Weddingbee boards

so, i've broken my foot and the doc says it's a bad break in a bad spot.

i was sick for my ortho appt and didn't make it. i had to reschedule and can't get in until this friday. well, it's been two weeks since the break and i fell yesterday and totally ruined any healing progress that had been made=( it looks terrible! it hurts like crazy and i can't put any pressure on it. my wedding was supposed to be on august the 8th! the dr had said i might need surgery and that this kind of break takes extra long to heal. he wasn't candy coating anything. he gave me 0 hope for the wedding.ok...so heres my question.

would you postpone your wedding?

i'm saying yes and my fiance thinks no.

i'll tell you why i want to, eventhough i think it's obvious ; )

- i know guests might be a bit put out and i do feel bad BUT, it's OUR hard earned money. i will have to use crutches down the aisle especially if i have surgery & it falls days before or maybe even closer to the wedding day.

we've waited for this day for 10 years!

i won't be able to have our first dance=(

i won't be able to dance period. we will be paying for a dj for everyone else but us...on our wedding day.

all of our pix will be with me and crutches. sorry but i'm not the kind to think it's *cute* i want to be beautiful without crutches for my day.i don't want to pay all this money for a pro photographer and get crutches in my pics.

we are going to jamaica right aftarwards. we have to leave 3 hourse after the reception. how am i going to walk with crutches all over an airport and while we're layed over. my underarms are already bruised. all that walking!  then, once we get to jamaica, how am i going to do all the things we payed for in advance? the scuba diving, the horseback riding, the outings, the rock climbing...the list goes on.

how will i swim in the ocean that i'm dying to swim in...

how am i going to walk in the sand? walking in sand is going to kill my foot. walking in sand is way different than walking on the flat ground. when that spot on my foot moves i almost scream=(

i don't think it's going to be healed enough by then to walk in sand...to dance...to walk down the aisle without crutches or a severe limp. i was also planning on joining in on the resort partying and having a little of the FREE alcohol with my new hubby.

 it just seems like all the fun i've payed for and have been dreaming about has went down the drain. i don't think my fiance is going to have fun either if i'm sitting around 24/7 and in pain.

what if i fall again right before the wedding? theres so many bad things that could make things even worse.

i just feel bad. i want to move the date but my fiance says that it will upset ppl and that he's embarrassed.

would you postpone? am i being selfish?

the money issue is ok. thats all worked out to postpone and no one has bought any plane tickets. everyone would be driving.

my question is what would YOU do....?

because putting yourself in the position would def make a HUGE difference. my parents are also wanting to postpone because they've payed a great deal too and want to see me happy and well.

if i did keep the date i honestly also feel that it risks my foot getting hurt even worse.

ya if it was an arm or hand...i would go through with it. but it's a sever break and it's my foot. walking is a big issue. mettetarcil( i think thats how it's spelled) breaks can be bad. my beak is severe in a very bad spot. metttarcil breaks take extra long healing time. if this was just a fracture in a regular spot, i'm sure i'd be ok. but, i'm black and blue and very very swollen and have injured it twice. i talked to my fiance tonight and he actually agreed with me without me bringing it up. i think it was his mother that was the problem.

i guess i am just wondering if i am in fact being selfish... and if others will think bad of me...

Hi, I'm fresh off my crutches & a walking cast myself.  I broke my foot the day before Easter, but was so fortunate not to need surgery....still some pain, but am doing ok. 

Since you asked, I will tell you...you must heal yourself before anything else.  I also work in a nursing home and have seen the ravages of old age, and you really need to focus on your health at this time. If your foot doesn't heal right, it will be a rest of your life problem.

 As for waiting for the wedding, that I cannot advise you on, as I eloped and for me, the most important thing is that I married my husband, not the dancing or the guests, but that is just me.  Talk some more to your doctor, future husband and yourself.  Obviously you need time to heal.  Do you want it with your husband by your side or your fiance?  I was in a walking cast without the crutches in 4 weeks, when is your wedding?  Is it possible to just wait until you are off the crutches.

I really hope the best for you.  you sound amazing, waiting 10 years, but please, give yourself this time to heal.  The pain is terrible, and I would hate for you to suffer more than you need to.  good luck

I just saw you've rehurt it...have you been to an emergency room?  haven't they put it in a temorary cast for you? 

thanks to everyone. ya i thought that too joeswifey* about how i don't think everyone would be upset because i wouldn't like to see a bride suck up the pain walking down the aisle for me.

yes heathaah* it does hurt very badly under my arms. they are purple and not very nice to look at. i know that the wedding is about the marriage but we've also put out a great deal of hard earned money and so have our parents and it's hard to let it go when we've wanted this experience to be nice.

to me, being is pain that day and if it's right after surgery, i might even be sick because pain killers make me sick.

it is hard to walk with crutches and if i fell down the aisle i'd be so upset. call me shallow but i want to be feeling good and looking good that day. every other girl will have nice heels on but then my husband can't see me that way? no matter if he loves me or not, he's a guy and i want to be sexy for him and not all in pain and on crutches with a big boot. thats for other time to me...not a wedding.

yes i can wait, we've waited this long and i don't need a piece of paper to tell me i belong to my fiance. we already belong to one another and feel married already.

once we're married the only difference will be that i get better insurance. we're not romantics in that way i guess. after 10 years whats 2 more months??? we'd rather make the money worth while. i'm glad he's come around and agrees with me now. liek i said, i really think it was his mother making him feel differently. she told my mother that this wedding is for our daughter and not me and that i need to be an adult. she's very pushy and i have no doubt that his choice was fueled by her opinions.

nobody is flying in and we're only out money to resend a notice to the guests of the new date. i'm just also so scared that i'll be in pain. or end up falling again...either right before or getting hurt during. if i have to have surgery i might not even be able to have my foot down...i really don't know. it's so risky=(

well, we are postponing the wedding. we are getting married in acouple weeks but then having the ceremony and reception later on. we are making adjustments now and it's going smoothly=)

ya i def thought about others and the money...the money isn't a problem and our vendors have dates available and are very understanding=) the guests aren't flying and it's mostly family and close friends and so far all we've heard is that they want us to postpone. so we're going for it=)

we picked our previous date, why not pick another? i don't care what day we have our wedding and reception on...i feel that the original date doesn't HOLD whats important. things are up in the air till wednesday with my foot.

fanatic888,  the reason why they haven't had surgery yet, is because i went to the er when it first happened and the dr in the er said it looked really bad and made me an appt for the ortho surgeon the next day. i was so sick and was vomitting and i didn't go. i was also being a stubborn and didn't want to hear what the surgeon had to say... at first. i wanted to pretend like things were going to be fine...well, it's not. now i've fallen again and have faced the music, I"M HURT. i'm seeing a diiferent dr than the dr that i would've seen the next day after the er visit. i was able to move it up to wednesday, so no, they haven't seen my xrays yet.

so thats why if i did need surgery that i haven't had it yet. also, my mother has plates and screws on both sides of her ankle. they did not rush her into surgery. she was sent to an ortho dr just like i was supposed to do but didn't. but i am on wednesday.

also...sadly...no one helpd me with anything. i've done everything in this wedding. if i can't get around, things won't get done. it's impossible=(

one more little thing too, well a big thing... the situation in which i broke my foot, isn't a memory i was to cherish or see in our photos. it's actually a very bad memory. it's not just a memory thats of a fall or something falling on my foot. it's a bad memory that honestly neither my fiance or i want to look back on or be reminded of. bad situation. bad memory. bad all together.

but see, no one knows *that.* i can't put that on my second rsvps as to why we're postponing.

btw...thos pics of the couple with the girl in the cast is all nice and all,but thats not my fiance's cup of tea. he's actually a pretty unartistic guy. we are opposites. he's not into anything cute or artistic. he's very particular and very bland,lol. i love him anyway but i'm not sure how he'll even deal with our phtots at the wedding even without a cast. he gets embarrassed over everything. and when he does it's not pretty or cute of him. he gets enraged. he's a moody dry kinda person. he doesn't even want the dj to call our names when we enter the reception. he doesn't want to be watched when we cut the cake=/ but he's going to permit these things for me, but trust me he will be upset the whole time.
he's even asked that i not wear chucks if i have to wear flats/sneakers instead of heels if my foots still sore. my idea was to wear chucks but he hates it.
*those pics are not us*
atleast not him.