- 5 years ago
I tried posting something similar before, but I worded it poorly and it got closed, so let me try to post this again so it doesn’t offend anybody.
My SO is really close with one of his guyfriends who is gay. His friend is still in the closet to some people, but most of his friends know, including my SO. Even though his friend is gay, he gets really weirded out when people make references to his sexuality, and doesn’t like to talk about it, and never wants to do anything to make his friends think he’s coming onto them. He apparently used to have a crush on my SO back in the day, but claims he’s over him. Since my SO knows this, he likes to tease him about it.
My SO told me one night they were out at dinner, and my SO thought it would be funny if they pretended they were on a date just to make everyone else around them uncomfortable. His friend was embarassed and didn’t want to, but SO did it anyway. Apparently, all the straight couples got candles on their tables, and SO flagged the waiter over and asked “Hey, where’s OUR candle?” very flamboyantly…haha?
I know he’s just joking around but this is kind of a sensitive subject with me because the man I dated before him actually was gay and in the closet, and the more I dated him the more obvious it became. I could tell he was lying to me about it and when I finally called him out on it, and he admitted that he had been with a man. Before he swore up and down he was straight and said he only pretended to be gay at work (he worked in retail) because “it makes the girls feel less threatened when I offer to help them in the dressing room”. Yeah, nice try.
My SO is also very OCD about his car and doesn’t want to drive it unless it’s absolutely necessary. I know this because we’ve had many fights about gas mileage, wear and tear on the car, and him not wanting to drive long distances to see me because he wants to conserve gas. This is all fine, until he tells me he drove 3 hours round trip to pick up this guy and drive him around all day, when the other guy offered to drive himself. When I asked him why that was an okay exception, he said “Well, he’s my friend and I wanted to do something nice for him.”
SO is the complete opposite of the other guy I dated in every other way, but it still makes me uncomfortable when he tells me stuff like this. Does your SO do stuff like this with his friends, or should I be worried?
Again, this thread is not meant to be hateful or hurtful to anyone, gay or straight. His friend just happens to be gay, and it’s an important detail I have to include.