Brother and SIL Rant! Help!

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
1349 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@FutureMrsReilly:  Yikes, this is a hard one!!!  When stuff like your shower happen, or when your brother accuses you of leaving your neices out because of your parents, how do you respond?  

 

I don’t even know what to tell you.  You are in the middle and it SUCKS.  This should be your special time.  My only advice would be to distance yourself from your brother and his wife.  If they want to live this miserable life, well, that’s their choice.  But it is your choice not to live it with them.  Good luck!

 

Post # 4
Member
785 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Write them off. They sound like major jerks who don’t even know the value of family. They sound horrible. Don’t play their spoiled baby games. If it was me, I’d tell them not to bother coming.

Post # 6
Member
1666 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

@FutureMrsReilly:  I’m really sorry. It completely sucks that you are stuck in the middle, especially because there are kids involved.

My best advice would be to try and distance yourselves from them for the time being; not completely, but try to limit speaking about the wedding to them as much as possible. They can’t complain about anything you don’t tell them.

And, if possible, see about trying to change your view about the situation – the only people who are going to be negatively effected by their behavior is them. The way they act is not a reflection on you or your FI.

Post # 9
Member
785 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Yes they probably do want you to take that road. And they most definitely will turn it back around on you but your family will know better I’m sure. But in the end, you’d all be better off. Best of luck.

Post # 10
Member
1666 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

@FutureMrsReilly:  I completely understand. We’re dealing with something similar (to a lesser extent) with our older siblings – my sister gave us a lot of issues during the first 2-3 years of our relationship and his brother’s GF is just unlikeable (for us personally; I’m sure there are some people out there who like her).

It does suck because you see that closeness that other people have with their siblings. Sometimes, its just healthier to take a few steps back and reasses what is going on and what you can do to change your outlook on things.

Post # 12
Member
1749 posts
Bumble bee

I’m not sure what you can do about this situation, but in the future try not to involve them in your special occasions in ways that make you dependent on them or where you have to work around them.

You know how they are, and they’re not likely to change anytime soon. You may love them, but that doesn’t mean you have to ask them to do things they’re not likely to do without kicking up a fuss or neglecting the task altogether.  

Post # 13
Member
1259 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@FutureMrsReilly:  Aw, I am sorry this is happening 🙁 I have not been in a similar situation but if I were you, I would try to not let them get under your skin. Or at least don’t let them know that. Pretend it does not bother you. Ignore any snarky comments. Try to focus on the positive things in regards to the wedding. You will not be able to make these people happy, no matter what.

I think just ignoring this stuff will give them some space and time. Hopefully they will come to their senses and realize they are making things worse. Good luck!

Post # 14
Member
1662 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@FutureMrsReilly:  Yikes. I’d take a step back from them. Invite them to things as guests, but don’t involve them otherwise. Then it’s all on them to come or not. Takes the uncertainty out of dealing with them. I have a similarly difficult SIL. I stopped replying to her texts altogether… It wasn’t my first choice but she is so erratic and bossy, ain’t nobody got time for that.

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