Post # 1
My brother is extremely hard to get along with and is a very rude and disrespectful person. He especially acts like this toward me & my fiance. However, he does act like this toward other people. He is sometimes "OK" in public, but you never know when he will have a selfish outburst. I am from a very European family where family is the #1 important thing.
Now, since none of you will be able to understand the situation completely, I will not ask you what you would do (unless you were in a similar situation and would like to share).
However, I would like to ask each and every one of you how you would perceive it (from the outside), if I included 1 of my siblings (but not the aforementioned brother), my fiance’s sibling, and other cousins/friends in my bridal party? Again, the fact that we included all siblings, other family members, even friends, but not my brother. How would you perceive it?
THANKS FOR ALL YOUR HELP!
Post # 3
I’m sure people will ask questions but then again people ALWAYS ask questions.
I had a similar situtation and i actually asked my step bro to be a GM as kinda of a peace offering… he said yes then dropped out 3 weeks before the wedding. FI and I didn’t really care but my step mom (his mom) was really upset which made my dad upset. They were all OK at the wedding but we didn’t get any pictures with him and the family which I think is kinda sad but again its his fault.
Post # 4
Do you want a better long term relationship with your brother? If so, I think that he at least deserves a heart to heart talk about why you are considering or won’t be including him in the wedding party. And maybe he won’t be offended at all or won’t want the responsibility of being in the party?
Post # 5
TallBride is right, there will always be some people who will question everything no matter what you do. But there’s probably just as many that won’t even notice! Though if you’re including the majority of other family, it might stand out a little more. I guess it depends on how bad you think he could really be. It might preserve peace in the family in the long run, if you can handle it.
Post # 6
It’s a tough decision to have to make. My gut says that if you’re hoping that leaving your brother out of the wedding party will reduce the chance that he has an outburst, you might be shooting yourself in the foot. I think it sends a pretty strong message, and if I were the only family member left out, I’d be both hurt and angry. Good luck, and I hope everyone behaves well!