Post # 1
So here is the deal…..my husband and I got married in vegas last weekend (hooray) and had a great time.
However, when we were planning the wedding, up until a week before my brother and his girlfriend were trying to find vacation deals to go and ultimately said they could not afford it….my brother and i were very close up until he got with this girlfriend. I offered to give them $200 dollars for the trip in return have his gf take some pics, this would have made there travel and lodging costs $600 for the two of them….i also asked if just my brother could go if they couldn’t afford the two of them because it was important to me to have him there. Well needless to say he was a no show.
When I returned home his gf (whom i have had to give a big effort to like and has taken control of my brother) posted on her facebook that her and my brother had gone on a weekend vacation together that weekend which cost them $200 less than vegas would have…my heart sank…..they didn’t even go to watch the wedding with my parents which was livestreamed from vegas….
I am not sure how to deal with this situation…..any suggestions?
Post # 3
My parents and I don’t get along. I adore my sisters. This may not be about you at all. Trust me, if my sister decided to celebrate having her hair cut, I’d be there, but maybe he can’t. Is there something going on with another family member you suspect? Maybe you don’t even know about it.
Do not personalize this. The odds are this had nothing to do with you. You are married and happy. In time, perhaps he’ll express his happiness for you, but if not, this is on him, not you.
Post # 4
Did she actually give a price breakdown of their trip, or were you estimating? Could there be other factors at work?
I’m not trying to excuse her/their behavior, but I can empathize with being unable to muster even as much as $600 for a trip. As a student living on stipend, by this point, many of my friends make as much as six times what I bring in before taxes. In one instance, I had one of them trying to persuade me to come along on a trip, and tell me “you can stay with us. You just need to buy the plane ticket. It’s cheap.” and fail to grasp that the $600 is my entire income for the month after bills are paid (if that).
In any case.. I’m sorry to hear that your brother didn’t make it, and that things are strained. 🙁
Post # 5
It’s hard to put a definate $ amount on someone else’s travel expenses. A trip to Vegas is airfare, hotel, taxis, meals, etc. When you have a destination wedding, you have to accept that not everyone can join. If your parents didn’t go, I’m not surprised your brother didn’t go.
Be careful not to put the blame all on the girlfriend. Maybe she’s not the best influence on him but he’s an adult and makes his own decisions. If you’re going to upset, be upset at him. He had a choice and he made it.
Post # 6
I am not so much mad at my brother, but more hurt…..
My parents did not go to the wedding as they were taking care of my young daughter so that my husband and i could go do this….
My issue really is that realistically he could have come on his own but i am not so sure his gf would let him….and it really hurt that he took her on vacation instead….
Post # 7
@jazzyt31: Maybe he felt out of place since your daughter and your parents weren’t going that? Did any other family members go? Either way that is kind of sucky.
Post # 8
I dont blame you for being sad, I would be too 🙁
Post # 9
what a minute. The GF actually posted
“Went away this weekend on a trip that only cost X amount of dollars”.
Post # 10
Wow all I can say is that you’re in a tough spot…you are damned if you do and damned if you don’t…no matter what you say it will taken out of proportion and you will be the bad guy…I would thread very carefully on this one…if your brother means that much to you, you may end up alienating him from your life, unfortunately you don’t have a say on who he dates, but if she has that much control over him then by bringing it up she may end up pulling him out of your life all together…sorry….hope you can find a solution.
Post # 11
I’m probably in the minority, but I don’t see why it’s a big deal your brother didn’t come. You left your daughter and parents at home.. why was he so important? Sometimes I think it’s best just to focus on yourself and be happy about your new marriage, you know?