Brother feels he wasn't invited to our engagement..

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
576 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@sunshinewish15:  He’s an adult and clearly offended that you treated him like one, lol. He and your mom need to get over it – you invited him and it’s not your fault he didn’t trouble himself to write it down/remember.

Post # 4
Member
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@MoonlitMagnolia:  umm yeah what you said.

 

2-3 weeks notice is a-ok in my book. If this was something he wantrd to attend he would have wrote it down and showed up. You don’t need to coddle a grown person and send follow up requests/ reminders.

Post # 5
Member
3222 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@sunshinewish15:  Was he invited around the same time as other family members, or did you invite everyone and then tell him much later?

I don’t understand why he would get the impression that he wasn’t invited, and why your mother would agree, unless his invitation was indeed like an afterthought. Regardless, based on what your relationship with your brother is like, it should be clear that there was never an intention to not include him. 

By your mom being offended because you “didn’t bring it up again” — is that because she expects you to have reminded him close to the date? If so, this is really not fair to you and I’m sorry it’s been thrown on your lap before such a joyous occasion. He’s an adult, and he should know how to organize his own calendar. You’re not his personal assistant.

Post # 7
Member
1662 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@sunshinewish15:  Meh, I’d say you DID invite him. I would have interpreted it that way if I were him. I’d bring it up with him and blame miscommunication, apologize for being unclear. (For the record, I don’t think you were. Just an easy thing to say in terms of smoothing it over.)

I heard the other day that my brothers gf was pissed for not being invited to our wedding. They have a kid together and have been together for 3 years. The thing is, I DID invite her. I sent my brothers invite to him with his name, her name specifically on it, and the baby’s name. They aren’t/weren’t living together right then, (they frequently breakup and get back together) so I just sent one to my brother. She expected me to send her another one, I guess? Strange expectation given that she doesn’t know my husband and she and I are not close. I also hadn’t seen her for about 6 months prior to that so… I suppose sometimes people have different (and sometimes questionable) ideas about what constitutes an invitation. 

I don’t think I’ll be able to smooth things over with the gf, as I never see her. Oh well.

Post # 8
Member
5697 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Your brother is acting like a child. How many direct invitations does a freaking adult really need? 

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