(Closed) Brother-in-Law proposed at our wedding reception

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
4765 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas

I am so sorry you had to deal with this!!! I can’t believe your brother would do that! I wish I had some advice, but I don’t….I really am so sorry that happened to you!

Post # 4
188 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I am so sorry, That is a terrible thing for them to do. How does your husband feel? The very vindictive side of me says DONT GO! or GO AND RUIN IT! But that won’t solve anything. I would absolutely talk with your brother in law and his fiancee with your husband, because they need to apologize. 

Post # 5
545 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

THAT is a wedding nightmare and thats so unfair that you had to go through that on your wedding night!!

Im not so sure how talking to them would make things any better, but you could definately try. They both sound very self absorbed and very selfish. If you dont want to go to the wedding, i say.. dont go! But talk to your husband about this and if you think it will cause a fight between you two then you can decide then. I know he is now family and all but really? Im a firm believer in NOT doing anything that will make you uncomfortable. on your wedding night?!?! that is too rude for words and too tacky. Im sorry that happened to you!! But remember-dont do anything that you dont want to do

Post # 6
790 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Thats awful. I wish your wedding had gone as you wanted.

Post # 7
5263 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

Wow, I can’t believe your brother was so selfish. I don’t know what to say except that I’m sorry!

Post # 8
13409 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2009 - Barr Mansion

Wow, that’s so rude.  I’m so sorry that this happened to you.  πŸ™

Post # 9
689 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Wow, i’d be pretty upset too..i’m sorry that it had to happen to you on your wedding day…maybe you could talk to them about how you feel?… hmm, not quite sure..hard situation..=T

Post # 10
1570 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

Oh, that’s terrible. My Fiance admitted to me that he had considered proposing to me at our friend’s wedding reception, mainly because all our friends would be there which would be nice, but that he’d changed his mind because he knew it would be “tacky.” I was mortified just hearing him say he’d considered it, I mean, “tacky” doesn’t begin to cover it! If only there were some resource for men to learn all the etiquette rules that we all go to so much effort to absorb, there might be a lot less hurt feelings in the whole wedding process.

The only thing I can think of that might be useful would be to ask your husband to have a talk with his brother and really drive home the point of how hurtful their behavior was, and how you’d like to maintain a good relationship with them but that they have made it extremely difficult by ruining such a special day for you. He should probably talk to his parents as well to work through the matter of them leaving the wedding reception early (!). Hopefully once they realize how much they hurt you, they’ll apologize and you can start to heal.

Post # 11
1490 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Ugh. What awful behavior. I wish I had some advice for you, but I don’t… I guess try to take the high road, attend and be polite, but don’t bother doing lots of extra work.

Post # 12
2765 posts
Sugar bee

Oh man, that sounds awful.

You could always go to his wedding but during the reception, announce to everyone that you and your husband are pregnant?

Post # 13
5399 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Haha, I actually thought of that Mr. Bee! 

It came to mind, because my sister just told my immeidate family a couple weeks before my wedding that she was 5 months pregnant (long story) and most of the people at the wedding found out at my wedding. 

Anyway, do you know why he chose to propose at your wedding reception? 

Post # 14
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

πŸ™ I opened this thinking it would be a happy, excited post πŸ™

Now I’m sad for you. It’s a shame he didn’t just talk to you guys about it ahead of time, so you could’ve been in on the fun and let them make an announcement and so forth – I mean, what better way to celebrate love than with MORE love?! It’s sad that he felt like he had to go behind your backs to do it. πŸ™

If you have a chance, I think it would be really great for you to get to spend some time with them before the wedding; if she won’t have much time to plan, maybe you can help, since you just planned your own wedding! It could be a really great time of bonding with them, an invaluable opportunity since family tends to stick around πŸ˜‰

Post # 15
86 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I am so sorry….I cant imagine that happening!!! I wish you the best!

Post # 16
73 posts
Worker bee

Ouch. That is tough. Has there been a chance for your new hubby to talk to his brother?

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