- 3 years ago
- Wedding: February 2015
Here’s a little background…
My SO and I have bene together a little over a year. Not engaged yet, but we spoke about marraige and have a loose timeline. I’m expecting a proposal sometime in 2014 and we would like to get married next year.
I moved in with him and his brother ( living in SO’s house ) a bit more than a year ago. When I moved, I was fine with living with his brother as I was fresh out of law school and articling, not getting paid much. It just made sense. Only thing is it got harder and harder living with my SO’s brother throughout the year. It’s not my BIL who’s the problem, at all. We get along very well. it’s just the lack of priacy and constantly having someone around. I’m 30 now, and starting to be very tired of living with a roomate. I want to move my relationship to the next level and lve just my SO and I.
SO and I discussed this in december 2013, and decided to ask his brother to move out in january 2014. SO spoke to him about moving out. We didn’t want to rush him out, so at first my SO just told him that he should start looking for places. My BIL accepted, but didn’t start looking. He’s VERY easily stressed and hates change. He’s 32 and only moved out of his parent’s house around 29 years old, only to live with his younger brother ( my SO ). So he’s been dragging his feet since January, with my SO giving him soft reminders here and there.
So last month I had another conersation with my SO telling him that I was starting to lose patience. We agreed to give him until July 1 to move out. SO spoke to his brother, who said that he understood and that he was ok with that. I sent him links of places to visit, discussed it a few times wiith him, but he never does anything concrete.
Fast forward to today, June 18, and he still hasn’t even been to visit anywhere. I don’t want to nag him ( or my SO ) but I’m starting to feel really disrespected. I know he’s not dragging his feet as a form of dirsespect to our relationship, it’s just that he REALLY hates change. But To me his behavior makes me feel like he doesn’t care that living wih him is affecting my SO and I’s relationship. it really is. I’m going to ask my SO to talk to his brother AGAIN but can’t help but feel like such a nag. I just want us to be able to live together and start out lives as a couple without having a third wheel around al the time. Anyone experienced this? it’s so hard dealing with family because I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings!