Post # 1
I read this on Wiki:
A brother-in-law (plural brothers-in-law) is the brother of one’s spouse, the husband of one’s sibling, the husband of one’s spouse’s sibling, or the brother of one’s sibling’s spouse.
So here is an example, correct me if I am wrong:
Family A- Family B-
Alice married Matt, Greg is Alice’s BIL and Amy is Matt’s SIL. However, according to this, Amy and Greg would be BIL and SIL too, since Greg is the brother of Amy’s sibling’s spouse? So my sister’s husband’s brothers would be my BIL too?
But would their wives be my SIL?
Ahh! The confusion!
Post # 3
Amy and Greg are not in-laws. Wiki is wrong in this case: “brother of one’s sibling’s spouse” is not an in-law.
The way I think of it is in terms of families. When Alice married Matt, she joined the “B” family, so is an “in-law” to everything Matt is. i.e. where Matt is a son, she is a daughter-in-law. Where Matt is Greg’s brother, she is Greg’s sister-in-law. This of course is reflected in family functions, where Alice is welcomed as part of the family, since she is married to Matt.
But Amy did not marry into the B family so is not Greg’s SIL. Similarly Matt married into the “A” family, but Greg did not.
Amy and Greg are not in-laws because there is no family there are both part of. Amy is in the A family but not the B family. Greg is in the B family but not the A family.
Post # 4
I have never thought of or called my Brother-in-law’s wife, my sister-in-law. She is my Brother-in-law’s wife.
My hubby’s sister is my sister-in-law.
Post # 5
This is really strange because my Husbands name is Greg and his brothers name is Matt…haha.
But I have always referred to Matt’s wife as my sister-in-law.
Post # 6
All of those I consider brother in law except for the last one: brother of one’s siblings spouse.
My husband’s brother, Greg*, is definitely my brother in law.
When my sister Holly* gets married her husband will be my brother in law.
And when my husabnd’s sister Molly* gets married her husband will then be part of the family too just like me and then he will also be my brother in law.
But Holly’s husband, Mike’s*, brother? I wouldn’t consider him related to me at all. He’d be Holly’s brother in law, but not mine.
Post # 7
How interesting! My brother and I are both married. I would think the DH and my SIL think of themselves in-laws, but I’m trying to think how he would refer to her. Maybe “My wife’s SIL?” I don’t know!!!
ETA: DH says he considers my SIL to be his SIL.
Post # 8
Yes I also consider my husband’s sister’s husband my BIL. Again applying the families principle: assuming my husband’s surname is Smith, we both married into the Smith family, so he is my BIL my our shared membership of the Smith family.
IMHO. in-law covers marriage only. It can be one or two marriage links, but no sibling links.
Husband’s sister’s husband = brother-in-law
brother’s wife’s brother = unrelated (just SIL’s brother)