- 6 years ago
- Wedding: December 2011
Long due to detail. Feel free to skim.
The background: I have two half-brothers. They are my father’s boys from his first marriage, and they are 41 and 44. The older of the two is entirely estranged from the family, so he basically doesn’t exist. The younger one spent a lot of time around me and my parents when I was younger, but following a bad divorce he moved away.
We (father, mother, FI, me) attended his wedding to his 2nd wife in Florida. Both he and his wife have divorced/remarried parents (yep, 4 sets of parents all told) and all of them were seated and honored with escorts. My father and I were asked to provide the ceremony music, which we happily did.
I don’t talk to this brother (I refer to him as such, since saying “half” all the time sort of sounds strange) very often, and we’re not as close as we were when I was a kid, but he still means a lot to me and I know he cares. He and his wife are attending our wedding, which obviously involves the same amount of traveling for them as it did for us last year. They got married at the end of Jan 2011, and our wedding is mid-January 2012. Totally unplanned since we set our date first, but very cool!
Anyway, FI and I decided early on to forego a wedding party and just have his brother as his best man. I don’t have any women in my life I wish to stand up with me, so this worked out just fine. Until recently…
My parents brought it up first, but I’ve been thinking about my brother. I wasn’t in his wedding party, but then, there are probably a lot of reasons behind that. I did play in it, which perhaps is even better. But… should I ask him to be my Man of Honor?
Do I want him to stand with me? Are we close enough, or will he say no? Or be uncomfortable? I am terribly confused, and have felt a lot of pressure from my parents to have him stand with me. In part, I think it’s due to the “equality” issue of me not having an attendant — not my problem, theirs. He doesn’t have to do or say anything, just stand there next to me. I never, ever thought I’d be faced with this dilemma, but I need to decide soon.
Please, I welcome your thoughts and comments.