Brother made a weird comment…

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
1355 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Bump.

 

I think it’s always nice to include siblings in the wedding party, but it’s ultimately up to you. Sounds like your brother might be getting his feelings hurt, though as he has mentioned it to you. Maybe you can talk to a parent for advice?

Post # 4
Member
376 posts
Helper bee

Could you get to them to do a reading or toast so they feel included?

Post # 5
Member
3014 posts
Sugar bee

@FutureMrsHallam:  sounds like he is feeling left out. I would have something special for them or at least him to do. I would be hurt if my sister had a bridal party that didnt include me. 

Post # 6
Member
7216 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@FutureMrsHallam:  How many BMs did she have? If she had way more than you it’s not exactly comparing apples to apples.

I lilke @NekoKitten:  ‘s idea of having your brother do a reading or toast. I always think a reading is a good role for an opposite sex sibling.

Post # 7
Member
3415 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I don’t think there is any obligation.

Post # 8
Member
1590 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Nah. My older brother didn’t have a bridal party so I asked my brothers & SIL if they minded not being in it. They didn’t care. They’ll still be in photos, walk down the aisle, and invited to the bachelor and bachelorette parties.

 

MIL hinted about her nieces, who are like siblings to FI, but I left the decision up to him.

 

We have two on each side, one sibling and one bff.

Oh but his cousins are doing a reading.

 

Post # 9
Member
1179 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’m getting my brother to MC. I didn’t want to force my FI to put anybody in the wedding party. The only must was my 2 nieces and nephew.

Post # 10
Member
1590 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I just re-read your post. Since you have his sister you should prob have your brother, or your SIL at the very least. I feel like keeping it uneven and not adding her is kinda crumby.

Post # 11
Member
2111 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

My brother and I are pretty close, so I told FI that I wanted him to be a GM. That’s my one request in regards to his stuff for the wedding and he’s obliged. In return, I’ve told him that if he wants his sister to stand on my side, that I’d be happy to have her as a BM. They’re relationship is a bit shaky, so it’s quite possible he won’t want her playing a role. As of right now, we have her as the ring bearer bearer. He wants our cat to have the rings, but we all know he’s not going to walk down of his own accord. His sister would be the one to carry him.

Post # 14
Member
3014 posts
Sugar bee

@FutureMrsHallam:  well you didn’t share all that info! I say have them doing a reading or toast or have him usher. 

Post # 15
Member
791 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I wouldn’t feel obligated to include either of them as a bridal party member.  IMHO, being a sibling doesn’t automatically mean you have to include them.  As PPs have suggested, if they’re feeling left out, I would have them do a toast or a reading during the ceremony.

Post # 16
Member
4827 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

@FutureMrsHallam:  Feel no obligation to have someone in your wedding you don’t absolutely love. If you and his DW had a tumultuous relationship, a wedding will only bring out the worst!

For what it’s worth, anyone I know who isn’t chosen to be in a wedding is SO RELEIVED. No one I know actually wants to be in a wedding, the time, the money, the stress, the awful dresses… maybe because we’re 30?

Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors