Post # 1
So when my FI and I chose our bridal party, we decided not to make my two brothers groomsmen because I’m not close to them and FI had never met my oldest brother, and only met my middle brother two brief times.
However, my middle brother got married yesterday and I was a bridesmaid. I also had not known my brothers (now) wife very well, but being a bridesmaid made me feel so included and part of the family, that now I’m starting to doubt not making my brothers groosmen. As well, my FI finally got a chance to sit and talk to the brother he had never met before.
They already know they aren’t part of the bridal party. FI and I have been talking about calling them up and telling that that we made a mistake and we really would be honored to have them be part of the bridal party…but part of me thinks its tacky to backtrack on our decision?
I’ve also been playing with giving them an even bigger role, for example, having my oldest brother MC the rehearsal dinner, and having my middle brother and his wife do a reading at the wedding?
I’m torn about what to do.
What do you think??
Post # 3
I would stick with your decision because you dont want it to seem that you werent sure…but most definitely find an important role for each of them so they can still be a part of things
Post # 4
I think it would be fine to have them play other parts in the wedding!
I have 4 brothers but none of them know FI well and he already had 6 guys he wanted to ask and neither of us wanted 10 groomsmen. At this point, one of my brothers will be a reader and one will escort my mom. Not sure about the other two but I know that one of them won’t want to be involved because he’s just not into weddings
Post # 5
@cdubz: yea, we definitely were sure at the time, but now I feel super unsure just because I didn’t realize what a nice feeling it is to be part of the bridal party. I don’t want my brothers to feel left out or to feel insulted, especially after my middle brother made me a bridesmaid
Post # 7
@lanipapillon: Just because his wife asked you does not mean you have to ask your brothers. That said, if that experience made you realize how special it is and made you WANT your brothers as groomsmen, then call them up, say you didn’t realize how incredibly special and (as you said) ‘part of the family’ it made you feel, and now you realize how much you want them there as groomsmen. I’m sure they’ll be very touched. OR, tell them precisely how you want them involved and still say how you realized it…being upfront is best and, honestly, your true reason for the change of heart is a quite touching and beautiful one so I’d use it!
Post # 8
I would stick with your decision but maybe ask them to serve in another way at the wedding. Maybe they could be ushers, or do readings. Or since (I’m assuming) your dad will be walking you in, they could walk your mother in.