Post # 1
So I just found out my brother’s new girlfriend (of only a couple months) is pregnant. She already has one baby, my brother has a daughter and neither of them have jobs ATM, so in my eyes this is not really something to celebrate. They haven’t been to the Dr. yet so I don’t know the actual due date and we obviously need to give it some time to see what happens BUT from my math (with a home pregnancy tests that you need to be at least 4-5 weeks along for it to pick up the protein in your urine) her conception date would be around mid Sept. Nine months from there is Mid June. My wedding is June 4th! And they live 8 hours away from me so they would be traveling up here and my brother is supposed to be a groomsmen… My mom wants them to come up regardless and give birth up here if that’s what happens.
So what should I do if my worse case scenario comes true which is that she is due the week of or the week after my wedding? Should i tell my brother I hope they can make it but he should probably not be IN the wedding? Do we just proceed as planned and just be short a groomsmen if something goes wrong and he can’t come up here? Do I maybe just ask him to stay behind and be with his GF who would be 8 1/2 months pregnant? I know he wouldn’t come up here without her so that is not an option…
I love my brother and if he’s happy then I’m happy too, I wouldn’t begrudge him or her if they can’t make it. The world obviously does not revolve around my wedding, lol… I’m just looking for the best way to handle this without hurting feelings and all of us still being able to plan things as needed.
I know it’s early and a lot can change but I’m really freaking out about this. I want my family there but I don’t want someone going into birth at my wedding and I can’t imagine an 8 hour car ride would be comfortable for a very pregnant woman anyways…
Post # 3
I think if you really want your brother IN the wedding just go ahead as planned and hope for the best. We had uneven wedding party from the get go and it worked out just fine.
We had a girl at our wedding that was due two days after, and she was a trooper, but an 8 hour drive might be a bit much.
Post # 4
I’d say wait and see how pregnant she is and when her due date is before you get too worried. Also, if you really want your brother in the wedding, put him in the wedding, and if something happens then he just cannot attend. I also would never ask him to leave his almost nine month pregnant (36 weeks, I’ve been told 40 weeks is usually how long pregnancy is though from conception to due date but someone correct me if I’m wrong) girlfriend. Also, when they find out the due date, just talk to them both about what they think about the whole thing. And still congratulate them even if they aren’t in the best financial situation. My FBIL and his wife just had a baby and were three months behind on bills but it was still a celebration when he was born.
Post # 5
@SapphireSun: We were already going to be one less groomsmen, 4 groomsmen, 4 Bridesmaids and a JR. Bridesmaid (My brother’s daughter), is 2 short going to look really weird? I have 3 ushers that I could move one to a groomsmen but again I don’t want to assume he won’t or can’t come…
Post # 6
If you haven’t yet asked the rest of your bridal party, maybe wait a month or two until a due date is ‘official.’ Then, if it does seem that it will line up with your wedding day, perhaps ask your brother to be an honorary groomsman. I really think that talking with them about what they’d want to do about travel is a good idea, and about how important being present at your wedding is for your brother. With being close to the due date and having such a long travel time, I’d guess that they’d prefer to be close to home/their doctor, but it would still be polite to discuss it with them. He could still be in your programs, you could have a skype feed for them to watch at home, and he could even skype in a speech if they baby isn’t making its debut at the same time.
Post # 7
@indibee: Skype’s a great idea if they can’t make it! Thanks!
Post # 8
I’m not sure there’s a perfect answer here. Maybe you should start by asking him what HE would like to do?