Post # 1
One of my bridesmaids is going all out with party planning – she’s planning our Buck and Doe (an Ontario, Canada tradition) and has told me she wants to organize a shower, too.
How do I tell her that I don’t want a shower? I’m uncomfortable enough with having a Buck and Doe – I don’t need the same people also feeling like they need to attend a shower.
Post # 3
I would ask her if she had different people in mind for each guest list? Were their folks she was thinking about inviting to the Buck and Doe (maybe work friends or people who know you as a couple) vs. the shower (family and close friends?). If she says no… then you can ask isn’t that just the same party with half the guest list not invited? I’d ask her with open ended questions. Make sure she has the same assumptions you do. Then if she does its easy to point out there is no point in having the same gift-giving party twice.
Post # 4
A Buck & Doe is like a community party, where you rent out a hall, and there’s games, cheap drinks, raffles, etc. Usually a dance. A lot less personally, especially since there can be anywhere from 50 to 200 people attending.
The shower would be significantly smaller and actually a chance to talk to people, but I still don’t think we need both.
I realize I just need to talk with her, haha.