Post # 1
Hey all! I’m new here and newly engaged with quite a handful of anxieties that just flooded into my head after I decided that today was the day I would start to look into this “planning a wedding” business.
My fiancé and I are relocating from the east coast to the midwest come the new year, so while I was hoping to wait until we were situated to start thinking about planning a wedding, unfortunately, since we will get married here in our home state, there are a few things we need to deal with while we’re here.
Anywho, my questions right now are more about weddings on a budget… I am not a big spender, and the idea of pouring countless paychecks into one day makes me anxious. I don’t know our budget as of right now, but I know that alcohol is going to be one of our larger costs, as we are going to have a backyard wedding and can cut costs left and right with that, thankfully. My question is this – is it not proper etiquette to not offer an open bar? My dad’s side of the family exists in a semi-constant state of buzzed, and a couple of my friends I’m inviting are from the job I had in a bar… so we have quite a few big drinkers whom may take advantage of an open bar. I even had another friend who said people may not come if there isn’t unlimited alcohol. Which, if I’m being honest, in my 25 years, I’ve managed to have fun at any party without drinking a lot, if any, so I know it’s possible! And also being honest, I guess if they are in it for the booze, I don’t really need them there anyway, right? But I know I can’t have a completely dry wedding… but I was hoping to find a way to trim down alcohol costs as much as I can. Any suggestions?
Post # 2
We are not planning on offering alcohol at our wedding. They can be fun without it, though it sounds like your crowd will expect some type offered. You can do beer and wine, beer and wine and signature cocktails are fun. You and your FI pick a favorite hard liqour drink and offer only those with the beer and wine selections.
You can save costs by buying it in bulk from total wine, sams club, costco place.
Thats about all I have, like i said we aren’t really planning on having anything. I could see my FI sister or brother in law offering to bring some stuff but I”m not counting on it. Our families aren’t huge drinkers and our budgget is $5000. That was one of the first things we cut.
And i agree, if people expect unlimited alcohol and decide not to go if there isn’t, they need help. That’s ridiculous!
Post # 3
sam.melrose: the etiquette really depends on the time of day you have things. I wish I would have known that when I started looking. If you guys are ok with it that would be a great way to cut down costs to have a morning or afternoon ceremony. For that, non alcoholic drinks, light appetizers and light desserts are acceptable. For the night ceremonies, people expect alcohol and a full dinner. If you really want the night ceremony you could always plan it for later to have 3 hours of drinking versus 6 hours. It really won’t be money wasted if you are buying the alcohol. Either you can use it later or give it as housewarming gifts etc. editing to add- my friend told me recently about a wedding they went to that had buns, deli meats, cheese for food and didn’t have alcohol. mostly everyone left right after to go watch the football game. Even if I cut costs and paid 5k I would have been upset if that happened. I would have been more upset if the scenario was paying 20k to offer catering and alcohol and that still happened.
Post # 4
I would recommend beer and wine, or saving lots of money and making pitchers of huge drink dispensers of adult iced tea, adult lemonade or Sangria. Sangria would be my go to, because it looks wonderful, tastes great, and it’s usually great with cheap wine vs expensive wine because the fruit adds a lot of flavor. Here are a few more: http://apracticalwedding.com/2013/06/easy-summer-signature-cocktails-weddings/
Post # 5
I think that if you decide to offer alcohol, you should be the one paying for it- whether that be an open bar, or just offering beer/wine. I went to a fancy dinner last night and they had a few bottles of wine on each table, which was definitely enough to spice things up- that could be another choice. Of course, you can also choose to not have it, and people will still have fun!