Budget issues… would this be tacky?

posted 3 years ago in Reception
  • poll:
    Yes, that's tacky to make everyone pay for their own : (222 votes)
    95 %
    No, feeding all those people is pricey : (11 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    525 posts
    Busy bee

    Yes definitely. Why not just get some sheet cake and invite everyone over to a house for drinks and cake?

    Post # 4
    Member
    3625 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    @blackmoonlily:  Yes. It would be. What could work is if you had a small, private wedding and then had people over to your parent’s house or a park for a BBQ. You might be able to get away with a potluck if you call it something other than a reception and make it clear that the gift is their food. Or you could do punch and cake. How much money do you have? I would be happy to come up with ideas.

     

    Post # 6
    Hostess
    7630 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2013

    I would only invite people to what you can afford to host. I feel ya, it’s expensive. Could you do a backyard cake and punch reception instead? 

    Post # 7
    Hostess
    7630 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2013

    @blackmoonlily:  We must have posted at the same time. If the family insists I would ask them to help pay for it. If they can’t (and I didn’t want a wedding) I would elope. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    150 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    We recently went to a wedding, the reception was held at a restaurant and the couple requested no presents but rather everyone buy their own meal, it was a large wedding at a reasonable priced restaurant and no one thought it was tacky, it turned out to be quite lovely.

    I wouldn’t do that at my wedding, but at the same time I don’t believe it is tacky at all. Weddings cost a fortune so i am learning and if you ask them to not buy you a gift in lieu of them buying their own dinner then I dont think it would be an issue.

    But that is just my own personal opinion.

    Post # 11
    Member
    8047 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2015

    Posted this in your duplicate thread :

     

    YES that is tacky. If it means so much to your family can they help pay for it? Because yes, I would be terribly offended if I was invited to a reception then asked to pay for my meal. That’s not hosting that’s just forcing someone to pay for dinner. And what a mess it would be when the bill came.

     

    what about a backyard BBQ? or cake and punch? there are lot of alternate options but do not invite people to a restaurant reception then ask them to pay for it. 

     

     

     

     

     

     

    Post # 14
    Member
    3625 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    @blackmoonlily:  Here is what my friends did (similar situation)– they had a small private ceremony of just their immediate families and then went to dinner afterwards at a normal restaurant (nothing fancy). Eloping could work just as well if you don’t want your parents there, but they prefered to give their parents 2 weeks notice to take off and join them. Then their parents through a celebration for them 6 or 7 months later because their parents wanted it– it was not something they did or paid for. If you are only having a wedding for your parents, this could be a good strategy.

     

     

     

    Post # 15
    Hostess
    7630 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2013

    @blackmoonlily:  That puts you in quite the pickle then. I would take their money and just do something really small. Like you said before, you could host a dinner at a restaurant.

    Or you could just elope and tell your parents they can throw whatever they want in your honor. Like a PP said, it’s not unheard of to have a “hometown reception” months after eloping. 

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