OP: We’re in the exact same situation! My parents are incredibly involved in the whole process and have already basically accepted him into the family, they’re helping to pay for things, as well as helping us to “get started” in other ways.
His parents, on the other hand, have been less involved. Don’t get me wrong…I love them, they’re very nice, but a bit antisocial. I can’t see them to offer to help pay for the wedding, but they’ve paid his entire way through college (tuition, board, food, etc.) and given us a great opportunity just in the fact that he has no student loan debt.
I am also pretty content with the fact that they’re not as involved, I am incredibly nervous about my parents meeting his though, for several reasons. First of all, my Dad is extremely outspoken conservative, and his Dad is an extremely passionate liberal. (Both of our Mothers are fairly moderate/apathetic, as are FI and I.) Beyond that, his family dynamics are extremely different from mine. His Dad is the passionate/emotional one in the relationship, and his mother is very passive and calm and logical. Both of my parents are very passionate, but my mother is definitely the more emotional, and my Dad approaches everything logically. I think the biggest concern for us, though, is the generational gap. My Mother is 40, and my Dad (step-Dad, technically) is 37. Both of his parents are mid-fifties, I believe.
It will be interesting, for sure…fortunately, we’re settling in Virginia near my family, and his parents are all the way in Northern CA, so hopefully it won’t be too huge of a deal if they don’t get along.
Let me know how it turns out in your situation though, maybe you can provide me with some tips. Our families won’t meet until his family flies out for the wedding!
Edit: SO sorry for bumping this post, I just noticed how old it was…