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THEY'RE AWESOME! i did them as a welcome-home-from-Iraq gift and he was completely stunned. I would say let her use them. NObody will ever recognize you, and if they do, who cares?! My photographers have the rights to mine, and I could care less. Anybody who sees them just raves about them to me. They weren't done tacky, either, but very classy, pin up style. I showed them to my mom. Yes, my mom. She thought they were awesome, too! DO THEM! They're a wonderful gift and your FI will love them, I guarantee it. And really, I wouldn't worry about having exclusive rights to them. She's doing you a favor, so you should do her one and let her build your portfolio. Most photographers have a password protected gallery for boudoir pics. For the studio I went to, I had to call and ask them over the phone for it to view the pics. And it's not like the women were naked. The ones posted were the conservative shots. In studio were the less conservatives for the women who wanted to bare more of it all. You can stay fully clothed in yours or whatever you want to do! So if you are concerned about that, YOU control the conservativeness of your own pictures.
I personally have to differ. Your image is your image. You will be possibly seeking a different job in the future and it's not good to have floating about any questionable photos. This is why I don't myspace or facebook and was told even socially pictures taken aren't really welcomed by employers. One of the VP's I know where I work said that's not a good idea professionally. Many employers these days DO internet searches on you btw. I know my job did all searches including legal and background checks too.
If they can't give you all the rights to your own pics and all the pics, I wouldn't do it. Do you want your picture (if it is budoir it is suggestive at the least) gracing the internet in that manner? Moreover, would your FI want you doing that too? Plus think of your professionalism.
I think these pics are fine...if your privacy is 100 percent respected and the photographer allows you to have a say and right as to what happens to the pictures.
I mention it to the FI when we just got engaged and he said he would rather be the one behind the camera. hehe.
I never thought about it that way, bellenga but you are right. If you have a "professional" job it might not be that great to have suggestive pictures of you floating around the internet.
Thanks for the mention. This clinches it for me that I won't do it. I do have a professional career and would hate to have my credibility lessened because of that.
And I agree about asking your FI. Would he be comfortable with someone else taking pictures of you like that?
What worries me is that this would be the photog's very first budoir shoot so you have no idea whether they will be tastefully done or totally embarrassingly awkward. Furthermore, to have no control over where these pictures end up would be a dealbreaker for me.
If you can't afford it now, you can always get them done later as an anniversary shot.
Hmmm, i have a professional job. But my name is not mentioned on any of the pictures that my studio took. The only way someone would know it's ME is if they went in there and physically looked at them. Mine are not floating around on the internet...they're in a private gallery that you can access per request only. The women in the studio don't give the password to men. Only women who are interested in having their photos done there. So I think it really depends on how your photographer handles that. My wedding photographer (who didn't do my boudoirs) said she hired a professional model to do her boudoir portfolio for that reason, though. I met with a few people before I did these, and ALL the photographers were incredibly respectful of your privacy. A couple of them only had the pictures in their own studio. Nobody will frown upon you if they go to the studio, look through a boudoir photo, and suddenly recognize you. Obviously they're there for the same reason 
. Just make sure she isn't going to like, load them onto Flickr or something of that nature. Now that would creep me out, too!
I'd pay the extra 200 and know that my image was not going to be used in some way that I would be upset or offended by. My peace of mind is definately worth that.
I agree with those that said not to do it. You don't know what her "conservative" is, you can't see any examples, AND she would own the rights to use the pics on her blog, etc? I don't like the sounds of that. If I were you, I would hold off until you can afford it- maybe for your 1 year anniversary.
For me, the rights would be worth waiting so that I could afford it. Or you could consider just extending him an open invitation to be the one behind the camera directing you :)
I did it and I loved it, and I gave my photog permission to post the photos on her blog. She's only using initials, but I wouldn't care anyway. That's just how I am. :)
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I would wait too for a deal that comes by that gives you full rights to the boudoir shots. As previous posters have mentioned, it could hurt your future education/profession if those pics are all over the internet. I also feel like a good ethical photographer would always ask you first before they post a pic on their portfolio or on their blog, especially with boudoir shots.
If you don't mind me asking, what's your budget for boudoir pics? There are many photographers these days who are doing boudoir and have good deals.
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Well I don't really want to ask my fiance what he thinks, beause they are ment to be a surprise. He knows me and knows this is not really something I would do, so I know that when I give him the finished product he is going to be COMPLETELY suprised and completely a fan of them.
The photgrapher I am in contact with set the price at 100 dollars with hair and makeup by professionals included in the price, unlimited outfit changes, and 10 4x6 images from the shoot. I really like her photography style, at least what I've seen from her engagement/model shoots.
I don't hink that it would be a probelm if she posts some of the more conservative shots on her blog, because she only uses first names and I am sure she wouldn't mind using a fake name. i more worried about if somebody stumbled across it that knows my fiance or I. I am constantly suprised by how small the world is nowadays, I am always running into somebody who knows me or knows of me from a mutual friend. I would just hate to worry that a coworker/boss/ or fiance's coworkers/boss could stumble across them.
The problem is that you don't know for usre if she will only post the conservative ones. Everyone has different ideas of what "conservative" is. Once they are out there, they are out there for her to share with potential clients or on her blog as she sees fit. Given that, I would highly suggest that you wait until yuo have the extra money to buy the exclusive rights to the pictures. $200 might seem like a lot now, but if these pictures get seen by the wrong people, you will cringe and wish you had just paid the $200 to avoid the embarrassment!
She has to get permission to put your images on the internet and in a blog so sign a waiver telling her that your face is not to be used. That's what I did with mine, and everything was fine. And if she's new, she's not going to screw it up. Just write something up in Word like "I, (name), allow (photographer) to post photos on the internet as long as they do not show my face or any other identifying features" and take two copies. One for you and one for her, and both of you sign both. I would think that would cover you. Also tell her not to use your name. Most people who stumble on the photos aren't going to know you by your leg ... probably.
BTW, DH loooooooves the photos I gave him for a wedding present.
Those are great points fellow Bees and Robin.
I am not opposed to budoir photography at all. What I am opposed to is people putting "me" out there when I don't give them permission to and possibly in an unflattering or unprofessional light.
That is definitely what a corporate VP told me recently when we were talking about various subjects regarding photos..she actually mentioned facebook and myspace first but then I brought the topic around to intimate budoir pictures. She said that recently they'd looked at candidates for a high ranking position, and did VAST searches on them to see what kind of leader (yet still an employee) they would be. She also said "Remember those incriminating myspace shots that cost several Miss USA's their state crown? I have a hint..businesses work the same way when we find that on you."
If I knew I had 100 percent of the rights and was ok with the photographer and knew he/she was both ethical and respected in her profession, that's a different story. But I just don't want all that out there.
Now if you KNOW your photographer, are comfortable with knowing 100 percent of where your pics are and who has rights to them and if/how your image is utilized, then that's a personal choice. Like I said, I think that kind of photography is GREAT..I just see the POTENTIAL for abuses.
Robin your pictures are beautiful! not only your Budoir photos but all your others as well! Well done.... I'm not planning on having them done for myself but if I did I would definitely go with the Vintage Corsets and Lingerie you had on your site. Lovely
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Hi Bellenga,
You said it much more eloquently than I did! LOL you are exactly right!
Some brides are still quite young and may not have thought this through.
Girls it is worth paying for your digital file rights trust me! There is trashy boudoir and classy beautiful boudoir. In fact it is not necessary to show any private body parts to still have beautiful sexy boudoir photos created! Its all about the eyes and the suggestion of just what is under those clothes that often sparks a mans interest!
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My grandma always used to tell me that the reason why men the world over went nuts for Betty Grable (pin up queen) and Marilyn Monroe was because of what these gorgeous women LEFT to the imagination!
In fact, if I did a budoir, I'd like something along the lines of this:
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Everyone above has made excellent points but the bottom line is that you should do whatever feels right for you. My input would be that if you decide to move forward but not to spend the $200, perhaps you could have it written into the contract that she can use the final photos only with your written approval, and only the shots which you approve?
Boudiour photography is a somewhat sensitive issue so as a professional in that industry, she is going to need to learn to work with the different comfort levels and sensibilities of a wide variety of clients.
All that being said, I think you can still surprise your FI by decorating your own bedroom and being dressed in your favorite lingerie, and let him shoot "just for fun". Then take the pics and present him with the book as a double surprise!
HTH!
Now I like how Lorienne thinks! You can always do the "pretend"photo shoot with your guy!
We both LOVE LOVE LOVE mine! They are sexy and classy, nothing trashy or unflattering. BUT I had my wedding photographer who I have a lot of trust and respect for take them. She would never put something out there that she knew I/ other clients weren't comfortable with. She doesn't blog them, doesn't advertise them, doesn't even hint that she does them. The only reason I knew she did them is because I asked. I would never let someone who I didn't have a lot of trust in take the pictures. I would just get nervous. If you're dead set on having this photographer take them for your wedding present, I think maybe a contract might be the best option. Outline word for word what you think is acceptable to show people and what you don't. Good luck! Let us know what you decide.
Some food for thought via the blog Handcrafted: THe Cure For the Common Wedding
This is something that I really want to do. Although I am going to wait until after the wedding. I want to give them to my FI soon to husband for our 1st anniversary.
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I wanted to do it as the groom's gift, but my fiancee told me that I wasn't allowed! I was a little annoyed that he basically forbade me to get the photos done, but he just doesn't want anyone else to see me half naked, which is sort of cute. I think I'm more annoyed that I have to think of a different groom's gift!
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I would only do it if I owned 100% of the rights. A lot of photographers own the rights to their photos. I wouldn't want he/she posting photos of me on their photo blog.
These fellow bees are %100 correct! I am a makeup artist here in Los Angeles, and I also work on a lot of boudoir/pinup shoots. One photographer that I do a lot of work with on pinups absolutely does the most tasteful possible boudoir, vintage lingerie, etc, with very little nudity. She gives the model exclusive rights, and only posts a few of the tasteful ones on her website. No nudity! Names are NEVER mentioned, so it is hightly unlikely that any future employer would even think to look there. She has been in business a long time and is highly ethical.
What I am saying is that it is very important to choose someone with a reputation who has been around for a while, and to make sure you get exclusive rights to the images. Spend the extra money if you can, or else wait for the photo shoot to be an anniversary present... that is a great idea. I have modeled for her before, and none of my images has ever ended up anywhere. This was several years ago. I am going to hire her for another shoot for my FI this summer, and I can't wait.
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HIGHLY recommend Rae Leytham!!!
 I did a boudoir session with her and loved it! She and her husband were proessional but also very at ease.  It was in their home and I would very much recommend that!  It made it comfortable and homey and it didn't have to be in a hotel room.  They adjusted the temp to make me comfortable and offered wine and sangria.  (I recommend it to take the edge off the nerves.)  I thought it might be weird with her husband taking the photos but it wasnt at all.  I spent most of the time laughing! 
I gave an album of the photos to my husband on our wedding day "for his eyes only".  I gotta tell you - He is SOO glad I did!!
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If you're interested I'm a photographer who is new to the game myself but, I have done a few boudoir sessions. I'm not sure if your in my area or not. Even thou I hold all rights to my photos if the extra fee isn't paid I still run it by my customers which pictures I want to post... that's just me. But, if you're unsure like it sounds I would pay the extra $200.00.
Here's an example of my most recent sesion.
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Totally recommend Lawrence. He does a great job.
Lawrence LarsenBy:Lawrence Photography630 303-9920http://lwlarsenphoto.comNaperville, Chicago, Peru Il., Costa RicaBoudoir, Glamour, Model and Art Nudes
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My advice is to find out EXACTLY what "rights" means, like mnay others have mentioned, if your photographer has exclusive rights to the images, then they can use them as stockphotos, for book covers, post on the web, in magazines etc...
SO, find out if by "buying" the rights, if you are indeed, preveting them from using your images in this manner, I think most reputable boudoir photographers will now use their clients images except for 1 or 2 tasteful representation of their style on a website,
You may even need to draw up a contract so they DO NOT have rights to use your image!
This should'nt discourage you from getting these shots, because I believe they will be wonderful keepsakes and an amazing gift, but do be careful and ddecide what is best for you!
I am absolutely planning on doing it but I think a lot of bees make good points here. I am not sure if I would book with this photographer if she says she can post them or re-produce them exclusively. I know that I have seen a lot of boudoir pics on blogs and always think "did they give the photographer permission to post them?" I am not a prude but I, too, am in a very professional job and would be worried that my employer or even a family member would see them and judge me (especially my older relatives). This is private to me and my FI and so I would only show those I felt comfortable with and would not want them posted for anyone to stumble across.
I think if they were in a separate portfolio and were password protected on a blog/website I would be okay with that but not just openly posted on the photog's site. Are you sure there aren't any other photographers that would be willing to do this for a comparable price? I think the $400 you mentioned is much too hugh for a boudoir shoot!
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Hi hive,
Am am engaged and getting married in a few months. I have seriously been considering getting b pics done as the groom's present for our wedding. I have searched around and found someone who is willing to take them relatively cheap since she is just starting her photography business and needs pics for her portfolio. In all our chats she seems really nice and willing to work with me. But I read the contract and I am starting to worry. Since I am getting the "model rate" I have no say over how she choses to use the pics - in her portfolio, on her blog, etc. She seems like she would be pretty conservative about what pics she posts, but this will be her first budoir shoot, so i have nothing to compare it to. So I wonder, what would you do , would you take the pics to save money and give her the rights to them or pay the extra ($200) to have exclusive rights to them? Right now I don't think I would be able to afford the more expensive option, so I am torn betwenn getting them done for my fiance (I know he would LOVE them) or just waiting till after the wedding when I can start saving money again.
Thanks for your suggestions.