Post # 1
Ive decided to add this my list of things I do not have time for before I get married & move.
FMIL is obsessed with us starting our marriage with a bedroom set that is new. We need one anyway but I’d rather not have something super matchy. Any tips on how to match without really matching?
Side question is a new bedroom set after marriage always an expectation? This is what I’m being told..
Post # 2
I think maybe if you hadn’t lived together, you would buy something together, or maybe traditionally you’d get a new bedroom set because you’d been living with parents before. For couples living together or even who have separate places I don’t think it’s necessary. We certainly didn’t though. We have the same bed that we had when we moved in together 6 years ago. We’re thinking about updating it now only because it’s old. The rest of the bedroom furniture we bought when we moved in February and won’t be replacing with the bed.
If you don’t want new furniture, don’t worry about it. This is probably one of those crazy mother things.
Post # 3
I’ve never heard of this. It would make sense if you were moving in together from your parent’s houses, but otherwise, it makes more sense to buy furniture when you move into a new home. When we moved in together, we used my bedroom set that I had since it was nicer than his. When we buy a house next year, I’m sure that will move with us. We don’t have the money to buy an all new set right now when the old one is perfectly fine.
Post # 4
Oh I should add we are moving into a new home. We have our respective apartments but my furniture is falling apart (an eclectic mix of IKEA and goodwill) & his is extremely old
Post # 5
megrays : Yeah, I’ve never heard of needing to get a new bedroom set when you get married. When we first moved in together, we just used my bed and mismatched furniture. When we moved into a house we bought a larger bed and have over time accumulated different bedroom furniture. I feel like our bedroom furniture matches without being a matching set, we just have wood furniture with about the same tone of wood. I feel like as long as you have something cohesive about all the pieces, it doesn’t need to be a matching set.
Post # 6
megrays : i think it’s a very old idea – the idea being that you now have your “marital bed” that belongs to just you two.
Post # 7
megrays : Yeah its weird…I have never heard of this but it makes sense if shes the old fashioned type. I agree with you about matching sets. I really dislikes the super matchyness lol. Plus bedroom sets are usually way too much money. I would say your best bet for everything being cohesive without being matchy matchy is sticking with the same color scheme.
Here are a couple articles that help me.
Post # 8
My mom kept insisting we needed a matching bedroom set after we moved into our current apartment. (Not married for another couple months, but same idea.) We realized it’s a long term goal — not matching, exactly, just better quality furniture. But that takes money! So we’re keeping what we have for now, and we’ll upgrade when we can afford it. I’m not sure why people care what you sleep in…not like they have to use it!
Post # 9
We bought a new bedroom set, but not because of any expectation. We were living together prior to marriage, but in a very small apartment. We really had no bedroom furniture. Just a bed and two repurposed night tables. To put it in perspective, our bedroom in the house we bought is almost the same square footage as our entire apartment. So, we decided to upgrade to a king sized bed, and got matching furniture because we bought it all together.
Our other bed is still getting plenty of use as our guest bed, but we replaced the old, falling apart, mismatched night stands for the guest room.
Post # 10
We bought a bedroom set when we moved into our first home. I think the thought of having to get one is a bit old fashioned, like moving from your parents’ home to your own and setting up your marital bed, like a PP said. Also, I think bedroom sets were super expensive, probably some of the most expensive pieces of furniture you would own, so you would buy one when you get married and never buy another one.
You can have mis matched pieces yet still look cohesive. One way to do this is to have matching nightstands but they can be completely different from the main dressers. I see a lot of houses and there’s more mismatched pieces than completely matching sets, and these are in high end homes. I’ve seen a lot of old pieces – like say a very traditionally styled dresser passed down from a grandparent, mixed with something less expensive. Keeping it the same color or wood helps, but I’ve also seen glass and silver nightstands mixed with wood dressers. Anything goes.
Post # 11
Have you thought about an upholstered headboard? That way you can choose nightstands that match without looking like they all together match. Mirrored nightstands are beautiful. Here is how we did mine. Upholstered headboard and two columns with glass tops.
Post # 12
Yes I think it definitely IS an old fashioned sentiment (just as matching sets are kind of an old fashioned aesthetic).
ive seen some fabulous stuff on houzz.com (for tons of money)
😩I am so bad at this lol
Post # 13
- Wedding: March 2017 - Outside in Paris
My sister did this. When I moved in with DH I bought a headboard (he didn’t have one). I was trying to my touch on a home he had owned for a few years.
Post # 14
Honestly, buy the most important thing you need upon move-in first, and take your time shopping around and replacing the rest with pieces you love. Hit up antique shops and maker’s markets where people repaint old furniture for a modern feel, it’s more fun that way! At least, that’s how the designers do it and it’s how Joanna Gaines made her shiplap millions.
Pick a color that you both love, and surround it with complementary neutrals. Google “color scheme designer” and you’ll get loads of resources. For example, if you love purple, pick a muted color that feels soothing, like mauve or lavender. Throw in some neutrals – grey, a stain of wood, off-white, and add in a complement – sage green. Now you’ve narrowed down what color furniture to look for. I also recommend reading up on good bedroom feng shui.. the suggestion to have one of each element in your room sounds kooky at first, but it’s great! I’ve learned not to let too much wood, or metal, or plants dominate a room, you need a balance of all things.
As far as picking pieces of furniture, figure out what you like about your current furniture and where your functional/storage needs are not being met. It may turn out that you love how your IKEA storage bench works for you, you just want an upgrade. You’ll likely want to buy a pair of nightstands, or two different ones in similar sizes to balance each side of the bed. I like an armoire, giant mirror leaned against the wall, and a comfy chair to read/throw clothes on.
Post # 15
I’ve been living with my husband about 5 years now and we still have our old furniture. We have his headboard from his parents house, and the dressers and nightstands are mine from when i was a baby at my parents house (solid oak, never really worn out much). We lived in an apartment, now a townhome, but we probably won’t look for a new set til we get a house in about 2 years, and our current set might go into a guest room. Our current guest room has an upholstered headboard and two nightstands i got online, so that room is more up to date than our own haha. There’s no reason to get a matching set unless you want it. Who cares what other people think unless they want to buy it for you? 😉