Bullies in my office…

posted 3 years ago in Career
Post # 3
Member
163 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

@ZebraPrintMe:  I wish I had a way to help you but I am dealing with a very passive agressive boss at the moment. 🙁 I have started taking notes of what happens if she bullys me and if I ever feel like going to HR (I’m sure I will have to as many previous coworkers have) I have an accurate record of what has happened. 

Post # 4
Member
160 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@ZebraPrintMe:  

@ms-valentine:  I agree with this. Write down everything, every day! If it ever comes to a head – you will have a journal of proof + it is actually quite therapeutic to diarise everything out sometimes. 

Personally I would start “agreeing” with your female colleaugue or figure out what sort of response annoys her the most. The more you snipe back at her, the less she’s likely to do it. 

ie. You’ll be even more surprised in a few years when you’re paying for a divorce”
Option 1: “Shit, I better start saving then”
Option 2: “Ohh are you divorced? Poor thing, now I understand why you’re so bitter.”  
Option 3: #LAUGH HYSTERICALLY IN A FAKE WAY “Oh my goshhhh you’re soooo funny!”  (this one is more likely to freak her out and make her think you’re weird but it may make her want to keep her distance from you, hopefully)

As for your lazy coworker – tell him you can’t do it his way because you got in SOO MUCH trouble from people at the top the last time you did it that way. Lie if you have to. He may not take it well if you tell him he’s wrong, but he’s likely to listen if it comes from someone higher than him?

Post # 5
Member
2562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Wow, sounds like your female collegue is super jealous of you! If someone said things like that to me, I’d replay with things like
“Yeah, it’s funny… I enjoy chocolate all the time, but I never gain weight from it!”
or
I know! Having so much money to spend on myself is really a blessing.”
or
“Was your divorce expensive? I should really find out how much to save just in case it happens, and you seem to be an expert on these things.”

And the other guy? You’re not really doing yourself any favors by taking all the blame (but you know that already). 
I wouldn’t blame in outright, but say “Well, Jeff showed me how to do it his way – can you show me where I went wrong? I would like to learn from these mistakes.”

But I agree with PPs… start writing these things down.
Include the date, time, place… participants and anyone else who was around.
I did this with my downstairs neighbor when she was being such a b-word when we first moved in. I wrote it down, and even though I never reported it, it made me feel more empowered and it felt good to get it off my chest.

Post # 6
Member
32 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@Zebraprintme  I’m going through something similar at my workplace.  Definitely write everything down like they’ve said.  It can be tedious but it may save you in the long wrong.  

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