(Closed) Bumbling, stumbling, wishing, and waiting

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
178 posts
Blushing bee

Ugh, waiting is SO hard.  I don’t know why, but it really is (mine was probably the feelings of rejection).  Eventually, I started reading Why Men Marry B*tches repeatedly and setting small goals for myself to not mention anything, then rewarding myself (like with reeses, a pint of icecream, pedicures, etc).  That really seemed to help.  I suggest clearing out your computers history, getting a good popup blocker then avoiding everything but the waiting boards.  The less and less you think about it the better it gets it just takes some serious practice.  Good luck!!!

Post # 4
Member
2135 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I know, for me it seems like I have been seeing engagements everywhere! I turn on the radio, there is a ring advirtisement, I turn on the TV, there is a commercial for Kays. Waiting is super hard!

Post # 8
Member
124 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

*hugs* I know how that feels. Me and my SO went once to see rings and after that I was cut off. I wasn’t allowed to show him anything I liked and I couldn’t drag him in jewelry stores anymore. It sucked! He told me he wants to do it all his own so I couldn’t do anything but agree and let him do it. It sucks to wait but I hope soon that you’ll be getting engaged and everything will be awesome!

Post # 9
Member
2 posts
Wannabee

Story of my life! All my friends are either already married or engaged. It’s absolute torture. I think the most frustrating part of it all is that we basically ARE married! We’ve been living together for 2 years, we have bills in both of our names, and we know we’re going to get married…so what’s the hold up?! It also frustrates me because as women, I think many of us have our plan set…when we want to get engaged, when we want to have our wedding, and when we want to start having children. I want to get engaged in the fall (when I have a break from school) so that I can get alot of the wedding things planned before starting back in the winter semester. I would like to get married that next fall following my graduation so that we can enjoy a year or 2 just being married before having kids.

My SO also refuses to look at rings with me. He takes the more traditional view that the man should pick out the ring, but I would like him to have an idea of what I like.

so frustrating!

Post # 10
Member
1555 posts
Bumble bee

I have been called Mrs. BF’s last name or his wife on numerous occasions and I act giddy, but it’s still aggravating because I am not at that status yet. But correcting people would just be awkward.

The BF is always willing to go into store and look but it makes me uncomfortable. I hate my hands and I hate expensive things and I don’t want to feel pressured. I guess eventually I will just have to make a decision, but I don’t want to now.

Post # 11
Member
36 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2011

My fiance and I were together for about 5 years before he proposed. I was never in a rush to get married, even though we knew we wanted to and had talked generally talked about rings, engagement, time limes, etc. It wasn’t until two of my coworkers got engaged that I REALLY started getting anxious about it. Even though it was months before we had talked about getting engaged (this was in the winter, and we had talked about getting engaged in spring), I suddenly started stressing about it being MY turn. I suddenly didn’t want to wait until the spring anymore…I wanted to get engaged right then and there! But you know what? It WAS my turn, and he proposed about a month later….months before we had decided we would.

But afterward, even though I was thrilled to be engaged, I realized that the excitement of waiting and the “oh my god it’s coming” feeling is something I won’t get back. In retrospect, it was kind of exciting just to wait with butterflies in my stomach. I know it’s hard, but try to enjoy the excitement of wondering….and don’t fret….your time will come!

Post # 12
Member
667 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I totally understand about bugging him and wanting to go ring shopping with him. We went shopping once 4 months ago but no ring in sight. I also pester a lot about when it will happen but i feel so bad afterwards. I think that doesn’t give him a right to tease you like that either. I think guys don’t realize how much it sucks waiting for them to propose and wouldn’t like it if they had to go through it. I know that proposing is a big deal for them, but making us wait sucks big time. I hope your SO prposes to you soon and ends the torture 🙂

Post # 13
Member
75 posts
Worker bee

Waiting is driving me crazy.  Some days I am so over waiting that I decide I would say no if he asked me anyways.  I’m finding it really soul destroying right now.  We’re the only ones out of everyone we know that aren’t engaged or married and we have been togther the longest.  He doesn’t understand why I get upset about it.  I’m not comfortable living how we are.  I’m practically his house wife (I work full time & have a part time job as well) doing all the cooking cleaning washing etc without being his wife.  Sometimes I feel like he is making me jump through hoops and he tells me I’m making it hard for him to propose because I get upset about not being engaged.

Post # 14
Member
1747 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@ruby13: That’s pretty shitty. You should get a little selfish, girl. You’re not his maid.

Post # 15
Member
75 posts
Worker bee

@LuckyJuls:

Every time I get upset its like I ruin my chances of a proposal in the near future.  I think he doesn’t realise by now I’m a little insecure about not being engaged and that if he just got some balls and did it I might actually lighten up a bit. 

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