Weddingbee boards

Apologies in advance if this is a repost, my laptop is recovering from water damage and is behaving erratically as a result!

As some of you might know, I'm in a long distance relationship with my SO for the past 2 and a bit years. We have always been long distance. I was planning on seeing him this summer, but I'm also planning on applying to med school, so realistically I didn't think it would happen. I told him, and he's fine with it. And in a way, it takes the pressure off us (he was saving up for the trip AND a car, which wasn't easy. Now he only has to save up for a car), and I'm not under so much pressure then.

I am seriously bummed, I wanted to see him, and it means we will go two years without seeing each other (we wont see each other again until summer of 2013) but I think it is for the best. I'm just grateful he's so utterly supportive of me, and it's one of the many reasons why I love him so much. So I'm bummed, but not bummed. 

I'm planning on going to India this summer as well to take part in a medical volunteering scheme. Which I'm so excited about. So things won't be so bad :) I think it's for the best, and it'll prove to my parents as well how serious we are.

What's the longest you've gone without seeing your SO? And how did you feel about it? 

And I've unintentionally just spammed the boards... I'm very very sorry! Urgh... But my questions still stand!

@jocember:  Oh yes, two years. My logic is that we'll both be so busy it'll fly by (and it's not like I'll be sitting on my backside doing nothing, I've been doing on average 6+ hours of university work a day, EXCLUDING lectures). Besides, it'll be an opportunity for me to tone up and lose weight haha

He can now be more flexible with the car he wants to get because he can save up more, so I'm glad about that :) Though I think he was super bummed because he wanted to propose to me this summer (had a feeling about that). But hey, by next summer we'll have been together for three and a half years! 

I'm sure there are some military couples who have gone 18 months-24 months without seeing each other, which is painful...

I'm sorry to hear about your possible upcoming LDRs, they do suck initially. But you find ways to cope :) And they always make a couple that much stronger

I say always, it depends on the couple in question. You've done it before, you can do it again! 

Hmm that is really tough. The first 5 years of my relationship with FI were long distance (I knew him for about 1.5 years before we started dating when we did live in the same area), but we saw each other at least every 2 months. 2 years is crazy long, I know my grandparents must have done it though while the men were away fighting in the war.

@bearlove:  I think it's more common in military couples, just because of the circumstances. Correct me if I'm wrong though 

I know it will be worth it in the end, I can't wait to start med school, and I know he's going to move here for a few years whilst I'm in med school, so we'll be together whilst I get the degree done and my foundation years. And in the long run, two years will be very insignificant

@JsDragonfly:  We only see each other once a year (the first time we went one year after seeing each other for only four days - that was the first time we met in 'person' - online relationshpi, we skyped a lot before and during, and we'd been together for 6 months). 

Two years is doable, I'm sure there are people who have done it. Just who else is my query haha

I can't imagine how it must have felt, him being deployed whilst you were at home. That's a whole new ball game, LDRs in military couples.

@NehaPrasad92:  I spent the entire summer there last year (A good three months). So I'll have those memories to think about :) 

@mmsva:  He's had the same car for almost 8 years now, and it's definitely time for a new one. He was saving up for our trip AND a car by himself, because his parents cannot help him out. He's in college and working a lot too. 

It was my decision not to see each other this summer. I am going to be going to various conferences, I'll be writing articles for journals, I'm going to be working at hospitals and wards, getting work experience. I have to go to India for more work experience and volunteering, in an immunisation scheme or conducting health checks. And I'll be revising for two 5+ hour exams in September alongside everything else. It's the right call for me to have made. He didn't make it, I did. I'm glad he's supporting me and willing to go through this for me. I'm also glad he can now get a better car. 

And it'll be difficult to spend time like that together before we're married. Considering I'll most likely be in med school, he'll be the one coming over here for some time. At least for a few years whilst I sort myself out. And then the question of the visa comes into place, it'd be easier to get a fiance visa than another visa, and just paying for one as opposed to two. 

In a way, I guess this will show my mother and father that we are serious and that he does care about my future. It's not going to be easy, but it can work. I had a feeling he wanted to propose this summer, but there's always next summer :) 

@redheadem:  Well the first time we saw each other, he drove up from TN to FL to visit my family and myself whilst we were on holiday in FL. He stayed for 4 days. This was in... 2010. 

Then I spent the entire summer there in 2011. Literally. Spent ten days back at home from uni and flew out. Flew back in in September. 

Next summer he's planning to come here for a few days, and then I'll hopefully be going there for one or two months. I think it's better this way because we'll both be more relaxed and financiallly ready to have a good time. If I went over this summer, I would be revising and I'd have tried to organise a work experience attachment there. I'm just thankful he understood and is absolutely wonderful, most guys would just say 'screw this I'm out' and quit. 

We're both military so things are a little complicated for us. Last year, I went 8 months before seeing him in September. Then saw him a month later in October. Both of those times it was for 3.5 days. Then saw him for 7 days in December and he proposed the night before my last day there. Now we won't be seeing each other for a year, when we get married. If it's possible, I'm going to try to take midtour leave so we can do a courthouse wedding to start our paperwork with the military and then have the ceremony/reception in a year as currently planned. I'd really like to do the second option, because then hopefully the military will have our orders ready so we can be stationed together right away. If I don't get midtour leave, then after our wedding in a year, it could be up to another year before we're finally together.

It's hard, but we both have our jobs so we stay pretty busy and the time seems to go a little quicker. It sucks to not see them for so long, but keeping busy makes you 'forget' in a way. You still miss them but when you're on the go, you can't really think about it. I definitely feel you. I just think of the quote "the longer the waiting, the sweeter the kiss" and it helps me get by when I'm having a really bad day.

ETA: We haven't hit 2 years yet, but depending on me getting midtour leave, it's pretty probable that we'll end up spending 2013 apart as well. If that's the case, we'll have seen each other probably about 30 days total from January 2011 to an unknown time in 2013.