Post # 1
I just got bad news today, and there’s no one to share it with but you! (and you all give such great advice, too!)
So wayyy back in the day, when Fiance was in the military, he made a big mistake. He got married to a girl that he knew for a few days who was also in the military. She lived in the Bay Area at the time, and he lived in Southern California.
So fast forward to now, we’re trying to get them divorced, so we can get married. Of course he procrastinated until the last minute to get everything taken care of. She is engaged to someone else now too, and they haven’t spoken in years. So Fiance went through all of the motions…got the paperwork done, had her served, and then they had to wait a month of her not responding to have it filed at the court.
His father just filed it at the courthouse this morning, and they told him that the divorce is final 6 months to the day after she was served for it to be final. That teeny detail wasn’t shared with my Fiance.
So that leaves us at July 25th, which is two weeks after our wedding date.
What we’ll have to do is have the wedding, and just not sign a marriage license, and then do a courthouse wedding two weeks later.
I’m just sad that I can’t be officially married on our wedding day.
My uncle is being our officiant, so I’ll just let him know that he doesn’t have to get ordained. He’ll just do the ceremony and we’ll say vows, and then do a courthouse wedding when we get back from the honeymoon.
UGH! Sorry..just had to get it out!!
Post # 4
I’m sorry to hear that! I know it must suck but, you will still be married! Even if the state doesn’t know it yet.
Post # 5
Self edited because what I said was mean and I feel bad.
Post # 6
My wedding planner said this actually happens a lot.
I’m sorry it’s happening to you 🙁
Post # 7
Careful posting this hun, since what your fiance did was basically commit fraud. You don’t want to deal with anymore headaches.
Hopefully something has been learned from this?
Post # 8
That’s a really crappy situation. And why would she not respond if she is engaged to someone else? Just wondering.. Is there no way to move the process along — like get in touch with her and ask her to sign or whatever she needs to do?
It’s very awkward, but it is kind of your FI’s fault. Whatever reasons were behind his waiting so long, they are what is causing this, not anything the courts or anyone else has done. On the bright side… it’s not too far from your wedding date.
Post # 9
That sucks!! But I agree with Ms Hedgehog…you will be married on your wedding day, and 2 weeks later you will sign the piece of paper that says so!
Post # 10
Well…he can spend the next 50+ years making it up to you by celebrating both wedding anniversaries. 🙂
Post # 11
I don’t practice law in OR but I do in WA but I recall that if the marriage is uncontested, that it’s only 90 days after the document has been filed as a default, when she didn’t respond to the summons and petition.
§ 107.065. Waiting period in dissolution suit; waiver
1) Except as provided in ORS 107.095 and in subsection (2) of this section, no trial or hearing on the merits in a suit for the dissolution of a marriage shall be had until after the expiration of 90 days from the date of.
EDIT: It seems that you can do a motion to expedite this if there is good cause shown as well.
You should look into this.
Hope this helps.
Post # 12
@Ms. Sparkles: oh wow I’ll look into this!
ETA: I did fix that wording. I wasn’t sure about the fraud thing. thanks ladies!
@SoontobeMrsA: Really? Like getting ‘actually’ married after the actual date??
Post # 13
@AmeliaBedelia: It’s not that she ‘didn’t respond’..basically in order for there to not be any hiccups in the process, she can’t contest the divorce by responding to the serving of papers. If she doesn’t do anything, everything just moves along.
ETA: This is called an ‘uncontested case’
Post # 14
@Ms. Sparkles: It’s actually filed in CA, which has a 6 month waiting period. We have to wait 10 days for the paperwork to be fully ‘filed’, so he’ll call then to ask them if there’s anything he can do to rush it.
Post # 15
@napabridekelsey: Oh, sorry, thought you were living in OR. If he resides in OR, he should file in OR, not in CA even though the marriage took place there. But then again, I don’t practice in those jurisidiction so I could totally be wrong.
Either way, good luck with everything.
Post # 16
Responding to the papers is usually not “contesting” a divorce. In AZ, a couple can file each of their respective papers (petition and response) and the divorce can be final within 60 days…the couple just needs to do a consent decree (where they agree on division of the marital assets). None of that is considered contested – in fact, it’s the easiest, quickest way to get a divorce.
By not responding, she is maknig it a default divorce, which as far as I know, can drag it out much longer because there are certain time periods that people need to wait out in order for the default to go through (the courts like to give people time to respond to defend themselves). I’d do some research or consult with an attorney in your state for some advice. It might cost you $150, but it would be worth it.
Oh, and I agree with Ms. Sparkles!