Bummed out… Need help!!!

posted 2 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 2
Member
260 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Could you give some more details about why you can’t be married? 

I dont see what’s wrong with wearing rings, having a party and saying a few words about how much you love each other, why, and promise to give your love for the rest of your lives. Who needs a piece of paper anyways! 

Post # 4
Member
1273 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2015 - Chapel on Base

I would think that your disability should not be affected by marriage.  If income is a factor then that does change things.  

Post # 6
Member
180 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Could you do what others have said, organise a nice commitment ceremony, exchange rings and change your name so at least it feels like you’re married?!

Post # 8
Member
249 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

ladii: I know how you feel. My late husband died inthe line of duty and I receive a pension. If I marry again, I lose the pension. That’s one reason why we set the date so far out…to see if we can get a business started to make up for the loss of the pension. FI wants to get married, not have a commitment ceremony, but he understand why I wouldn’t want ot lose the pension money.

 

It’s a tough situation when money comes in the way (sigh).

Post # 9
Member
249 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

MissRustic:  The only thing that bithers me is not being legally married you don’t have the same benefits, like visting in the hospital (in IC), or inheritance. does anyone know legal ways around that?

 

Post # 11
Member
1181 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

If you live together, it doesn’t matter. The state and SSA wants to know everyone who lives in the house and what each persons income is. If you are not living alone and paying your bills by yourself, and instead cohabitate and share bills without telling the state and SSA, technically you are breaking the law. They do this to keep people poor and unable to get ahead. It’s so stupid and I swear it’s a conspiracy to get people under the thumb of the government. Where our country is headed scares me so much. But you asked about a commitment ceremony instead of a wedding, not the fate of our country. You can still get rings and say your vows without signing the papers. 

Post # 12
Member
11466 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It’s an unfortunate situation, but you are going to willfully violate the law to attain benefits that you are not entitled to, if you are cohabitating and/or married.  Can you afford to live with your two salaries without having to take a government subsidy?

Post # 13
Member
237 posts
Helper bee

Hmmmm….I would double check with Social Security. It should be between you an SS, not spouse. I have been at my current job for 13 years so I don’t know how much have changed over the years. But, I too have a disability and no changes or cut were made when I married my ex. It would only stop if I was earning side income on my own part past a certain amount. Being married does not change the effect or status of your disability.

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