Bump in the road or is this it?

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
4879 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

When did things start to change?  Have you been able to sit him down & have a serious heart to heart or does he just blow you off?  Would he be open to counseling?

Honestly, being gone for an entire weekend doesn’t sound good.  Where does he go?

Post # 3
7923 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

If you’re voicing your needs amd he’s still not spending time with you amd investing into the relationship then yeah, I’d say it’s done and I would talk to him about how you thinks it’s done and you should talk about a fair way to seperate,  he’ll either snap out of it, be so scared and it’ll be okay or he’ll say yeah I agree. Sorry bee.

Post # 4
2394 posts
Buzzing bee

goose1707:  I would not be down with spending weekends apart on a regular basis. No, this is not something I would consider a rut or a bump in the road on the way to a happy, healthy marriage. It sounds like you two have grown apart.

However, I’m basing that on what you’ve written, and I know that may not be the total picture of what’s going on.

Based on what you’ve written, though, my advice would be to start making plans to get out of the relationship. 

Just because you’ve been together for a long time does not mean that it was meant to be. I know several (former) couples who lived together for years and ended up splitting before they ever made it to the altar. 

Another thought: It would be easier and less stressful to end it now than to end up divorcing — possibly with kids in the picture — later on.

Best of luck to you with whatever you decide to do, and I’m sorry you’re dealing with this.

Post # 5
2394 posts
Buzzing bee

sassy411:  +1, I also would be wondering where he is going. Is it possible he’s with another woman? 

Even if he isn’t, I would be curious to know what he’s doing all weekend. Maybe it would give clues as to where things went wrong in your relationship. 

Post # 7
2052 posts
Buzzing bee

If you’re suggesting going out and he’s always not wanting to, then I’d be worried.

My FI set up a computer in our living room, so I can sit and watch the shows I like while he can sit and do whatever on his computer. It feels like we’re spending more time together even though we’re technically doing separate activities.

We also have date nights, meaning we get dressed up and go out to a nice dinner and maybe catch a movie or something. More effort gets put into date nights than the usual to go boxes and dvds from the red box lol.

You don’t have to spend every waking minute together, but definitely have a conversation about little things you can do to make you feel like a couple again and not just roommates. 

Post # 8
1313 posts
Bumble bee

You have to talk to him.  Is there stress at work?  Has he been sick?  Family trouble?  dont’ throw it away without talking to him.

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