Post # 1
SO caught me loooking at rings online…I felt terrible as I know he does not have the money right now, but i cant help myself. He told me he would love nothing more then to make me happy and get a ring…and then i felt even more terrible…. very bad waiting day
Has this happened to anyone else?
Post # 3
I’ve had my slipups…of course, never to make SO feel bad. I know the feeling. 🙁
*hugs* Just try to be more careful next time, I guess. 🙁 It wasn’t malicious and I hope he knows that.
Post # 4
My so can’t afford one either…..i’m trying not to talk to bring the subject up to him. i’m driving myself crazy looking at rings and thinking about it. You aren’t alone!!
Post # 5
one of the reasons im glad i dont live with SO. If he only knew how far my ring/wedding browsing went 😡
im sure you didnt mean any harm, take it as a mental note to be more discreet next time.
Post # 6
That stinks 🙁 But seriously, I would not feel overly bad about him seeing you oogling rings online. My SO scours the internet – weekly – for his dream truck. I would love nothing more than to be able to purchase one for him, but sadly, I/nor he has that KIND OF money. I promise him that ONE day – when our kids have graduated college, I will purchase his ‘dream truck!’. Does not mean he needs to stop oogling them online?! No. Does it make me feel bad?! No…it is what it is, right?!
You want a ring, he cannot afford one right now. You guys have agreed that one day you will get your ring…but in the meantime, imo, that does not mean you cannot look at beauties online/in a store, etc!
As another pp stated, it is not a malicious act, or disrespectful, just perhaps a hobby right now for you 🙂
Post # 7
@NickiBee: Ditto! It’s easy for me to hide my wedding related browsing due to not living together.
Post # 8
You’re not alone!
When I was still waiting, FI caught me more than once looking at rings. I always felt bad because at that time he couldn’t afford it, but I just couldn’t resist the sparklies. I wanted to look and dream.
Post # 9
Thanks so much all of you.It good to know I’m not alone, I will definitly have to be more discreet in the future which is hard as we live an a small apartment.
Its just so hard to shut up about it, I need some kind of outlet, which is why im so gald to have found this site!
We had little talk after and he knows im not being malicious…
@LiliKitty: The sparkels are impossible to resist!
Post # 10
I really don’t think this is that bad a thing at all. You obviously weren’t doing it to pressure him. He knows that you know that he can’t afford it right now, so he should realize that you weren’t actually looking to buy, just doing some online window shopping. He knows you want to marry him, so why the shame?
Post # 11
@EffieTrinket: I think it’s more of a not wanting to make him feel bad sort of shame. That’s how it was with me, anyway. I always felt terrible because I knew he couldn’t afford it at the time.
Post # 13
@LiliKitty: You are probably right. Though, if it was me, I’d just find the cheapest ring I could stand and that would hold up to the rigors of everyday life, print off the info, and tell him “I think I just found the perfect ring for me!” You can get an asha solitaire built in a nice size for under $400, and if you’re willing to settle for something that looks a bit more like a band, you can get pretty engagement rings on Amazon in gold and diamonds for under $200.
Then again, I’m almost 30 and have that whole fertility thing hanging over my head. If OP is younger, it might be more worth it to hold out for something more spectacular.
Post # 14
When I was “waiting” I looked at rings ALL the time and this site. My FI would come visit me at work randomly and the way he came in he approached me from the back. So he would walk up and as soon as I saw him I would close the screen quick. He got suspicious of course and I had to show him what I was looking at lol.
Perhaps talk to your SO about getting a stand in ring for now until he can afford a real one?
Post # 15
@EffieTrinket: Im 24 and SO is 25 so while the clock is ticking i guess, im in no rush for babies yet. Also I not ashamed to admit but i have my heart set on a diamond, noting to crazy as im not a fancy person. I have even looked at ones that are in the $700 range that would be fine for me.
@pinkgreenandyellow: Thats pretty much how I got caught, internet was not fast enough to switch to a different page so i just closed the screen. He started laughing, and asked if i was looking at wedding dress (he knows me to well), I told him he was pretty close.
Post # 16
@NickiBee: Haha I hear ya, SO doesn’t know I’m on Wedding Bee and I try to browse on it only at work.
@Bookaholic: Don’t feel too bad, we’re girls and we like to browse online for objects of desire. As long as your SO doesn’t feel pressured or anything because you’re looking – just explain that you want to get an idea of what’s out there in terms of prices, stones, etc. 🙂