(Closed) Busted….a very bad waiting day

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1850 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I’ve had my slipups…of course, never to make SO feel bad. I know the feeling. πŸ™

*hugs* Just try to be more careful next time, I guess. πŸ™ It wasn’t malicious and I hope he knows that.

Post # 4
Member
983 posts
Busy bee

My so can’t afford one either…..i’m trying not to talk to bring the subject up to him.  i’m driving myself crazy looking at rings and thinking about it. You aren’t alone!!

Post # 5
Member
482 posts
Helper bee

one of the reasons im glad i dont live with SO. If he only knew how far my ring/wedding browsing went 😑 

im sure you didnt mean any harm, take it as a mental note to be more discreet next time.

Post # 6
Member
1333 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

That stinks πŸ™  But seriously, I would not feel overly bad about him seeing you oogling rings online.  My SO scours the internet – weekly – for his dream truck.  I would love nothing more than to be able to purchase one for him, but sadly, I/nor he has that KIND OF money.  I promise him that ONE day – when our kids have graduated college, I will purchase his ‘dream truck!’.  Does not mean he needs to stop oogling them online?!  No.  Does it make me feel bad?!  No…it is what it is, right?!

You want a ring, he cannot afford one right now.  You guys have agreed that one day you will get your ring…but in the meantime, imo, that does not mean you cannot look at beauties online/in a store, etc! 

As another pp stated, it is not a malicious act, or disrespectful, just perhaps a hobby right now for you πŸ™‚

Post # 7
Member
544 posts
Busy bee

@NickiBee:  Ditto! It’s easy for me to hide my wedding related browsing due to not living together.

Post # 8
Member
3265 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

You’re not alone!

When I was still waiting, FI caught me more than once looking at rings. I always felt bad because at that time he couldn’t afford it, but I just couldn’t resist the sparklies. I wanted to look and dream.

Post # 10
Member
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

I really don’t think this is that bad a thing at all. You obviously weren’t doing it to pressure him. He knows that you know that he can’t afford it right now, so he should realize that you weren’t actually looking to buy, just doing some online window shopping. He knows you want to marry him, so why the shame?

Post # 11
Member
3265 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@EffieTrinket:  I think it’s more of a not wanting to make him feel bad sort of shame. That’s how it was with me, anyway. I always felt terrible because I knew he couldn’t afford it at the time.

Post # 13
Member
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

@LiliKitty:  You are probably right. Though, if it was me, I’d just find the cheapest ring I could stand and that would hold up to the rigors of everyday life, print off the info, and tell him “I think I just found the perfect ring for me!” You can get an asha solitaire built in a nice size for under $400, and if you’re willing to settle for something that looks a bit more like a band, you can get pretty engagement rings on Amazon in gold and diamonds for under $200.

Then again, I’m almost 30 and have that whole fertility thing hanging over my head. If OP is younger, it might be more worth it to hold out for something more spectacular.

 

Post # 14
Member
1086 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

When I was “waiting” I looked at rings ALL the time and this site. My FI would come visit me at work randomly and the way he came in he approached me from the back. So he would walk up and as soon as I saw him I would close the screen quick. He got suspicious of course and I had to show him what I was looking at lol.

Perhaps talk to your SO about getting a stand in ring for now until he can afford a real one?

Post # 16
Member
1474 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

@NickiBee:  Haha I hear ya, SO doesn’t know I’m on Wedding Bee and I try to browse on it only at work. 

@Bookaholic:  Don’t feel too bad, we’re girls and we like to browse online for objects of desire.  As long as your SO doesn’t feel pressured or anything because you’re looking – just explain that you want to get an idea of what’s out there in terms of prices, stones, etc. πŸ™‚

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