But his GF or BF is soooo awkward…

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Would you invite the person with the awkward +1?
    Sure, I can chat it up with anyone. : (113 votes)
    90 %
    Uh, no. Weddings are social events and they shouldn't make other people feel uncomfortable. : (3 votes)
    2 %
    I'm just here for the cake. : (9 votes)
    7 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    9231 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @TaurianDoll:   I probably would invite a socially awkward person who was the SO of one of my friends, out of consideration for the friend.  However, I only would if the person is not the type to get trashed and start becoming belligerent or insulting the other wedding guests.  Someone just being a little shy or socially inadequate wouldn’t bother me, though.

    Post # 4
    Member
    716 posts
    Busy bee

    If they’re engaged or living together, they are a social unit.  It would be rude to invite only the one.

    Also, unless you’re having a very small wedding, you probably won’t spend much time with the person.  If the person is good enough of an aquintance to invite, then you probably don’t want to sour things by not inviting their SO.

    But it depends on your budget, capacity, and +1 decisions for the wedding.

    Post # 5
    Member
    945 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2014 - Savannah, GA

    I think it would be incredibly rude to not invite someone just because they aren’t as outgoing. 

    Post # 6
    Hostess
    22135 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I would still invite with a +1. If the person is only an acquaintance, I’m not likely to spend much time with them on my wedding day anyway. I spent most of my day with my husband, bridal party, and parents. Obviously, I mingled with my guests but couldn’t spend quality time with every single one.

    I think allowing +1s is more about your guests’ comfort than your own.

    Post # 7
    Member
    2675 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI

    I would still invite them, there will be plenty of people there for you to talk to! Not like you would be spending all night at a table with just one other couple where it would get awkward fast. It’s nice for the invited person to be able to bring their SO.

    The only person I am worried about this with is my best friend’s husband. She is also one of my bridesmaids but her husband is so awkward, possessive, and paranoid. I do worry about it being an issue. At their own wedding he got jealous of her just talking to his best man! He also was arrested for bringing loaded weapons into a hospital while visiting her there. I don’t even know what to make of that…his excuse was he felt it was a dangerous place. It’s located in a very nice and very affluent neighborhood! I feel obligated to invite him but I kind of hope he declines. He has never said more than like a sentence to me in all the three years I have known him! Even when the three of us would go out to dinner together. My other concern is he will make her leave the wedding super early or something.

     

    Post # 8
    Member
    857 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    @TaurianDoll:  I’m not inviting any Anti-Dentite’s.. HAHA sorry I couldnt resist!

     

    Post # 11
    Member
    968 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    People who are likely to become drunk and obnoxious are one thing; “awkward” people are another. They’ve probably been excluded and made fun of most of their lives. To not invite them because of that is incredibly rude and mean.

    Post # 13
    Member
    3735 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @TaurianDoll:  Do you think the guest will come if you don’t give them a +1? Awkward people are… well, super awkward. However, if you want the acquaintance to come, I’d extend a +1.

    Post # 14
    Member
    2642 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @dancindavinci:  +1

     @TaurianDoll:  Sorry, but I find the idea that you wouldn’t invite someone because they are socially awkward extremely insulting and offensive.  Remember, you invite SO’s as a courtesy to your guests so that they may be comfortable and fully enjoy your wedding.  You don’t do it for your benefit or for the benefit of other guests not associated with the awkward person.

    Plus, how do you draw the line?  Sure, this awkward person might make other’s uncomfortable, but so might a really drunk person or a girl who wears a tiny dress that barely covers everything or people grinding on the dance floor or that crazy aunt who just won’t shut up.

    Post # 16
    Member
    2642 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @TaurianDoll:  I’m an engineer, so I deal with a lot of socially awkard people.  I really don’t think it’s an issue for one to be at a wedding.  They will most likely just listen to the conversations and not contribute much.  The other thing one could do is make sure that couple is seated either with someone who is very outgoing with people who have similar interests.  Socially awkward people can be very interesting, you just have to be patient and know how to talk to them.

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