Post # 1
So I know I’m going to sound like a brat but I can’t help it. We are having a very inexpense wedding this Saturday. My family and my Fiance family are helping out a ton and we are paying for the rest. Well my Fiance parents want to buy things for us to help us out but they are wanting to get us stuff we don’t need. For example we still need to pay for flowers and food and the DJ and my fils are buying us a very expensive cake cutting knife and champagne glasses with our initials in them. They are probably spending over a hundred dollars. I am not into sentimental knick nacks our house is cluttered as it is. I hate to say this but I would rather them just offer to pay for something we really need. We already have a cake cutting knife but apparently we need one with our initials carved in to it and we aren’t even having champagne at the wedding. I know its super sweet of them to get us this stuff but I would rather them put that money to a DJ etc…my Fiance will not ask them to put the money to other stuff BC he doesn’t want to hurt there feelings…am I alone here? I’m I just being a whinny brat? Or is there a polite way to ask them to pay for something else? I am very grateful for everything they are doing and my Future Mother-In-Law asks me everyday “what can I pay for?” and I never answer BC I feel like its not my place To suggest these things. So should I just suck it up or say something?
Post # 3
oh that’s super annoying. personally, i’ve never gotten the engraved toasting flutes/cake cutter phenomena- especially because i, like you, think it is a needless expense. i don’t know how you could graciously decline, though. maybe let Fiance handle this one?
Post # 4
If they haven’t bought the set, you can tell them. If not, suck it up. They’d feel incredibly hurt if you don’t like their gift and you’d rather have money. I do feel your frustration though.
Post # 5
I would just suck it up. If it’s important to them that you have it (which it must be since they’re spending so much), I wouldn’t want to hurt their feelings.
Post # 6
I know it’s not your personal taste, but I think you could be hurting your Father-In-Law feelings if you ask for something else. If it were me, I’d just smile and say thank you.
Post # 7
How frustrating! However, if Future Mother-In-Law is asking you point blank what they can help with, I’d be honest. I’d say “We appreciate everything you have done so far. If you want to help with something else, we still owe X amount on our flowers and the DJ. Are you interested in helping out with either of those?” Chances are they do want to really help, maybe they just aren’t sure what you need.
Post # 8
I would just tell them again that you already have one and that you “LOVE” it. I don’t know how to ask them to pay for something else though. Maybe if you just said something like we are getting close to the end and money is getting close….we still have so much to pay for. Do you think they might then say oh what can we help with and you could suggest something?
Post # 9
The cake cutter is a gift. Accept it graciously. It sounds like your future in laws are excited to have you join the family! As far as her asking what she can pay for, I say be honest. You can tell her the expenses you still need covered but explain that you in no way expect them to cover these but that if they really want to help those are the areas you still have to cover. I think your future in laws just want you to have a wonderful wedding and help put you in the best situation to start your marriage.
Post # 10
Since she’s asking what she can pay for, tell her!