Post # 1
So my FI and I went to a mortgage specialist this week and basically wanted to see where we needed to be financially in order to purchase a home. We got the numbers back and realistically we could be there in less than a year. Six months even, to be honest. My FI is over the moon happy, since he wants to move out of our apartment as much as I do. The only problem is, I don’t want a mortgage with him before we’re legally married. It’s not that I don’t trust him, it’s not that I think he’ll magically change his mind about marrying me. But the idea of being on a mortgage with him with my maiden name makes me cringe. A home is a long term investment, just like marriage to me. And I really don’t want to get one until we’re married. I also don’t want to have to go through the hassle of changing my last name on the deed when we are a little under a year and a half away from our wedding.
I told him all this, and the fact that I know this year is gonna be crazy hectic with the wedding being sooner rather than later. But he doesn’t get it. All he sees is us achieving our dream of owning a home together and getting out of our apartment. And I want all of that, just after the wedding. Anyone else feel like this? Or am I just being crazy.
Post # 3
We closed on our house three months after getting engaged, because the price was right and mortgage rates were extremely low. Since FI is going to change his name after we get married, we asked our realtor if we would need to change FI’s name on the deed, and our realtor said no; he said we could down the line, if we decided to refinance, but it wouldn’t be necessary right after we got married.
Post # 4
You’re not crazy. This decision has legal consequences and it’s not as though you’re getting married next week! Wait.
Post # 5
- Wedding: June 2012 - Pippin Hill Farm & Vineyards
I honestly think this should be a decision about where the market is in your area. Partners buy homes all the time and the home can be in both of your names. Make the decision based on the market. Will buying now give you more house? Do the experts (real local real estate blogs) think the market will turn for the better or worse?
Post # 7
@Rosybee: Another +1. Well said.
Post # 8
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with waiting. And of course the longer you wait the more time you have to save.
Post # 9
Oh god, after…do it after. The home buying process was/is so stressful. We close in about a week…but it’s been a crazy train leading up to this day LOL I cannot imagine doing it while planning my wedding. I’d have lost what few marbles I had left.
Post # 10
@Tarheelgurl: We bought our home almost three years before our wedding, as joint tenants with rights of surviorship. If you do want to get a home before your legal wedding, definitely look into the legal aspects of what would happen if you break up. I am very happy that we got into our home before our wedding. We chose to get ready in our home and do our first look in the front yard. It was great. While our wedding was extremely special, it was only one day and we’ve been able to enjoy hundreds of wonderful days in our home! I haven’t changed my name yet, it’s not that important to me.
Post # 11
everyone’s experience with home buying is different. while another bee said her experience was crazy stressful, ours was painless and easy. my SO and i are not yet engaged, but bought our home 6 months ago. if we would have waited longer, i highly doubt we would have found a great deal like we did.
if waiting until marriage makes you most comfortable, you should totally wait. but like others said, the real estate market fluctuates a lot. that, along with interest rates should also be a factor in your decision!
Post # 13
@Tarheelgurl: you don’t have to change your name on the deed if you do buy it before hand. As long as you have your marriage license and your birth certificate you can leave it In Your maiden name. If that helps.
But to answer your question, we are buying it before. Looking now.