(Closed) "Buy what I want or save for your ring?"

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
5428 posts
Bee Keeper

My former FI (26 years ago) asked me on Valentine’s day… Do you want skates or an engagement ring? I was pregnant at the time, so I said e-ring, what are you going to do with skates when pregnant?…. I never did marry him.

Post # 4
Member
97 posts
Worker bee

Aw, I know that sucks!

Honestly, he might not have meant to put you in that position. Men sometimes don’t understand how the things they say can impact their women– and their answers. I would have said to go ahead and buy the headphones. It shows that you don’t need the ring and are not one of those “psuhy” women. He should quickly learn that you care for his happiness above your own and that he needs to rethink his priorities and maybe do the same.

Good luck and keep us posted!

Post # 6
Member
831 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Men are stupid sometimes. Really, what good could come of asking you that question? 

My response would have been “It’s your money, you need to decide yourself what is the most important thing to spend it on”.  Period. I would NOT have told him to buy the headphones, nor would I have TOLD him to buy a ring. It’s his decision.

His actions would dictate my next move.

 

 

Post # 7
Member
2414 posts
Buzzing bee

@kimm99:  

 

His actions would dictate my next move.

 

Haha! Me too!

Post # 8
Member
287 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@kimm99: yes, exactly what i would have said.

Post # 9
Member
6745 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

My FI and I sacrafice so much of what we want for the other person.. and since he does it on a regular basis, I know he’d sacrafice the headphones for the ring, but if he asked, I’d tell him to get the headphones.  The ring will come in time, but you don’t always get to buy what you want.. and, it was his medical bills he was getting reimbursed for, right?

I understand where you’re coming from though – it’s like he asked only so he wouldn’t feel guilty about buying what he wants. 

Post # 10
Member
2750 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Boys are dumb. XD

Post # 11
Member
569 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Yes….Before we got engaged my fiance and I had a similar discussion, only it was a camera he’d been obsessing about since I met him almost 4 years ago.  The camera was on sale for a really great price…and he knew i was desperately wanting to get engaged.  He asked me what he should do.  I felt awful saying don’t buy the camera, so I didn’t.  I told him he never splurges on himself, so go ahead and buy the camera if he really wants it.  So he did, but I KNOW he felt super guilty about it.  That was in September….and we got engaged in December!  Sometimes it’s best to just swallow what you realllly want to say, and things just work out the way they should.  Good luck!

Post # 12
Member
3297 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - An amazing non-profit retreat

I drew the line at snowmobile. He was talking about a snowmobile (it doesn’t exactly snow here) and I…got mad. Oh yes, I did.

Post # 13
Member
646 posts
Busy bee

SO is up for about 5k if he wins his fantasy baseball season. If that 5k doesnt go into my ring fund, Im gonna throw a fit!!!

Post # 14
Member
2009 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Oh yikes.

Im sorry he had a hopefully momentary lapse in judgement.

 

Post # 15
Hostess
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

That’s weird…it sounds like he wanted to buy the headphones but didn’t want you to be mad. Tell us what he ends up doing.

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