Post # 1
Last night, my SO found out that he is getting reimbursed by his job for some medical bills he had a while ago. I know how much he’s been wanting these gaming headphones but didn’t have the money for them. So he straight up asked me, “Should I use the money to buy the headphones or save it for your ring? What would you do?”
…Um, seriously? If I said, “Save for my ring,” I’m the selfish bitch who won’t let him get what he wants. If I said, “Buy the headphones,” he gets what he wants without feeling guilty about making me wait because hey, I said it was okay.
I told him that it’s his money and I wasn’t going to tell him what to do with it.
I know we talk about everything, but I kind of wish he would have kept this little dilemma to himself.
Post # 3
My former FI (26 years ago) asked me on Valentine’s day… Do you want skates or an engagement ring? I was pregnant at the time, so I said e-ring, what are you going to do with skates when pregnant?…. I never did marry him.
Post # 4
Aw, I know that sucks!
Honestly, he might not have meant to put you in that position. Men sometimes don’t understand how the things they say can impact their women– and their answers. I would have said to go ahead and buy the headphones. It shows that you don’t need the ring and are not one of those “psuhy” women. He should quickly learn that you care for his happiness above your own and that he needs to rethink his priorities and maybe do the same.
Good luck and keep us posted!
Post # 5
@EvenAngelsFall: Thanks. I did end up telling him that I wouldn’t be mad if he bought the headphones because I know how much he wants them.
Post # 6
Men are stupid sometimes. Really, what good could come of asking you that question?
My response would have been “It’s your money, you need to decide yourself what is the most important thing to spend it on”. Period. I would NOT have told him to buy the headphones, nor would I have TOLD him to buy a ring. It’s his decision.
His actions would dictate my next move.
Post # 7
His actions would dictate my next move.
Haha! Me too!
Post # 8
@kimm99: yes, exactly what i would have said.
Post # 9
My FI and I sacrafice so much of what we want for the other person.. and since he does it on a regular basis, I know he’d sacrafice the headphones for the ring, but if he asked, I’d tell him to get the headphones. The ring will come in time, but you don’t always get to buy what you want.. and, it was his medical bills he was getting reimbursed for, right?
I understand where you’re coming from though – it’s like he asked only so he wouldn’t feel guilty about buying what he wants.
Post # 11
Yes….Before we got engaged my fiance and I had a similar discussion, only it was a camera he’d been obsessing about since I met him almost 4 years ago. The camera was on sale for a really great price…and he knew i was desperately wanting to get engaged. He asked me what he should do. I felt awful saying don’t buy the camera, so I didn’t. I told him he never splurges on himself, so go ahead and buy the camera if he really wants it. So he did, but I KNOW he felt super guilty about it. That was in September….and we got engaged in December! Sometimes it’s best to just swallow what you realllly want to say, and things just work out the way they should. Good luck!
Post # 12
- Wedding: August 2013 - An amazing non-profit retreat
I drew the line at snowmobile. He was talking about a snowmobile (it doesn’t exactly snow here) and I…got mad. Oh yes, I did.
Post # 13
SO is up for about 5k if he wins his fantasy baseball season. If that 5k doesnt go into my ring fund, Im gonna throw a fit!!!
Post # 14
Im sorry he had a hopefully momentary lapse in judgement.
Post # 15
That’s weird…it sounds like he wanted to buy the headphones but didn’t want you to be mad. Tell us what he ends up doing.
Post # 16
@AlwaysSunny: I suspect that he will probably end up putting it towards my ring. If he does that, then I will buy him the headphones 🙂