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So I sold my Jim Hjelm on Monday. I sent her the paypal invoice, which she promptly paid. She used an e-check, so I have been waiting to ship the gown until it clears. Paypal estimates this should take until around April 20th, but for all intents and purposes, the sale is complete.
She just emailed me today that they received health news and are changing their wedding plans. She has requested that I cancel the invoice.
I included on the invoice that the sale is final. I feel like this is very unfair to me -- if I were a salon, she would not have this option. I need to sell this dress, and I really want to tell her no. I feel bad about her situation, whatever the details may be, but that doesn't make it fair to me.
What would you do?
@Amaryllis: I personally would tell her the sale is final. She can re-sell it herself, if she is having money/health problems!
Do you have a backup buyer? If you don't think you could sell it as fast then tell her its business and you need the money too. It could bite you in the end if she refuses it or tries to cause trouble in this transaction stage. I think she's expecting you to let her off the hook and understand. I would be upset too if I were you.
@Amaryllis: Gah! That's so hard. How long did she correspond with you about the dress beforehand? I would like to say I would be strong and stick to my guns, but honestly, I'd probably cave and give her a refund. Even though it would make me angry. Very, very angry.
But the more I think of it, the more it makes me upset for you. SO even though they moved the wedding she suddenly doesn't want that dress anymore?
What the heck?
If it was clear from the beginning that the sale was final, I think you're completely within your rights to keep it that way.
How much did you sell the dress for? I know it really shouldn't matter - and you certainly have the right to hold her to the deal - but the higher the price, the more likely I would be to let her out of it to avoid feeling guilty about it. (I'm just a softie/sucker/whatever ...)
Explain your all sales final return policy, you are right in saying if this was a salon she'd have to suck it up. She already paid and you may have lost out on another sale because of it. If you absolutely feel you need to return the money at least keep a portion of it as a fee for losing out on possible sales. If I were you I wouldn't return it though.
Tell her you have health problems and have already put the money towards your medical bills. Sale was final. She's probably lying and changed her mind.
I'd politely let her know that, unfortunately, you cannot cancel the invoice and remind her that you specifically indicated that the sale was final.
She may opt to cancel her e-check or stop payment, but she can't force you to give her the money back.
If her plans have changed she can always re-sell the dress for what she paid to recoup her loss. Two dress brides do it all the time.
I agree. She knew the sale was final when she agreed to buy it and then it is up to her to resell it or whatever.
Since you'd already told her before that the sale is final, I wouldn't back out now. Tell her again the sale is FINAL and she can resell it herself if she really needs the money.
Also, it may just be me being a cynical bitch, but I wouldn't be believing her "health news" story if it were me. I'd be thinking maybe she just found a different dress she wants and since the sale was final, she's making excuses to get out of buying the dress from you.
@sweetiejewels: That is a concern. She lives in Canada, and I do not want to deal with that.
@Mrs.tobe: She told me she'd buy it and we emailed a few times, but she contacted me and purchased it on the same day. My first thought was just that she has buyers remorse!
@Gingersnap:you're probably so right.
I would be fuming!
Seems like the more you think about the situation, the more angry you get...
Personally.. I would give her a refund.. I would feel guilty not giving it to her as I know how things come up during weddings etc. Hopefully she is telling the truth!
@Amaryllis: Tell her all sales final. It's her baby now. She knew it when she paid you.
I think you should not do the refund. I know she said she has health issues but you dont know if this is true or she just found the dress at a better price somewhere else. If she does have health issues nothing is stopping her from selling the dress herself.
Agh, replies came in so fast I don't think I can keep up! But yeah, I agree with what a lot of you are saying -- it sounds like buyers remorse. She found it through weddingbee classifieds, so she may even eventually see this post, which is fine with me. What it comes down to is that she knew the sale was final up front.
And yes, I have turned other inquiries away over the last few days telling them that the dress is sold already.
@NotYourTypicalBride: $1200+shipping
Indeed, the longer one thinks about it, the angrier one gets. I am having a crummy day anyway (sent my sister pics of me trying on a dress I thought was a real candidate and she said the beading makes me look like I have a bubble butt... gee, thanks) so now I am just really, really irritated.
I too wonder if she is just an indecisive bride with regret. How does such a thing come up so suddenly.
I would like to hear from the voters who said I should give her the refund. Talk me into it because I do definitely feel bad about sticking her, but I'm having a really hard time seeing her side, especially since I have already had to resell dresses that didn't work out. I didn't go whining back for a refund.
@Amaryllis: Uhhh we get free health care up here. It's what we pay all those taxes for... Me thinks she's lying?
I am so torn. My natural instinct would be to be nice and give the refund, but my pessimistic side says it's awfully convenient that "health problems" cropped up the day after she sent you a $1200 check for a dress. I guess in the end, I'd probably feel bad about it, but tell her I'm sorry and sales are final and I turned other potential buyers away once she showed serious interest in it and sent a payment.
It doesn't really matter WHY she doesn't want the dress anymore. Thinking about that just confuses things.
The point is, she knew it was a final sale item and then bought it. Et fin.
If it assuages your conscience, you can always forward her the contact info for the inquiries you received after she made her purchase.
I got the impression it was more like "Health problems came up, we're CANCELING the wedding," but your point does make it sound very suspicious.
Don't do it - and don't let 'guilt' take over either!!! She bought the dress knowing full well what the terms were, and regardless if she 'needs the money', that's not your problem. Sorry if I sound like a stone cold bitch but we're going through this right now with a property we own - the tenant doesn't want to/can't pay the rent because of 'health issues'. This is not your burden to bear... and who knows if/when you'll get another opportunity to sell your dress. Be strong!
The only advice I would give (as a regular Ebay seller who deals with Paypal on a regular basis). With Paypal, the buyer is almost always right - Paypal almost always sides with the buyer. I tell you this because ...
#1 - you have to provide shipping confirmation or else the buyer could say she never received the dress (and you would have to prove that she did). Because the dress sold for the amount it did, you are also required to send it with SIGNED proof of delivery. This can be expensive to ship to Canada using this shipping method.
#2 - if you upset the buyer, she can cause problems for you once she receives the dress. She can say the dress isn't as you described and try to get a refund that way (although she will be responsible for paying the return shipping). BUT if she's really mad, she may ruin the dress or do something to make it lose it's value, thus returning to you a useless item. You would then have to prove it to Paypal, which (trust me) is hard to do. Once she provides tracking information to Paypal, showing that she returned the dress, she gets her money back (even though you may receive something else back in the mail altogether).
I've been scammed by many a buyer on Ebay and have learned a tough lesson more than once. If you think you can sell it to another bride, I would let her off the hook. NOT because it's the right thing to do, but because you may save yourself some major stress and drama if you do.
If you do go throug with the transaction, 100% make sure you send it via a trackable method with SIGNATURE confirmation.
@Amaryllis: I didn't actually vote that you should give it back, for the record. :) Just that I would feel guilty myself. But many PPs make valid points that she may just have remorse and be using "health problems" as an excuse. So here's one possible approach:
1- Tell her that you are willing to break your "final sale" policy because you feel bad about her situation, but because you turned away other buyers and may not be able to sell the dress again, you will refund only PART of the money (you keep maybe $400-$500). If it really is buyer's remorse, she may decide to keep the dress and resell it herself in that case.
2 - Immediately contact the other potential buyers and re-offer them the dress. Who knows - maybe you'll end up with more than the $1200.
Or you could just say, "Sorry! Final sale." :)
@ohheavenlyday: She just said that significant health info changed their wedding plans for this year. Sounds like it might be postponed, but the health issues really shouldn't have anything to do with not wanting the dress. Lots of brides postpone weddings and don't get rid of their dresses, or they sell them.
Thank you, bees. My first instinct was to not do the refund, but I was worried that I was just angry and being unreasonable.
I would politely let her know that the sale is final and hopefully she will be able to find a buyer for the dress. I think it's probably buyer's remorse but you shouldn't have to suffer because of it.
The caring side of me would refund her money, but especially since you told her that all sales are final, I wouldn't refund it. If you didn't have that clause in there, it would be a different story.
@milesbella: THANK YOU! Those are my fears, but I am not sure what she'd even do. That is helpful to hear. I was thinking about these kinds of things, and my thought was to take a newspaper to the UPS store with me and take a picture of the dress in its condition with the newspaper at the UPS store. That way there is no question as to the condition of the dress when I sent it, and if she were to dispute its condition, I could offer that as proof that it was fine before I sent it to her? Also, do you think I could pre-emptively contact Pay-pal to make them aware of the situation so that it definitely would look more suspicious if she were to make such a claim?
all sales final. i'd wait for the check to clear before responding and telling her just that.
ETA: totally support the newspaper @ UPS idea.
This is why I am not a business person.
However, the sale is final- if you stated that, that is just the way it is. Sucks for her, but you made a business transaction and the case is closed.
Yes, AND turn on the datestamp setting on your camera for added proof.
I'm an ebay seller as well, and all my sales are final too, but I have made exceptions, as I don't want to deal with negative feedback (or PayPal issues).
Remember - with PayPal, the buyer is always right, or so it seems. Even if you said all sales final, she could turn and make up a problem with the dress once received. I've just learned that it's easier to try and resell something, then have a potentional loss of money and product, due to a crappy buyer.
If you do decide to go through with this, use FedEx or UPS, signature required. Take pictures of the dress while you are packing it, showing that it's either flawless, or the minor imprefections it may have. Make sure they are time/date stamped as well (putting that days newspaper helps sometimes). You want to do everything you can as a seller to make sure she can't come back to bite you.
If this was me, I'd walk away from the sale. It's not worth the possibility of a headache.
@Amaryllis: At this point, since it was an Echeck, I would just wait and see what happens. If you don't reply to her, she may panic and transfer the money out of her account so that the Echeck will bounce. Or the Echeck may bounce on its own (depending on the circumstances).
Definitely sounds like buyer's remorse, or someone who got in over their head over excitement (and then realized they couldn't afford it).
If the Echeck does go through, definitely cover your butt with photos and show someone at the UPS Store the contents prior to packaging it up (get their name too - you can't have enough information if it ends up you're fighting a Paypal claim). Again, be sure to get SIGNATURE confirmation upon delivery. Lastly, don't spend the money right away - the buyer has 60 days to file a claim and the last thing you want to do is withdraw the money and spend it, and then have Paypal put a freeze on your account.
GOOD LUCK! Let us know how it turns out!
Okay my input for voting that you should give her the refund is that she doesn't want the dress, and you didn't indicate that you had any trouble selling it (unless I missed that). You even point out that you've turned several other buyers away. So... it sounds like you wouldn't have any trouble selling it to someone who actually wants the dress. Just as a kharma thing, personally I would let her out of the sale.
Id be on alert. She knew the sale was final and paid. Hold the dress until funds clear and then mail it out. Watch your bank account for any fradulant activity.
@gcwest: Well, since you brought it up -- I've replied to about 20 people regarding this dress, and she is the first and only one to make a legitimate offer. I've had three people offer $600. Others fade away. Only one person was polite enough to reply thanking me for my time but declining the dress. It takes time and effort to sell a dress, so it has been really stressful. And I need to sell it so I can buy something to actually wear at my wedding, which gets closer every day. I have had inquiries, but I can't say I've had buyers, really.
@milesbella: I think I am going to just wait at this point. But I took down the "sale pending" tag from the listing. Who knows how many people didn't even bother inquiring when they saw that? She really is screwing me over.
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