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Hi all!
I need help and figured this was the best place to turn.
I bought my dress this weekend on a trip to New York. I wasn't expecting to...I just figured I would try on some dresses and then take some time to think it over since it is such an important purchase. No such luck! I had my mom, sister and grandmother with me and they really pushed me into the purchase. The whole experience is really a blur. All I know is that I tried on 10-15 dresses...all but 1 were available in a plus size sample. Go figure that the one I purchased was the one that was a bridal size 10 when I am a street size 16. I had only planned on trying on dresses that had plus size samples in order to avoid the dilemma I am now facing, but we saw a much smaller bride in this dress across the salon and my family insisted that I try it on. With this being a beautiful dress, I hesitantly agreed. All of the other dresses were OK, but my family said that when I came out of the dressing room with this one on, it had my name all over it...the consultant said it was "magical" on me. See below for a pic of me squeezing into the dress that I purchased (the squeezing comment being emphasized by me demonstrating how the dress has pockets)...
Yes, it is a beautiful dress. But I'm not sure I love it...yet. My mom and grandmother cried...but I didn't get a "this is it" feeling...which I've heard is pretty normal. It was only when I got home from my trip from the bridal salon, and had already purchased the dress, that I realized I had no idea what the back of the dress even looked like, since it clearly didn't zip up! (for anyone interested...here is the site to the dress to see the back http://www.jlmcouture.com/Jim-Hjelm-Blush/Bridal/Spring/2011/Style-1103)
Basically, I am confused. Part of me thinks I am having a bit of buyer's remorse because I didn't shop around enough. Part of me thinks that I am having a hard time with this because I didn't get to see what the dress is actually going to look like when it fits correctly. Part of me thinks I may have just bought the wrong dress all together.
People say that once you buy your dress, you need to stop looking. But all I have been doing is looking at other dresses since my trip to New York this weekend. Is this normal? Has anyone else had a similar experience after purchasing a dress when they didn't have the correct sample size to try on?
Does the dress above even look remotely OK? Should I keep looking? Should I try on more dresses to reassure myself that I made the right choice? Should I just accept that I may end up being a two dress bride?!
Help! I just need some reassurance that some others here have been in a similar position of uncertainty, and that in the end, it turned out OK...and if that is not the case, what should I do to alleviate these concerns!!
Thanks!
Wow! That dress is beautiful and I think it will be VERY flattering on you in your size!!! Stop stressing. :-)
I agree I think it will be super flattering once its in your size.
I also love that it has a little bit-o-sass.
I am also a plus size bride, let me tell you almost all the dresses I tried on I couldn't get the dress zipped up all the way or not at all. I am a street size 22/24. Even the dress I chose I have no idea what the back will look like on me, all I have is the picture from the actual dress maker's web site. Only good thing is my dress is being custom fit so there shouldn't be to much for alterations going on.
I think it's beautiful on you!! Once you get it tailored and fit to your size, it's going to be even more gorgeous. Don't stress, you look amazing. :)
I think you look awesome! =) Be confident! and stop looking! hehe!
I wish I could show you the pic of the "sample" I tried on, fell in love with, and cried in! lol It was about 5 sizes too small! When I saw it compared to how it fits now, I about DIED! lol I am so happy with my decision though! I am sure you will be with yours too!
That gown definately does not fit you; however, I can see the vision that your mother and your grandmother saw. I can safely say that you will look beautiful in it, once you get the correct size. This gown does look like it was made for you. I know that is hard for you to think right now, but I am sure once it arrives in your size and you get to try it on, you will see what everyone else saw; a glowing bride to be :-)
I think it's a fantastic dress and looks really good on you, even if the size isn't right!
Don't worry about the feelings though - I think it can be a normal reaction after getting a dress. I remember after the initial feelings of "yes!!! I got my dress!!" I started having doubts and worries (because I had the opposite problem of the samples being too big and the extra material was very misleading) and was a bit sad about the whole dress shopping experience being over.
Remember there was a good reason you bought the dress, and as many people here say it looks great on you, it must be the right one :)
Thank you so much, ladies! =) Your words have made me feel a lot better already.
It's a beautiful dress! I know it's hard buying a dress without seeing it perfectly fitted to you - but the style/shape won't change that much, and it looks stunning. :)
@aat108: it's gorgeous and once you can confidently zip up the back you'll see it, too! I have the same problem - I'm a street size 14/16 and just not good at 'picturing' myself in things very well... which sucks when so very many of the stores only seem to have smaller samples to try.
I can't wait to see updates when it comes in - stunning!
@aat108: it's gorgeous and once you can confidently zip up the back you'll see it, too! I have the same problem - I'm a street size 14/16 and just not good at 'picturing' myself in things very well... which sucks when so very many of the stores only seem to have smaller samples to try.
I can't wait to see updates when it comes in - stunning!
I wasn't able to get anything that wasn't atleast a 16 on my body (unless it was a ball gown, but that wasn't what I was looking for) and I'm a street size 16. It was annoying. I went to one store and most of their, if not all of their samples were a size 16 so I was happy. I think it was my hips. I don't know what my dress will look like on me fully, so I understand your concern. I'm a little nervous as well. I plan on getting good foundations.
Thanks! It is amazing how easy it is to second guess yourself without the proper visual, especially when you already have a somewhat low self-esteem (as I do)!
When the dress does finally come in in my size I'll be sure to post an update!
Thanks to everyone for your comments and input! It's very helpful! I really appreciate it!
I think the dress is gorgeous! And I'm having the same problem! The dress that I ended up buying--the sample was a size 8 and I ordered an 18 (gasp! I'm a size 12-14 in street clothes)...and now, everytime that I look at myself in the pictures, I think I look frumpy and just not right...I also didn't have "the feeling"...I was engaged once before, and the dress I purchased for my previous wedding, I definatley got "the feeling", so I was sad that it didn't happen for me this time, but none the less the dress that I chose is amazing, I'm just not convinced that it's amazing on me. My plan is to wait until it comes in and try it on in the correct size before I do anything rash...if I hate it, then I'll look for another dress...but I know if I call the shop now and tell them to stop production on it, I will never see what it really looks like on me, and will always wonder "what if?"
You look beautiful! When you talked about how small it was, I thought it was going to be totally squeezed, but it's really not a stretch at all to imagine it fitting perfectly. It's really beautiful, and I'm sure the back will look great. Mine has a corset back, which is always an option if you don't love the back. I like knowing that even if I get nervous and lose a few pounds the week of the wedding, we'll just be able to cinch it a little tighter (or looser, heaven forbid). Either way, I think it looks great on you.
That is a great suggestion...waiting until the dress comes in before doing anything"rash". So smart! I really didn't even think of that as an option, since the dress apparently won't even arrive until 8 weeks before the wedding. It's better idea than spending money I don't have on a second dress when I am not even sure what the first dress I bought will end up looking like.
You know...maybe I (and maybe you) will get "the feeling" once our dresses fit properly. Wouldn't that be nice =) Without it, I didn't feel like I got the true dress shopping experience...It's kind of sad in a way! I guess it is probably a bit hard to get a special feeling when you have clips holding you into a dress and a piece of random cloth covering most of your backside...lol
Anyways, thanks for making me feel like I'm not alone!
My davice (since you asked all bees)... if you are questioning it... don't spend the money on it! its too much! wht happens if you hate it in your size?
I personally thing if you LOVE the dress then YAY! buy it... but it doesn't sound to me like you loved hte dress. go try it on again without the entourage and see how you feel about it.
Ronney
Thanks, Ronney. I actually already bought it. I mentioned above that I bought it the day that I tried it on due to the influence of my family. it woud have been smart of me to wait, but it is too late now. That is why I am having a tough time with the decision...buyer's remorse of sorts. But I am feeling a bit better about my decision after a few days of contemplation...
It is stunning! I love it! I think it will be amazing when it fits correctly. I bought my dress and the sample size I squeezed into was 4 sizes too small. It really did not fit right and I couldn't see the back either. But I knew it encompassed everything I wanted in a dress. You saw it on the other bride so you have an idea what it will look like, right? Have some faith. When my dress came in and it actually fit me right I cried because I had the "moment". I didn't have it in the dress that fit me wrong, but I did in "my" dress.
I can't wait to see pictures when you get your dress because I think it's going to be amazing! I'm with @Miss OBG: it's not at all a stretch to see how awesome it'll look on you!
THANK YOU! It is so nice to hear that you can actually have "the moment" at a time other than during the initial dress shopping experience. I'm hoping that will be the case with me too! The dress does have everything I wanted...EVEN POCKETS! (which I love!) And yes, you're right...I was able to see the back on the other bride and it was beautiful...It's very simple. It has somewhat of a lowcut back and the sash you see on the front goes around the back, ties and goes down the entire length of the dress. I appreciate your encouragement!
Thanks for your kind words! I'll be sure to post an update after my first fitting...even though I'm sure it will be months from now! lol =)
@aat108: You are welcome! The lower cut backs are actually great for plus size and the dress fits you enough that you can see it will be amazing on you! (I would totally wear a dress like that btw!) I hope you do get your moment, and I think you will. I cried not so much because I found my dress, but because trying on MY dress made it so real, and because I felt so beautiful. I never really thought I would feel that beautiful. That was my sign that I made the right choice. But I certainly did debate it for the 6 months it took to came in. I look forward to seeing your post of pictures of you in YOUR dress when it comes in. I think you are going to love it!
That dress is gorgeous. I'm sure once you go for your first fitting and see it in your size and get to see yourself in YOUR dress, you'll have your "moment". I bought my gown after being unable to fully squeeze into the size 8 sample and even to this day I pop into various bridal shops just to peek at the latest styles.
So far, NO OTHER DRESS has lived up to the one I bought, which is a good sign! So, I'd say look around to your heart's content. If your dress is THE dress, you'll just know.
@aat108: I think once you receive the dress in your size you're thinking will be different. I'm going through a similar thing but with me I bought the only dress I could properly fit into and could actually see what I would look like in it. I keep second guessing myself that maybe there would be more out there for me if I could see how it's supposed to look on my body and not a tight mess. However, the more I picture myself with the dress on and the type of accessories I want to wear I can see myself wearing it on my wedding day. I've just recently purchased my earrings for my wedding day and anytime I question the dress I just picture the earring with the dress and realize it's going to look fabulous. I have a feeling once the dress is in your size you'll have a whole new feeling about it.
So despite all of the wonderful and positive feedback I received on here (thank you all!)..I went today to Curvy Girls Bridal Salon in Fairfax, VA to try to lift the doubts about the Kleinfeld dress that I purchased a couple of weeks ago...and go figure that my mission backfired, but in a positive way!
First off...AMAZING salon. If you live in the DC Area...GO THERE!!!! Kim and Ruth truly are awesome! I wish I knew about Curvy Girls before going to Kleinfelds...Thoose ladies were so encouraging and really made today a wonderful experience!
During my experience at Kleinfelds, I had my family with me and they heavily weighed upon my decision to purchase my original gown (seen at top of post). Today I went alone...I should have done that to begin with! What a different experience today was. It really opened my eyes! At Kleinfelds, due to my own stubbornness, all I tried on were A-Line gowns. Today I tried on this La Sposa along with all different types and styles of gowns...(sorry the back view is blurry...it is from a camera on a phone)
I LOVE the Madiera and the Delfos (seen above...) There is no going back. I desperately want a fitted gown now. I tried on about 12 gowns while at Curvy Girls (they were EXTREMELY helpful and patient with me for the 3 hours I was there!) I included all types of dresses in my selection process, including the inevitable A-Line...But this is definitely the style that is for me!
Immediately after my appointment at Curvy Girls today, I called Kleinfelds and put in a request to put the order for my original gown on hold. By doing this, I am able to go back in, make a reselection, and put my deposit towards another dress. Much to my dismay, it does not appear that Kleinfelds carries the La Sposa line in their store, but I hope that during the reselection process, I can find a similar gown....and hopefully a plus size one that will fit over my hips for me to try on!
Has anyone who has purchased from or gone to Kleinfelds been able to try on something similar to the dress seen above?
I believe they can still get you that dress even if they don't carry it. But don't quote me on it. I do completely agree with you that the second dress simply out does the first. The first is just too cookie cutter for girls like us, TRUE CURVES! Best of luck and glad you could hold the production of the first dress!
Thanks! I'm hoping you're right! I just emailed them to ask. I don't see why they wouldn't be able to do it! If they aren't able to though, and I'm not able to find anything similar enough at Kleinfelds, I'll likely just take the loss and buy the dress through the Curvy Girls, because I really do love that dress...
I completely understand what you are talking about....I had the same feelings of paranoia when I tried on the sample which was a few sizes too small. I am actually very glad that I had my mother there to help with the decision because the only thing hold me back was the fear that when it came in in my size I wouldn't like it. In the end, I loved it! Everything about it fit perfectly.
OMG girl I loooooooooove the second dress! Reminds me of my dress with the sweetheart neckline and rouching and the way it hugs your curves. Your butt looks fantastic! I made sure I tried on all styles when I went shopping because you just never know what will look best. I'm glad you listened to your gut - there was obviously more going on than just being a bit unsure. You weren't done looking yet when you purchased, and that's ok. Keep us updated. I'm excited to see what you finally choose!
@aat108: One of the few times I've seen a dress on someone that they were second guessing on and did not agree with the bride that the dress was wrong. It looks great on you! I really like it.
Thanks! =) Yeah...I definately wasn't done looking! I'm so glad I figured that out before it was too late! Don't get me wrong...the first dress is beautiful without a doubt...and I likely would have loved it if I had the opportunity to see it in my size. And plus it made my Mom cry (tears of joy of course). I even plan on trying it on again when i go back to Kleinfeld's just to be sure. BUT I know that I felt SO much better and confident about myself in the second dress(es) (The front pic of the new dresses is the front of Delfos by La Sposa...the butt pic is the back of Madiera also by La Sposa). I NEVER feel good about myself...in these dresses I did. Dare I say I even felt beautiful. Plus, I know my fiance will LOVE a dress like that. He LOVE my curves, so knowing that I'd be wearing a dress where his jaw might drop makes me smile a little! =) I just took a look at your dress and you look FABULOUS in it! Great choice! Maybe i should track down some Enzoani Blue's to try on too!
@aat108: Awww, thanks! I love my dress. :) I know what you mean about your FI loving your curves and liking the second dress because of it. I know when my FI sees my curves he will love them! I just keep thinking back to what Randy says on Say Yes to the Dress - for plus size girls it's all about the silhouette. I'm excited to see what you find! Do you have to buy from Kleinfeld's now because of your deposit?
Unfortunately, yes...I will need to get the dress from Kleinfeld's unless I decide to completely for-go my deposit. I e-mailed them to check and see if they carry La Sposa dresses, and if they don't, if they would be able to order one for me through their salon anyways, since I've tried them on elsewhere and already know they look amazing! I haven't heard back from them yet, though. So...we will see! I'm very anxious to see what I'll find! I hope to have my reselection appointment in a couple of weeks!
OMG!! I did the same thing. I put a deposit on a David's dress that was ok. I went to CurvyGirl in Fairfax and fell in love with the first four dresses I tried on!!! It was between the Maggie Sorrento and La Sposa. I went with the LA Sposa. I am so glad that boutique caters to woman with a little bit more curves!! You look AMAZING in that dress. I really hope you can find something like that at Kleinfields. Good for you for not settling!!
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