Buying a house and getting married at the same time? Advice/experiences?

posted 2 years ago in Home
  • poll: What should we do?
    Buy now and move later - eat the cost of a couple months' mortgage payments. : (5 votes)
    24 %
    Buy now AND move now - you can make it work. : (11 votes)
    52 %
    Wait until after the wedding to buy. : (5 votes)
    24 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    1137 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    It would create a lot of stress to add this into the mix.

    I also know two couples who bought houses together before their wedding. In both cases, the weddings were called off.

    I am sure lots of people buy a house together before marriage and it works out fine, but the experience of those two friends made me decide I would never do that.

    Post # 4
    Member
    42 posts
    Newbee

    We bought a house 2 months before the wedding (because my lease was up at my apartment), and it was incredibly stressful. I was also really busy with work. So those 2 things + wedding planning was a lot to take on. Unless you find the perfect place and don’t want to miss out on it, I would say wait until after the wedding.

    Post # 6
    Member
    2791 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2015 - Walnut Hill Bed & Breakfast

    I’d say only buy now if you find a house that you will be really upset if someone else buys it. 

    We had an offer accepted in mid-July and we close on September 19th. (it would have been August 29 but we had to get some work done on it to get the loan approved) That said, our wedding isn’t until May. We both live with parents now and so I will be moving in sometime in November (once I collect the neccessities) and he wont be moving in until after the wedding. (his parents house is way closer to where he works now anyways, so he can save money that way. Plus my parents would be mad if he moved in.)

    Post # 7
    Member
    2007 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    applecat:  I’m not going to lie to you, it’s super stressful. We closed on our house last week, move in next week, and we’re getting married four weeks later. The last couple of months have been really rough.

    BUT. It’s totally managable. I think it depends on your priorities and how bad you want a new house right now. For me, I wanted to be moved in and settled into our home before the wedding, so that once we’re married, we can focus on being married (and TTC). Then we found the perfect house (after having an offer on another house fall through, which was more devastating than I ever could have imagined), and we really didn’t want to risk losing it. I didn’t want to have to worry about any of the drama and stress that comes along with searching for and buying a house after the wedding. I figured, I’m already going to be losing my mind, so why not lose it all at once? Yes, I want to pull my hair out at various times throughout most days, but overall, I am SO excited to move into our first house, and I cannot wait to marry my FI. I’m happy we’re doing it this way.

    As long as you stay organized, make sure your finances are always in order, and know that this is something you really want, you’ll be fine. Good luck!

    Post # 8
    Member
    127 posts
    Blushing bee

    applecat:  We are getting married in December and are about to close on our house now.  My advice to you would be to understand things don’t always go on your timeline.  You may end up moving a couple weeks after your wedding due to the banks timeline.  We put in our offer 2 weeks ago, they just got their paperwork done.  We are set to close on the 30th, but still no inspections or anything has been done.  Therefore our close date could be pushed back if nothing is done.  We started looking for a house 3 months ago, so as you can see the whole process has taken us about 4 months.  So you may get lucky, you may not.  I’d say go for it!

    Post # 9
    Member
    6274 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    start searching.  if you find a house you MUST have, put a bid in on it. maybe you don’t find one right away.  don’t settle for a house just because you want to get out of where you are ASAP.

    if the house it meanth to be, you will find a way to make it work with closing and the wedding.

     

    for me, wedding planning wasn’t all that time comsuming.  house hunting was time consuming, but the closing and inspection were not a big deal.

     

    good luck!

    Post # 10
    Member
    103 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    I agree with others who say that you should only buy now if you find a place you really love.  That said, I would think that feeling anxious and unsafe about your current living situation would be fat more stressful than moving and closing on a new house.

    I would suggest finding a good Buyer’s agent to help you.  They take on most of the running around that buying a house involves- inspections, appraisals, title insurance, etc. and advise you when decisions come up.  I would also suggest having any major work done on the house before you move in- painting, repairs, floors or carpeting.  Trying to do that work while also living there out of boxes is tough.  Lastly… HIRE MOVERS.  They are totally worth it!  Then when you move in just pull out what you need to live day to day and make sure you know where all of your wedding stuff is… you don’t want to drive yourself crazy looking for it.  You can wait to decorate and finish unpacking until after the wedding.  Good luck!

    P.S. Be careful with short sale, foreclosure, or bank-owned properties.  A lot of times these have heavy price reductions and look like a great deal, but they can also take a VERY long timee to negotiate and close on.

    Post # 11
    Member
    305 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    Been there!  We’ve been renting a house for a few years- really like the house but figured after we got married, we’d look at buying a house in a year or two.  We are getting married Nov 2014.  Well, in January my landlord told me that she was going to list my house as a shortsale because it was heading for foreclosure.  So here we are, saving for our upcoming wedding and now we’re forced to decide if we want find another house that we love, pay all of the moving expenses, or…some how try to buy a house. 

    I didn’t want to move but I also didn’t really feel like I was in a position to buy a house.  I was already saving $2000 a month for our wedding and to think of having to pay a downpayment was just not possible.  Well, we figured it out.  Was it stressful? YES…it was awful.  I worried I wouldn’t be approved for the mortgage, I worried we wouldn’t have enough money left for our wedding, etc.  And to make matters worse, the short sale took SIX MONTHS.  So I had to worry for 6 months that if it wasn’t approved, we’d still be forced to move.  It worked out but honeslty I can say that I’d never wish that stress on anyone.  If you can avoid moving, I would until after the wedding.

    Post # 14
    Member
    435 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    As far as break in and thefts go, I would maybe put my important expensive possessions somewhere else. Can you store your jewelry at your moms until you move? or do you have a lock box at a bank? Do you have insurance on your big tv or computer? Can you install extra locks?

    I would look into taking measures to feel safer and protect yourself while focusing on the wedding. Then after your honeymoon find and move into a house.

    Post # 15
    Member
    3756 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    We started house hunting in late January and our wedding was April 25th. We found a house we loved and started the process in early February and moved in March 15th. It was 45 days from start to finish. The process was stressful as the septic needed to be replaced and the previous owner took his sweet time getting it done and we didn’t have the title 5 certificate until the day before closing, but it all worked out. If you have the cash flow to be flexible on your move in date, I say go for it now.

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