Buying a House Together Before Marriage

posted 1 year ago in Home
  • poll: In my situation, what would you do??
    I'd never buy a house with someone I'm not married to. You never know what might happen. : (55 votes)
    24 %
    I think it's fine to start looking for a house once you're engaged. : (97 votes)
    42 %
    I'd go ahead and buy a house with someone I really trusted, engaged or not! : (77 votes)
    33 %
    Other (Explain below!) : (4 votes)
    2 %
  • Member
    27799 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    I knew I didn’t want to officially live together before we got married.  We started looking for houses when we got engaged, and moved in just after we got back from our honeymoon! I’ll tell ya, we loved that decision BUT buying a house AND planning a wedding at the same time?  Super stressful! :P  But we made it through just the same!

    4311 posts
    Honey bee

    I would probably buy a house with someone before being married, but I would definitely have some sort of mutual agreement drawn up by a lawyer just in case something did happen.

    5730 posts
    Bee Keeper

    My DH bought a house before we were married and I moved in there and contributed to the mortgage about a year and a half before our wedding. No one seemed to care.

    4172 posts
    Honey bee

    FI and I bought our house after getting engaged and before getting married, we’ve had no problems!  The first few months are stressful but I never thought we’d break up.  It didn’t seem to bother either of our parents, but FI and I DID live together before.  I think they were happy that we switched from renting to buying!

    2298 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I think it sounds fine since all the financial aspects are in his name only.

    I would not personally do it, but I can understand that there are situations where it makes sense. Quite honestly, if I were to do it, it would be most likely under a situation like yours AND I would want the agreement in writing (if I were your FI). I’m not a big pre-nup person or anything, but before you’re married, everything is a partnership, and partnerships do best with things in writing. I’d want you to agree, in writing, to sign a quit-claim deed should something happen.

    I will also say this – I would NOT be comfortable not being on the mortgage once married, even though you’re on the deed. If, God forbid, something should happen and your DH died, not being on the mortgage will be a nightmare. They won’t talk to you, you may have to refinance instead of just get him taken off, waiting for a death certificate can take forever, you could fall into default on the mortgage, your credit could take a hit and you might not be able to refinance, etc. Get your name on that mortgage as soon as you are married.

    232 posts
    Helper bee

    My fiance and I bought two houses over the summer (it’s definitely a buyers market right now – we got them for a steal!) We live in one and rent the other one out. We love each other and we are getting married in March so for us this was a no brainer. We didn’t want to wait and miss out on these houses. We were already living together though. At first he was going to buy the one house by himself, but I thought he’d have a better chance if I went in on it with him. He was floored and said it meant so much and it solidified our relationship. I was like, “Honey, we are already engaged. Do you really need more proof that I’m in this for the long haul?” lol.  

    10748 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    We bought our house after 5 years dating and we knew we would end up engaged and married. I got my ring 6 months after we moved in. 

    8046 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    @inky_1:  I think it definitely sounds right for you guys. I am not opposed to buying a home with my SO because I know we’re going to get married. I’d prefer for us to be engaged first, though.

    My friend bought a house with her SO and it didn’t work out. It is a messy situation but not the end of the world. He put more $$ into it than she did, but he gave her a reasonable settlement. Still sucks because her standard of living went down the toilet and she probably did put in more than she got in return, but since they weren’t yet officially common law (it’s 3 yrs where I live) and he put the bulk of the money into the house, she didn’t have much of a leg to stand on. She wasn’t the marrying type and he was… they probably shouldn’t have moved in together in the first place. It was one of those situations where I predicted from the beginning that the end would be near and I was right.

    27799 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    @inky_1:  That’s exactly what we did! I was in charge of wedding, he was in charge of house. It worked pretty well! :)

    165 posts
    Blushing bee

    We put an offer in on our house 3 months before we got engaged.  We had been living together for almost 2 years before that and we knew getting engaged was the next step we wanted,  We were engaged in August 2011 and moved into our house in October 2011.  We were married a few weeks ago on October 21st, 2012.  I’m honestly really happy that we did the home buying first, because we didn’t have to deal with moving so close after the wedding.  Now that everything is done I couldn’t imagine doing it any other way!

    The only stressful thing was decorating a whole house and planning a wedding simultaneously, in the beginning it was a lot to deal with before I got are house all decorated and furniture bought.. then I could just focus on wedding stuff.

    2126 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Speaking from experience… I wouldnt do it unless your name is NOT on the title, deed, and mortgage. 

    If you break up or something happens (which I sincerely hope that it does not) – its like going through a divorce without actually being married.  You have the split the assets and its a mess.  Makes things a lot more difficult.

    Presently, my FH just bought a house.  I havent contributed a dime – only sweat and labor since weve been renovating.  So if something did happen, its all his without a question.

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