Post # 1
Fiance and I are looking to buy our first house 🙂
I’m not REALLY concerned w/ what anyone else really thinks, but a discussion we had last night got me thinking about it a little. Basically, I asked him if he thought his parents were going to be upset about it, and he said it’s possible that his dad might be like “whoa…you’re doing this before you’re married?!”
I told Fiance quite frankly and honestly that if for some reason something really DOES happen to us between now and October and we break up, I will leave and the house will be his no questions asked. It makes sense – ALL the money going into this is coming from him, and the loan is going to be in only his name (though we’ll both be on the title/deed). But it’s his money he’s worked SO hard to save, and I would never be the type of person to try and say any of that was mine if something really did happen before our wedding in October.
I’m not REALLY concerned about anything happening 🙂 We’re both 100% committed to getting married and 100% sure of the decision. I think we’re making the right choice by starting to look for a house to buy; so does he!
What do YOU think??
Post # 3
I knew I didn’t want to officially live together before we got married. We started looking for houses when we got engaged, and moved in just after we got back from our honeymoon! I’ll tell ya, we loved that decision BUT buying a house AND planning a wedding at the same time? Super stressful! 😛 But we made it through just the same!
Post # 4
@pengoala: Lol so I’ve heard, but honestly, I am not finding wedding planning all that stressful… and we’ve agreed that I’m taking the lead on wedding planning while he’s taking the lead on house buying.
It helps that I started planning SUPER early!!
Post # 5
I would probably buy a house with someone before being married, but I would definitely have some sort of mutual agreement drawn up by a lawyer just in case something did happen.
Post # 6
My Darling Husband bought a house before we were married and I moved in there and contributed to the mortgage about a year and a half before our wedding. No one seemed to care.
Post # 7
- Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall
Fiance and I bought our house after getting engaged and before getting married, we’ve had no problems! The first few months are stressful but I never thought we’d break up. It didn’t seem to bother either of our parents, but Fiance and I DID live together before. I think they were happy that we switched from renting to buying!
Post # 8
I think it sounds fine since all the financial aspects are in his name only.
I would not personally do it, but I can understand that there are situations where it makes sense. Quite honestly, if I were to do it, it would be most likely under a situation like yours AND I would want the agreement in writing (if I were your FI). I’m not a big pre-nup person or anything, but before you’re married, everything is a partnership, and partnerships do best with things in writing. I’d want you to agree, in writing, to sign a quit-claim deed should something happen.
I will also say this – I would NOT be comfortable not being on the mortgage once married, even though you’re on the deed. If, God forbid, something should happen and your Darling Husband died, not being on the mortgage will be a nightmare. They won’t talk to you, you may have to refinance instead of just get him taken off, waiting for a death certificate can take forever, you could fall into default on the mortgage, your credit could take a hit and you might not be able to refinance, etc. Get your name on that mortgage as soon as you are married.
Post # 9
@DeathByDesign: That’s a little different though since your name wasn’t on the title 🙂
Post # 10
My fiance and I bought two houses over the summer (it’s definitely a buyers market right now – we got them for a steal!) We live in one and rent the other one out. We love each other and we are getting married in March so for us this was a no brainer. We didn’t want to wait and miss out on these houses. We were already living together though. At first he was going to buy the one house by himself, but I thought he’d have a better chance if I went in on it with him. He was floored and said it meant so much and it solidified our relationship. I was like, “Honey, we are already engaged. Do you really need more proof that I’m in this for the long haul?” lol.
Post # 11
We bought our house after 5 years dating and we knew we would end up engaged and married. I got my ring 6 months after we moved in.
Post # 12
@inky_1: I think it definitely sounds right for you guys. I am not opposed to buying a home with my SO because I know we’re going to get married. I’d prefer for us to be engaged first, though.
My friend bought a house with her SO and it didn’t work out. It is a messy situation but not the end of the world. He put more $$ into it than she did, but he gave her a reasonable settlement. Still sucks because her standard of living went down the toilet and she probably did put in more than she got in return, but since they weren’t yet officially common law (it’s 3 yrs where I live) and he put the bulk of the money into the house, she didn’t have much of a leg to stand on. She wasn’t the marrying type and he was… they probably shouldn’t have moved in together in the first place. It was one of those situations where I predicted from the beginning that the end would be near and I was right.
Post # 13
@NAvery: We were advised not to put me on the mortgage in order to keep my name free of debt in case we ever buy a second property and rent it out… but I’ll do some research as to what that means if something happens to him. I would be on the title; it’s actually a big risk for him to take. If we divorced, I would be entitled to half of the house, but he would be stuck with the full loan…
@mchitt329: We have been living together for a while now 🙂 Just…in an apartment, not a house. So, that part, at least, I’m used to 😉
Post # 14
@inky_1: That’s exactly what we did! I was in charge of wedding, he was in charge of house. It worked pretty well! 🙂
Post # 15
We put an offer in on our house 3 months before we got engaged. We had been living together for almost 2 years before that and we knew getting engaged was the next step we wanted, We were engaged in August 2011 and moved into our house in October 2011. We were married a few weeks ago on October 21st, 2012. I’m honestly really happy that we did the home buying first, because we didn’t have to deal with moving so close after the wedding. Now that everything is done I couldn’t imagine doing it any other way!
The only stressful thing was decorating a whole house and planning a wedding simultaneously, in the beginning it was a lot to deal with before I got are house all decorated and furniture bought.. then I could just focus on wedding stuff.
Post # 16
Speaking from experience… I wouldnt do it unless your name is NOT on the title, deed, and mortgage.
If you break up or something happens (which I sincerely hope that it does not) – its like going through a divorce without actually being married. You have the split the assets and its a mess. Makes things a lot more difficult.
Presently, my FH just bought a house. I havent contributed a dime – only sweat and labor since weve been renovating. So if something did happen, its all his without a question.