(Closed) Buying before Married

posted 8 years ago in Home
Post # 3
Member
3219 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

From personal experience I would NEVER put anyones name on a house that I was not married to. Even after we are married FH’s name will not be on the house. When we move we will go to a lawyer and have something set up that I will get x amount more then him from the sale of the house if we should seperate.

And a good friend of mine went thru a break up with her  now x-FI he NEVER paid anything on the house not even any utility bills and they (her and her parents)  ended up just paying him $4500 and giving him back the ring so he would sign off because it was cheaper then taking him to court.

Post # 4
Member
1523 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

FI and I bought a house together in May 2009, two months after we got engaged. The timing was right for us because we already lived together, both had stable jobs and wanted to own a home. We are both listed as owners of the home on our mortgage as well. To me, it made sense to buy the home when we did and not wait until we got married.

I am not sure if this was helpful, but my basic view is that buying a house together before marriage was fine because we were committed to eachother and were in a financial situation where we could comfotably pay a mortgage together.

Post # 5
Member
29 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2011

We are getting married in June and are planning on purchasing a house in January. The mortgage will be in my name but my FI will be on the deed to the house. I am not worried about purchasing before we are married because in my eyes we have already committed ourselves to each other. What are a few months anyway? We are purchasing a house that requires only one income so if either of us loses a job or decides to stay at home with our kids; we could still afford our bills/ mortgage. I want to be able to have a house and get everything painted, fixed, moved in, etc. before our wedding. We to come back from the honeymoon to “Our” house and not have to worry about finding something and moving afterwards. Also, we have decided that I will live in the hose until we are married (his is because my parents said if we live together before we are married they would not pay for the wedding). What are your hesitations about purchasing before marriage?

Post # 6
Member
7082 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

I bought before we were married, and I am the only one on this mortgage.  Obviously, for our new house, we’re both on it.

Post # 7
Member
2703 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

FI bought our house, but due to my crappy credit, only he is on the mortgage, after the wedding (when i get my credit back up) we will add my name to the deed and mortgage as well.

 

Post # 8
Member
74 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

We bought our house together about 6 months after getting engaged and about 3-4 months before the wedding. Both of our names are on the mortgage. It’s really not difficult at all to put both of you on there. Our lawyer even told me that I don’t have to change my name on it after the wedding. He said my maiden name will still be valid, so it’s really not necessary to change.

I know that some people hear horror stories about other people’s relationships, but I know my fiance deeply and I know his family and their values. He’s not the kind of person who is capable of that level of deceit. 

We bought before the wedding for several reasons:

1. The lease on my almost-hubby’s apartment runs out the day before our wedding (which is Saturday!)

2. Almost-hubby didn’t want to renew his lease on his apartment because they were raising his rent by almost $300 a month. And his new rent would have been $10 more a month than we are paying on our mortgage right now.

3. We wanted to get in on the first-time homebuyer’s credit.

Only you know your relationship well enough to know if you are ready for that step. If it’s the right time for you, go for it!

Post # 9
Member
120 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

i own my place and bought before FI was in the picture, so of course i’m the only one on the mortgage.  he’s moved into my place for now and after we decide to move on (which is hopefully sooner rather than later, but selling is not easy right now), we’ll both be on the next mortgage.

Post # 10
Member
3943 posts
Honey bee

My bf and I (yup, not engaged yet) just bought a house together in May. Everyone can give you their opinion and tell you “horror stories” but really its a very personal decision and only you two know what is the best decision for you. It can get messy, but so can divorce so who knows.

I know we will get married in the future and we didn’t see any point in only having one name on the mortgage.

Post # 11
Member
11327 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

We bought a house before we were married (but after we were engaged) and we are both on the mortgage. I know that it is a risk (isn’t everything a risk?), particularly bc my MOH bought a dress with her ex-fi before they broke up and it was kind of a mess for her. But, it made sense for us. We couldn’t wait until after we were married because of the housing credit thing, and WE picked the house. Not just one of us. 

I guess I did put down the down payment so I could’ve asked for just my name to be put on the mortgage, but I couldn’t have gotten the house without him probably. I actually make more than him, but I’m “self employed” and I don’t have a long enough history of employment. argh. So basically my income kind of didn’t count. They approved us based just on FI’s salary. 

Post # 12
Member
73 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Other people have addressed the risk of breaking up, etc., but something else to consider is what if one of you dies?  If you’re buying a home together, make sure the other person has life insurance, investments you can access, or something like that so that you can keep paying the mortgage.  Check with the laws of your state to make sure that if one of you dies the other person automatically gets the rest of the house.  Because even if you’re totally confident about your relationship, just consider what would happen if your BF/FI died.  Could you make the mortgage payments by yourself?  If he doesn’t have a will (and you’re not married), chances are that his money would go to his parents.  Will they be willing to give you the money to keep making the mortgage payments?  Or would you be forced to sell the house?

Definitely not a happy subject, but you MUST think about stuff like that if you’re buying property with someone you’re not married to.

Post # 13
Member
119 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010 - Rancho San Carlos

We own a house together, and have since last November.  Our situation was similar to CorgiTales, but it was my income that got us the loan.  Both of our names are on the mortgage, and it was the right decision for us.

I think this decision is one that can only be made within your own relationship.  We got some flack from our families about buying a house together, but it was the right decision.  Of course, my sister and her fiance bought a house together, and then called off the wedding and had to wade through the murkiness of what happens to the house.

Whatever you decide, I wish you the best of luck!

Post # 14
Member
1752 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I purchased our house before we were married.  We lived together in it for 3 years, greatest decision ever. 

In the process of changing my name now, and trying to decide if I change my name and add him to the mortgage?  His name doesn’t need to be on there, since now, technically half of it is his… but I’m thinking it might help boost his credit score!

Post # 16
Member
4123 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

We’re also like Corgi.

We are both on the mortgage. HE had the downpayment and perfect credit and I had the income history with good but not his level of credit… it was either go in on it together, or not at all. When we did this, we had been together 3+ years, engaged for 6-7 months. 

The timing worked for us. We found an awesome home with really great instant equity (foreclosure) and got the 8k tax credit and an unheard of interest rate. We’ve been fixing it up, and by the time we’re married it will really be “our” home. Our mortgage is also hundreds less than renting would be, so we’re also in turn “saving” money…. 

 

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