Post # 1
Heyo. My maid of honor and I tried on a bunch (like a BUNCH) of bridesmaid dresses yesterday, and we fell in love with one that is this awesome peacock blue. I was thinking navy or slate blue, but this color just pops and is so amazing. The dress was really flattering and could be worn with or without straps. AND it had pockets.
The problem is that it is $280. So much more than I wanted my bridesmaids to spend. So, I was thinking that if I don’t find another dress that I love, I could offer to pay $200 of each girl’s dress…but then would I also have to get them gifts for being in the wedding? Probably, right?
What would you do?
Post # 3
- Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA
They would probably all be thrilled if that way your gift to them! And at $200 each you definitely DON’T need to get them anything else!
Post # 4
I’d pay $200 and get them a gift. The dress isn’t a gift – I highly doubt they will be able to wear a peacock blue bm dress again. Plus they are still paying $80 for it.
yay for pockets!
Post # 5
Paying for their dress (or partially) is gift enough. No need for anything else. As a Bridesmaid or Best Man, I’d be appreciative of that offer and wouldn’t expect, nor would I want, anything else.
Post # 6
@GroovyHippieChick: I agree.
I think you should ask your girls, OP. They might be thrilled that you’d pay for most of their dresses and prefer that over a gift. As the bride, I would want to get them something else in addition to the dress, but I understand that $200 per Bridesmaid or Best Man is a lot of money.
Also, $280 might be in their budget, so that price might be fine with them. Did you discuss budget before shopping?
Post # 7
I’d say that you should get them a gift too, but it doesn’t need to be expensive, just meaningful. In the UK the bride buys the Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses in any case (I’d never heard of BMs buying their own before I started reading blogs and even then I assumed it wasn’t very popular!) and the gift is to show them how much you love them and to thank them for their support on your big day.
Fairly inexpensive gifts can include things like nicely framed photos of you together (either one fantastic picture, or a collage of different things you’ve done together, like graduating college or playing together as kids or something) or something home-made. If you’re good with words, you could write a poem. If you’re a fantastic cook you could create a voucher promising to invite them round for a home-cooked gourmet 5 course meal.
Think outside the box – a gift for your BMs doesn’t have to be expensive jewellery or to be a huge bag full of cute little things (nor so they all have to have the same thing). It’s the sentiment that’s the important thing, and sometimes I think these one-size-fits-all type of Bridesmaid or Best Man gifts lose that element slightly.
Post # 8
@Ms Bookworm: They have not responded to repeated requests for budget. However, one bridesmaid said she did not have much to spend, and another balked at a price tag of $300 on a dress (AS SHE SHOULD!!!). Another will pay for whatever I ask, and another has not given any indication about her preferences at all.
We went to the store to see what styles worked best on my maid of honor.
Post # 9
@peachacid: Well, at least you asked what they are comfortable spending! Mine were kind of the same way and told me they’ll spend whatever will get them an awesome dress, but of course they appreciated my efforts to keep the costs minimal.
I would show them the dress, get their reactions, and talk about the price. You can be very honest with them about how it’s more than you want them to spend, but perhaps they will love the dress so much that they won’t care – especially if you chip in. If it were ME, I’d rather have my dress paid for than anything else. I also love @clumsylawyer‘s suggestion to give them something simple and inexpensive for the other part of their gift, like a framed photo of you & them. Paying for the majority of their dress cost + a token of your friendship would be a wonderful gift.
Post # 10
I paying slightly less for my BMs dresses $230 and that will be their gift was well. I let them pick their own dresses and they had to agree on 1 of 3 colour choices for all the dresses (which turned out OK they both liked the same colour lol). I think this is more than enough. I hope it is anyway.
Post # 11
Ask them! Also, don’t forget about alterations. I offered to pay for my girls alterations since they were paying for the dresses ($120) and that ended up costing me $250 too. I know that other bee’s say getting them something FOR the wedding isn’t a “gift” but I’m paying for my girls hair to get done and treating them to mani/pedi’s as the major part of their gift and then I also got them each a pair of earrings, but those were only $25 each.
Anyways, I think paying for part of the dress is more than enough of a gift but if you still want to get something on top of that maybe you can find something small to give them!
Post # 12
I agree if this is the dress you want and it’s beyond their means that you should help out with the dress.
However, I do think you should get them a small gift as well since the dress isn’t necessarily something they demanded but rather, something you wanted them to have. You don’t have to spend a whole lot to get something nice and meaningful.