Buying bridesmaids dresses instead of presents…?

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Would you want bride to pay for your bridesmaids dress or pay for it yourself & get thank you gift?
    Buy bridesmaid dress & hair & makeup with no gift : (56 votes)
    85 %
    Buy my own dress and get nice thank you gift : (10 votes)
    15 %
  • Post # 3
    2534 posts
    Sugar bee

    I would love to have the dress and hair/makeup paid for if I was a bridesmaid. Just give them a nice card thanking them for their help and maybe something small like you said – lotion or a pretty candle 🙂

    Post # 5
    420 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    I am doing the same thing which is paying for BMs dresse, hair and make up w no gifts

    Post # 6
    1924 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I voted for dress and hair over gifts, but be sure to give your maids a nice card!

    Post # 7
    641 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    I feel bad about asking my bridesmaids to buy their own dresses too so I’m buying them but my MIL wants us to also buy the BMs presents on top of this! Her daughter is one of my BMs so I guess that’s why… I just feel that that is going to be too much and we can’t really afford to do that. 

    Post # 8
    2171 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2017

    I would TOTALLY prefer having my dress paid for than receiving a gift.

    Post # 10
    729 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013


    I feel strongly about paying for the dress so I did that and am also paying for their hair & makeup. My way of thinking is that they wouldnt have those expenses if  they hadnt agreed to be in the wedding so it’s not fair to make them pay it. 


    That said, bc the budget allows I am also getting them a gift. I think though it’s better to cover their expenses and then a little gift or picture freame with a heartfelt note is good. 

    Post # 11
    1822 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013 - Pavilion overlooking golf course scenery, reception at banquet hall

    I would personally be super relieved to be off the hook for $200+ worth of stuff I won’t ever use again. I paid for my BM’s dresses, and gave them something small.

    Post # 12
    3442 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    @Allyg:  It would really take the financial burden off your BM’s if you bought all of their attire & hair & makeup, so I say do that & then give them really personal & sweet cards with maybe the candle idea, like you mentioned.

    I bought my girls the tube tops for their infinity dresses & an awesome haircomb that matched the dresses that they loved. I also did their makeup for them, so that expense was taken care of. I then gave them a really sweet personal card (my gifts to them totalled $65). We picked the dresses out together with the main hopes that they would easily love to wear the dresses again, and also be affordable. They really appeciated help taking the burden off of them, and I think they were happy it worked out the way it did rather than asking them to buy more stuff for their outfits, and then giving them some unrelated gifts. Money was tight for them.

    Post # 14
    1506 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    @Allyg:  I am by NO means rich (I am having a less than $3,000 wedding), but I bought my girls dresses, as well as a gift. I lucked out, though. Their dresses were on clearance ($40 each) and so were their gifts (personalized wedding hangers $4 each). And I have 4 girls. Man, I’m on a ‘4’ kick! haha. I still plan on buying them each a necklace (if there are cute ones on sale that match their personalities) and each a personalized tumbler (if I can find some on clearance!). I ONLY have bought things on sale or clearance for this wedding. 

    Moral of the story… you can totally find cheap dresses! 😛 Clearance rack, baby!


    If I were a bridesmaid, I would rather you pay for me to look pretty than for me to spend my money on something I’d never wear again and receive a gift I will never use again.


    Post # 15
    17 posts
    • Wedding: May 2014

    If I was asked to be a bridesmaid I would take that as an absolute honour and not expect anything in return… it’s a gesture of love and trust and that’s amazing initself!

    I will pay for my girls dresses and hope that they can wear them again, and if there is any money left I will give them a small piece of jewellery or something to let them know how much I love them.

    I think it really depends on how much you expect them to do and how they fit into your life.

    Good luck!


    Post # 16
    79 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    @Allyg:  This is a great idea! I wish I could do this for my girls.  I am going to pay for them to have their hair done as part as my gift to them.  If I was one of your BM, I would be so so grateful to you for paying for my dress!

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