Post # 1
So this is sort of a spin-off from the thread I posted yesterday about driving each other’s cars. There are lots of Bees whose SO’s drive manuals, or cars they either can’t or don’t want to drive.
If you have the cars you came into the relationship with, that’s one thing. But if you’re buying/leasing/aquiring a new vehicle while in the relationship (especially if you are engaged or married)– do you guys talk about the purchase and make a joint decision on the type of vehicle– especially if you have combined finances?
So, for example, let’s say it’s time to replace your SO’s car, for whatever reason. Does he/she get to choose the vehicle that is replacing *thier* vehicle without your input? If your SO has a manual and you can’t drive it (like me!), did you guys talk about tha purchase, or did he/she say “that’s what I’m getting”–
I’m a goofy girl who always wonders random things…..so if you’re up for discussion, cool!! If you think my questions are strange….cool!!
Post # 2
We only have 1 car and it’s FI’s. He chose the car, but I was 100% on board with what he picked. If I hadn’t been…well, I don’t know. I like to think we would have looked for something we both liked (he drives every day, but I use the car whenever I need it). Obviously, in the end, he was paying for it, so his choice mattered more than mine would have. Also, we weren’t even engaged then. I think that when we’re married, those choices would be more 50/50, but the person who will primarily driving the car will likely get the final say.
Post # 3
We haven’t come across this yet. We both had cars before we bought our house and created a joint bank account. I know he hates my sports car for its impracticality and says he won’t ever let me get another one though 🙁
Post # 4
- Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley
We had a discussion on which car we both wanted, and found one that was a compromise.
Post # 5
- Wedding: June 2014 - Excalibur
I’ll be looking for a crossover soon and be giving my FI my car. He knows I’m not an extravagant person and would only buy what I could afford so he doesn’t care what I buy. We won’t be combining finances but either way, a car is such a big purchase, Ithink that’s something a couple should discuss.
Post # 6
We’re going through this right now! FI has been through 4 vechiles since we’ve been together and I’ve helped pick out the three he bought when we were dating. He always gives me the spare key to the car/truck and I have free range to drive it whenever, no need to ask. He’s actually selling his nice truck now since he has a company vehicle and doesn’t need it, to buy me a new car. Since he’s the one paying, he gets say on the price, etc but I get to pick the kind of car within his rules (can’t be foreign, good gas mileage, family car, safety, etc). So right now he has more overall say since he makes more than me (full time grad student) but I’ll get to choose my own vehicles within reason when I graduate and he does take my opinions into consideration for his vehicles as well. We go look at cars together and everything so it’s fairly mutual I guess.
Post # 7
Definitely a joint decision.
Post # 8
Since my husband bought “his” car while we were only dating, I obviously didn’t have a say although I did encourage him to buy it. Since we were married once it came time to buy “my” new car, I did take his opinions into consideration. However, since this vehicle was going to be driven primarily by me, my opinions were weighted more. We both thought that was fair. Turns out I got a car that we both loved.
Post # 9
Pinkmoon: LOL– well maybe you will be lucky enough one day to have the two practical cars, then a sports car of your own for fun!!
MrsN14: Well at least his “rules” for the car are very practical– I have those same “rules” for myself and my husband (except for the gas mileage one– that’s VERY important to me, but my hubby is a truck guy. He was sweet enough to give up his truck and get a great mileage hatchabck for the time being….but I promised him when we weren’t making TWO car payments (were a car payment free household for a long while!) that he could get his truck– because I don’t mind trucks at all, and actually kinda like them! But the crappy gas mileage and the expense of a truck were a little much right now)– also, I don’t have no foreign rule….depending on exactly what he means by that. I have a Honda. I used to be against American cars LOL– but Ford has really changed my mind so far!
Post # 10
- Wedding: March 2014 - A castle!
MrsEME: I bought my DH a manual as an engagement/wedding present. Annnd I can’t drive it. I’m hoping to have the time for him to teach me this summer. I wanted to get the automatic, but he loves manuals. If it wasn’t like $2k cheaper I would’ve sprung for the automatic, but whatevs. He loves it.. that’s all that mattered to me.
Post # 11
We discuss it but ultimately we each get what we want. If one of us had a strong opinion either way we would consider it. We’re both ‘into’ cars so it’s important to us.
Post # 12
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
It’s a $30k decision. How can that NOT be made jointly? We were engaged when we purchased our current vehicles, and we each had equal input on the purchases.
Post # 13
We got engaged about 5 months after I bought my current car. So FI did not get a say in what I picked, although I am very frugal and practical, so I wasn’t buying something he would have any reason to object to anyway! He doesn’t have a car, but he can use mine when he needs to. If he decided to purchase one at any point going forward I would expect it to be a joint decision in terms of finances and practicality, but if he was considering two cars at the same price and similar features (so two sedans/SUVs, whatever, not a sedan vs. the crazy two seater sports car he really wants but would not be useful in our lifestyle!) he would be able to choose which he wanted as he’s the one who would be driving it most! I would hope the same would apply to me whenever my new car needs to be replaced.
Post # 14
The decision on our vehicles kind of made themselves..
When my car went caput, we needed a bigger vehicle to hold our new family, and we also live somewhere where 4WD is required, so I got a used CRV.
DH needed a work truck powerful enough to pull his work trailer..so we had to get a truck based on that need. lol
DH’s truck is the only vehicle we have ever bought new. Any future vehicles (especially for me) will always be used.
Post # 15
FI and I just went through this debate. We bought a convertible a couple of weeks ago as our third car. Originally, we had decided to sell my car and use the proceeds to buy a fun car for the weekends (we carpool and usually only drive his car on weekdays).
Then, the discussion turned to whether to get a manual or not. Both of our current cars are autos. FI thinks that it would be more fun to have a manual on a weekend car, but I have…issues with manual and have only recently gotten comfortable with it. I didn’t want a manual for the alternate car because that would leave only one car as a viable one for me to drive when I needed it. We actually found a compromise – we kept my car and bought a very cheap older convertible with a manual. That way, we have 2 cars which could be used daily by either of us, and a fun car that can be used if we want to take it out on weekends. Also since it’s an older car, I can learn manual on it and not worry too much. This has been the first time we have bought a car together, so it has been a learning experience for both of us.