BUYING VS RENTING now vs 5-10 years away.

posted 3 years ago in Home
Post # 3
Member
1302 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I think you need to communicate how you feel to him and don’t worry about “upsetting him” by bringing up the topic of moving – he is upsetting you by NOT talking about it! Personally, I think 2.5 years of living with your in-laws is enough. If I were you, I would move out and rent a place if you are not in a position to buy. 

Post # 4
Member
493 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@BabyBrain:  I can definitely see your FI’s point, but if he’s planning on you living with his parents for years after you get married, I do see that as a problem.  That’s not natural – you should have your OWN space and make your OWN life together. 

Maybe you can talk with him about the amount of money he would feel comfortable spending for rent and then try to find an apartment at that price. 

I’m assuming you’re in school to be a teacher… how much longer do you have to go?  I can understand his wanting to go rent free until you have a full time job, especially if making rent would be difficult for you guys right now.  That’s a very different thing then wanting to live with his parents for several years after you get married (and presumably after you both have jobs that would allow you to pay rent). 

Post # 7
Member
493 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@BabyBrain:  Yeah… I think it’s reasonable to set a timeline of getting your own space before your wedding.  He should agree to that!  I don’t think you’re being unreasonable at all… but it depends on how you talk to him about it.  I would definitely approach it from a money perspective since it seems like that’s the way he is thinking.  See if you can get him to agree on a potential budget for rent and then try to find something in that price range… I’m guessing even a tiny one bedroom apartment would make you happier at this point.

Our old apartment’s management had a program where they would put a certain percentage of your rent towards a downpayment for a house, if you bought one of the houses their company also had for sale.  It’s been a couple years so I don’t remember all the details, but I do remember thinking that if we were going to live there for 5 years it would wind up being a pretty good sum of money.  Maybe you could see if something like that exists in your area?  That might make your fiance happier.

I just googled for it… here you go….

http://www.equityapartments.com/content/rent-with-equity-FAQ.aspx#

 

 

 

Post # 9
Member
493 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@BabyBrain:  I hope that helps!  Even if you can’t do a program like that, we’ve been looking at buying homes and there are a number of options that you can purchase for 3% down… which is much easier to manage than 20%. We haven’t looked into that very much so I don’t know if there is some catch, but I’ve seen it advertised.

I think if you get a budget that would allow you to still save some money each month instead of putting everything extra to rent, that would help too.  Like you can say to him, “Would you be ok with getting an apartment if we could still save $100 a month for a house?” He might be more open to that approach.

Hopefully there’s nothing else going on and no other reason he wants to still live with his mother…

Post # 11
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

@BabyBrain:  Ooooh shit. I think I’ve dated your FI. Or the American version.

It was always him and his Mom against the world. He refused to move, even when I found a home for $17,000! It was basically free. He only moved because I made him choose (his Mom or me).

He resented me for the rest of the relationship, and we broke up six months later, the day after Christmas.

Ugh. I hope you have better luck than I did, and that he doesn’t drag his feet!

Post # 13
Member
2831 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

it is possible to raise kids in an apartment- i was raised in a townhouse apartment. well, two of them. we were in a 2 bedroom townhouse for the first 12 years of my life, and then moved two doors down to a 2 bedroom townhouse with a finished basement room which became my room. we lived there until i was 23. just saying that it is possible, and i’d do it in a heartbeat. i don’t think people have to own a home before having kids.

that being said, i also have no issues renting for a long time. both of us have such f*cked up credit due to stupidity in adolescent years, that buying is going to be out of the cards for a good long time. do i want to buy a house? sure. do i feel like we have to do it now? no. we’re barely able to pay the bills as it is now. i can’t even imagine owning a home.

Post # 15
Member
2831 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@BabyBrain:  renting’s not all that bad. is he against renting? if so, has he told you why?

yes, you’re kinda “throwing money away”, but it also makes you look better and more stable on a credit report (i dunno what australia is like, but renting and having a good rental history looks good for a credit report here). do people rent houses? if so, you could rent a house and have that big backyard.

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