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@AB Bride: I think it's okay for a super casual BBQ type get together, but not a fancy dinner party.
It 100% depends on the type of party. Example: FI and I are having a Super Bowl party, and we will have some beer (as well as hard liquor, sodas, juice, etc), but asked people to contribute their own beer if they wanted a particular kind (we're a Corona house only).
For a wedding or other formal event, absolutely not.
i think it depends on the type of party, and I can imagine some types (especially work-related receptions, or formal events like weddings) where it'd be weird. But, I actually think it's rude to show up to a party without bringing a bottle of wine or a sixpack of beer or something, like to dinner parties or bigger parties at someone's home. the hosts will often already have some drinks there too, but everyone usually brings something. when we have parties now we sometimes end up with more booze than we started with.
eta: and I don't think that changes with age, in my social circle at least: my parents always bring wine with them to a dinner party, it's like a gift to the hosts more than byob though
For something super casual, BYOB is fine. Like our monthly game night with friends is potluck AND BYOB, but the New Years Eve party that we hosted was not because it was a bit more pulled together.
I will also note that BYOB allows each person to establish how much they want to spend on what quality of drink, whereas a cash bar at a formal event typically requires people to spend a ridiculous amount on poor to mediocre quality drinks. $5 for a small plastic cup of Coors is just an insult.
@finnaroo: I agree about bringing something, but I see that different as BYOB. It doesn't have to be alcohol that you bring either, it could be a centrepiece, or a dish.
I think I'm reaching a point where BYOB is less acceptable. I'm not sure if it's age/life situation or just outgrowing the types of parties where it's acceptable.
I'm not referring to potlucks or people bringing stuff to a party. More the type of party where BYOB is specified with the party info and you drink what you brought or ask permission of whoever brought the bottle of wine that you're interested in trying.
I would always have alcohol at any party I had, but maybe I would call it BYOB if it was like a college lawn party or block party because you have no way of knowing how many guests will be there.
I just buy 30's of the beer I like and maybe one nice bottle for shots or mix drinks, and then a couple bottles of Boone's Farm for fun. Anyone who has a specific alcohol they like or something they'd like to contribute will just bring their own. Most people don't show up empty handed to a party anyways, so calling it BYOB when you know people will bring booze anyways is a little tacky.
I know with my group of friends whenever we have a get together at someone's house it is always assumed that the host will have a limited amount of drinks to offer and it is byob mostly. That is what we consider the norm. Most of my family events are run as, there will be some drinks but if you want more or something different you bring it.
I would never do it for a wedding or other big fancy event.
It totally depends on the situation. When we have friends over for dinner everyone usually brings a bottle of wine but we never serve that, we provide other wine/beer (unless they really want to drink the wine they brought!).
Friends of mine always host everyone before we go out somewhere for a night out because their condo is downtown. Some people bring a their own, others don't. They've been doing it for so long that they have a pile of bottles left over so it's not really necessary.
I voted depends on the type of party. Casual get togethers, BBQs, stuff like that I think it's fine for. I know everyone says cash bar is tacky but... I personally would much rather attend a cash bar wedding than a BYOB wedding.
A wedding is not appropriate for a BYOB under most circumstances. I however will ask my cousins to BYOB why? Cause when my family saw that my sister only served wine at her wedding...my uncles all went out to the nearest liquor store and bought bottles of whisky to drink under the tables. That is how my family rolls! And my fam is pretty conservative too! SO I figured I didn't want people leaving my reception so I am telling them ahead of time to save them the trouble. We don't have lushes in my fam or alcoholism...but we LOVE to party! It took me forever to convince my FI that it was OK...but we only did this with my family, NOT his! We will be buying rounds of drinks for everyone as it is a cash bar after the first 2 hours.
a lot of times I had people just bring their own beer even when I didnt tell them to....they were being nice. They'd walk in and be like "we got it, lets party!" So I think it's ok if the party is casual...superbowl, BBQ, hangout....
but if the party is so ANY occasion like graduation,engagement, birthday...then no, you invited them to celebrate=you provide everything
I think a host and or hostess should always have a sufficient amount of liqour available for a party. Given it is a drinking party. Not like a baby shower, or an afternoon bbq, but if they are having a New Years eve party, or a dinner party I think beverages that the host knows the friends consume are good to have on hand, it is the polite thing to do. Usually guests will bring a bottle of wine or something over anyways.
A wedding is not appropriate under most circumstances for a BYOB. I am telling my cousins and fam to BYOB though...why? Cause when my family saw that my sister only served wine at her weding...my uncles all went out to the nearest liquor store and bought bottles of whisky back. That is how my family rolls! And my fam is pretty conservative too! SO I figured I didn't want people leaving my reception so I am telling them ahead of time to save them the trouble. We don't have lushes in my fam or alcoholism...but we LOVE to party! It took me forever to convince my FI this was OK to do with my fam. Once he got to know them more he felt totally comfortable with it , but he was pretty horrified at the idea at first. We will not be telling his fam this, we will buy everyoe rounds of drinks all night!
A wedding is not appropriate under most circumstances for a BYOB. I am telling my cousins and fam to BYOB though...why? Cause when my family saw that my sister only served wine at her weding...my uncles all went out to the nearest liquor store and bought bottles of whisky back. That is how my family rolls! And my fam is pretty conservative too! SO I figured I didn't want people leaving my reception so I am telling them ahead of time to save them the trouble. We don't have lushes in my fam or alcoholism...but we LOVE to party! It took me forever to convince my FI this was OK to do with my fam. Once he got to know them more he felt totally comfortable with it , but he was pretty horrified at the idea at first. We will not be telling his fam this, we will buy everyoe rounds of drinks all night!
A wedding is not appropriate under most circumstances for a BYOB. I am telling my cousins and fam to BYOB though...why? Cause when my family saw that my sister only served wine at her weding...my uncles all went out to the nearest liquor store and bought bottles of whisky back. That is how my family rolls! And my fam is pretty conservative too! SO I figured I didn't want people leaving my reception so I am telling them ahead of time to save them the trouble. We don't have lushes in my fam or alcoholism...but we LOVE to party! It took me forever to convince my FI this was OK to do with my fam. Once he got to know them more he felt totally comfortable with it , but he was pretty horrified at the idea at first. We will not be telling his fam this, we will buy everyoe rounds of drinks all night!
When I was younger, everyone brough their own alcohol to parties. But pretty much right after college, people started hosting parties where you just showed up and weren't supposed to bring anything.
I generally bring a hostess gift (wine, candles, etc), but not alcohol that I plan on drinking at the party.
When I was younger, everyone brough their own alcohol to parties. But pretty much right after college, people started hosting parties where you just showed up and weren't supposed to bring anything.
I generally bring a hostess gift (wine, candles, etc), but not alcohol that I plan on drinking at the party.
I think it totally depends on the type of party. Casual get-togethers and backyard cook-outs - totally fine. A more formal dinner party or wedding - definitely not.
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For weddings, we've all heard at least once that cash bars are tacky (whether you agree or not!), because you should be providing for your guests.
What about BYOB parties though? Most of the parties I went to in university were of this type. Even for situations like a stagette that I hosted and supplied a decent amount of booze, most of the girls brought their own.
Is there an age where this becomes unacceptable? Or a life stage (like graduating school and have a decent job)? Or is it ok for a BBQ and not a dinner party?