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I think it's a little different......I would opt for a cash bar over a BYOB. I know in Ontario if the barn isn't commercial then you aren't allowed to sell on it, you can only serve (open bar). I'm not sure what the rules are like in South Dakota.
Hm. Well one of my concerns would be that it would be kind of chaotic logistically. Would people be sitting with their booze in their lap during the ceremony? Where would they put everything at the reception? Also, if people are doing their own pouring, they may get more sloshed than they might if a bartender was in charge. Do you have a plan for getting your guests home safely if they over-imbibe?
I wouldn't be worried about the tackiness as much as I would be worried about the total chaos. Five hundred is a LOT of people. What do you do when someone starts lugging in a keg or people start getting out of control? If you can't afford to provide enough alcohol to be sufficient for guests, I would suggest maybe having a cash bar available.
Are you getting married in a barn on your own property?
If not, I would imagine your state/municipality does have some rules about liquor service.
I work with approving liquor licenses, and while I live in a place that's known for being particularly strict, you probably have some rules/liability issues as well.
An example from our area is that if you host a party, you can be sued if someone leaves drunk and is unable to take care of themselves or causes an accident drinking and driving.
Having a bartender who's well versed in serving alcohol, and cutting people off can go a long way to showing that you took the necessary steps to prevent any problems.
It's not something that I would do. I would suggest offering a cash bar over a BYOB reception. I have a feeling the whole thing can get very messy, especially with 500 guests.
I'd look into the laws in your area before making any definite plans. There may be restrictions on that sort of thing. Try checking with your town, township, or municipality.
my first thought was responsible serving of alchohol - 500 people is mayhem to be able to ensure that no one leaves over the limit and as the host and provider of the booze i feel you have a responsiblity for that not to happen
plus underage drinking also needs to be considered
I think you should just stick to serving beer and wine. You are lucky your venue allows keg beer and wine can be found really cheap so thats great.
I think BYOB is too hard. You would still have to provide glasses, mixers, etc. Plus it kinda puts a weird vibe on the wedding.
I think it'd be very difficult to do - would people be parking their bottles on the table, in the middle of the food & flowers etc? Could get fierce messy. If a cash bar is at all common in your area, I'd definitely go with that instead. Or see if there's any way you can cut that guest list, 500 is nuts!
I know 500 is nuts.. that very normal for my family. We're at 200 with 3 more pregnat (and that's just grandma, her kids, grandkids, and great grandkids). My uncles normally bring there own alcohol to all family functions and in the state of South Dakota, it is legal for 18 year olds to drink with there parents, and we do have transportation set up to go from the reception site to the hotel. I have looked into having a cash bar, but we would have to buy a liquor liscense and that is a huge hassle around here. I just don't know what to do....
The question is really if it would be appropriate in your own social circle. It sounds like BYOB is common in your family. If your guests wouldn't bat an eye, then it's not really a social issue.
A couple kegs aren't that expensive, so you could provide maybe the first drink for everyone, just in case some people don't bring anything.
I hate to admit this but my brother had friends that BYOB. His wedding was at my fathers bf's ranch and I was floored! They rolled in with coolers! With 500 people that will be chaotic. Maybe a bottle of liquor but not 12pks. BTW his friends were very intoxicated. I would rather run out of liquor than a bunch of drunks.
I went to a wedding about four years ago that did that and to be honest it was really awkward. People either didn't bring a lot and consequently left the reception early or were the other extreme and brought a ridiculous amount. The reception felt sort of stilted and awkward... if you intend to have a really informal booze-up (like you would on any other night) then I'd say go for it and let your friends know it's the usual... if you are trying to make it special, I'd probably go with an open/cash bar.
@kitzy: oh thanks for xplaining that!!! And yes I do agree about it not being appropriate. I've never heard of this done at a wedding before
If it's common in your family/circle of friends I say why not! For me, this wouldn't be an option.
Thanks everyone for your help. My FH and I discussed it and I think we're going to talk with the town board and our local bar and see about having a cash bar and those that choose can BYOB. Just hope it won't cost as much as we think it will.
I wouldn't recommend a BYOB for 500 people--like others said, it sounds very chaotic. I also like the idea of a PP to try to trim the guest list. I totally understand having a huge family (you mentioned 200)...but where do the other 300 come from?
If you want to go ultra-frugal, kegs of basic beer (Miller/Bud...or you could even go the frat party route with something cheaper) and boxed wine would not be impossible if you could purchase it yourself. You save tons already by getting to purchae your own alcohol instead of going through a reception site vendor.
Thats what were doing. I think it depends on where people live because where we live thats what most people do. Have a few kegs when they run out everyone has their own and start bringing it out. I mean obviously people are going to get a little crazy or drunk either way if you have a cash bar or they BYOB... but I've never been to one where it was just too out of control or anything. Most people respect that its a reception for a wedding... not a club.
@sassy4: That's exactly what I'm going for Sassy. This will be one of the bigger of family weddings in a while, but we usually have BYOB with cash bar option and nothing ever gets broken and people get rowdy, but they have fun. And with the guys around here, the more alcohol they consume, the more likely theyll get on the dance floor :D
I would say to just have more kegs vs. byob. Since ppl were planning on spending money to buy their own beer & bring it to the reception, perhaps they can either give you the money sooner, or you can have someone collect money at the wedding for the additional kegs.
I think keeping it all kegs will be easier to keep cold, not as much trash, same cost if not less for your guest b/c pitching in for a keg is typically less then buying cans or bottles, and all around easier!
That would be easier if everyone drank beer. I have a surprising amount of family members that don't like beer, including me. We're looking into some of the options others have suggested, but thanks.
i wouldn't do BYOB to any event i hosted... i think if you are hosting, people shouldn't be expected to bring anything. can't imagine having a potluck wedding, and this is the same thing but just with alcohol. a cash bar seems like a suitable alternative for that many people.
Just heard from the county and a cash bar is not an option. Neither is an open bar. We have 2 options, either BYOB or pay a bar to set up at the reception. BYOB much easier with the local bars aware that many guests might stop buy to load up and beer runs will probably be made.
I think BYOB is fine! better that than having nothing! I would be happy that you told me that I could bring my own instead of being disappointed when all runs out!
@GI Josephine: Thanks! That's one of the things I was thinking, that and nobody likes to drink the same thing.
This might be a weird suggestion, but what if you had guests "donate" their favorite bottle to the bar and hire a bartenter to pour? Guests could bring as much as they wanted, even tag the bottom of the bottle if they wanted it back in the end but the bartender would be there to mix the drinks at the proper strength and could keep an eye out for overly imbibed guests. Still BYOB, but with a bit of control. You could supply the mixers as well.
I'm cheap so I say go for it. If the guest think it's tacky then don't have to bring their own bottle and stay sober all night. This is something that I would not stress over. It is your day and NOBODY else helping pay for the liquor, so you do what is best for YOUR pocket.
I think if I had to I would either do no booze at all, cash bar before I do BYOB.
I would be too afraid of the guests bringing too much booze and totally overdoing it!!! Then the next thing you know, you've got drunken guests getting naked and crazy in the venue. If you're paying for everything, do what's best for your budget.
If you're having it where the guests will be staying, then I'd say it's fine. Otherwise, not so fine. I doubt you, or anyone else, wants to hear of any of your friends being in an accident on the way home from your wedding. :)
We're asking our guests to stay at the cabins where we're having our wedding so they CAN enjoy the party without having to worry about driving 2+ hours back home. Of course, our guests also tend to designate a sober driver and/or restrict how much they drink if they have to drive after wards.
@TraceyPat: LOVE that idea! We pretty much already do it that way with part of the family. I have uncles that always bring too many bottles and too many types for the to drink on their own, so they anticipate everyone drinking their alcohol and they normally guard it pretty good all on their own. LOL.
@Zinzerena: My guests getting into an accident is my biggest concern with having alcohol period at my wedding, but the reception is only 1 mile away from where we are staying and I already have a beat up old bus and driver to drive them to and from the hotel. And if they aren't staying, we have already stressed with many of them to make sure they have a DD. But finding a bus and driver is easy, just gotta keep your eyes open for anything other than a school bus (my area has a problem with alcohol and drunks on a school bus whether its during the school year or not), but I'm blessed with an uncle that owns his own :D
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My FH and I are having around 500 guests that drink alot and many different things. We are thinking about doing a BYOB for the reception with kegs and win available until there gone. Our reception is in a barn, so there are no rules for having to have a bar or not being allowed to bring in your own beverages, Is that too tacky?