- 5 years ago
- Wedding: September 2011
Before I start I would like to say that I am in no way against c-sections and I hope that no one feels the need to tell me about how they disagree with my preferred birthing method. I get really stressed out in hospitals and am absolutely terrified of needles so when I got pregnant the first time I knew right away going to a midwife was the best option for me and I successfully delivered my little girl all natural in an out of hospital setting. Well, 3 years later we decide we are ready for number two so we went back to the same midwife hoping to have the same experience and perhaps try delivering in the water this time. All was well until at my 34 week appointment we discovered lo was still breech! We weren’t too worried since it was still pretty early but she did what she could to try to flip her manually, I tried everything possible to get her to turn but alas there I was at 39 weeks with a footling breech baby. I was prepared to go to the hospital to try an external version but my water broke the morning after I made the appointment and so I ended up with a rushed c-section and an unpleasant experience. Don’t get me wrong, I am incredibly greatfull that I have a nice healthy baby and all that but I just can’t help but feel disappointed, I don’t even feel like I have the right to say that I gave birth, I feel like I should say “I had her surgically removed”… And please don’t don’t be offended if you had a c-section also, I am simply venting about how I feel about myself. I am also hoping that I am not the only one that has experienced these feelings and that others would share their experiences and thoughts with me as well.