Weddingbee boards

Here's the deal: I'm not a huge fan of store-bought or bakery-made cakes. Box cakes? Sure. From scratch cakes? Even better. But there's something about the dense texture of commercial cakes that really just doesn't appeal to me. So I'm not sold on having a wedding cake-- why would we pay for something so expensive that I wouldn't even eat?

The FI doesn't have a problem with cake at all. He'll eat just about everything. He doesn't want me to be pissy about the cake, though, so he's (sort of) open to options. He hasn't seen a wedding with no cake, so it kind of freaks him out.

To add to the complications, my aunt is a pastry chef at a nationally-known bakery nearby. She's always assumed she'd make my cake. She's also forbidden me to help with it, which makes me sad. (I would love to help out, even just a little.)

I've brought up the possibility of having maybe a sundae bar (shot down with nasty looks from Mum, and "ice cream" is now the code for "Mum, you're being a bee-atch, you need to stop now."), or maybe having cookies and brownies instead. I'm open to maybe some pies and other pastries, but I just want to be able to enjoy my dessert.

At this point, I'm ready to give in and just let everyone have the effing cake. There's only a little fight left in me for this issue, and it's being reserved for maybe bringing up the possibility of red velvet cupcakes, since *fingers crossed* the cake won't be so dense.

What would y'all do in my case?

I'm not sure if my aunt will charge us for the cake. It probably depends on what we decided to do-- she might do it as our gift if we do a small cake, but she would probably have to charge us something if it's for the whole gang. We're estimating around 125 people. In my experience, the cake texture for cupcakes is a lot airier and fluffier (which I like), but I'm not sure if the same holds true for commercially-baked goodies. Anyone know?

@sunshinebride-- I should have clarified: she's not nationally renowned herself, but the bake shop is. It was on the Today Show a couple of years ago :)

@arizonabride-- I have thought about a chocolate fountain, and just have to look into the price of renting one and having it set up. Mum made a face about that one, too, but in this case, she has no sway (I'm a chocaholic!).

My aunt has made creme brulee and a croquembouche for family parties, and they were both deeeeelish. I just don't want her slaving over it the day of the wedding-- she's a lot of fun at a party, so I want her around!

If you like cakes made from scratch, have you thought about having a bunch of different small cakes (if that taste would be more amenable to you) in different flavors and then your red velvet cupcakes, too? I think that way, your aunt could still be involved, but your preference would be honored as well.

The bakery *does* make the cakes from scratch as far as I know... but I meant more of a "made-from-scratch-by-me" preference (I've spoiled myself... not good). She's made all the cakes for graduation parties over the past couple years, so I know the cakes are pretty good.

My cake issue is with the density of the cake itself. I like airy, soft cake, but I feel like most cakes-- bakery or store-bought-- have a denser texture that I don't like at all.

MissLeah-  Can your aunt make a chiffon or sponge cake?  Both of those are very light and fluffy(chiffon is moister) and you might like them better.  I'm like you but I like chiffon cakes because of the lightness.  That way you can still have a traditional cake but hopefully it will be something you like.

Lots to consider-- guess I picked a good day to post!

Some have mentioned that "since [I] won't eat it, just serve the cake." I just wanted to comment that I do have every intention of eating at my wedding, and that includes dessert. The cake will likely not be free, as the bakery my aunt works at has an average cake price of $600 or so, and that's just not fair for her.

@CienDragon-- she probably can make a chiffon... I just have to ask. We haven't gotten very far in this whole area, partly because the wedding is a year away and partly because we need to figure out what we're doing before we get into the details.

@sleepylittlesailor She's not offering to make the cake but not let us have any say in it... I should have been a bit clearer on that. At this point, she just offered to work with us for the cake, going through the design and whatnot later in our timeline. She's not taking full rein of the cake and just sticking me with whatever she feels like.

@professorbee "She's not letting me help" in that I'm not allowed to be in the bakery, rolling fondant and doodling with royal icing ;) We'll talk about the design and flavors for sure. I just wanted to be hands-on, and she said no way, not so close to the wedding day. She knows me really well, and knows that while I think it's a great idea now, I'll probably be a bit frazzled at the time the cake needs to be put together.

@ejs I'm not worried about hurting her feelings-- she knows I'm not a huge fan of cake, as we've talked about opening bakeries (mine would be cookies and brownies, since that's what I like most). I think the issue is that she assumed that we'd have a cake, but I'm not sure of it. I know that once I get to sit down and talk to her about it that she'll be cool.

What I imagine happening is what a lot of you have mentioned (and kind of what I was leaning toward) and having a small cake for cutting-- and put out slices of it for everyone, not just us-- and also have some other goodies, like maybe a chocolate fountain or cookies/brownies.

Thanks for all your advice!