Post # 1
okay, here’s the low down. My Future Father-In-Law offered to buy our wedding cake saying a women he works with does cakes, he kept telling me he had a book of her cakes that I had to pick one out of and she would make it, blah blah blah. Well last night he finally brought me the book, and let me tell you it was a nightmare! first of all this women has to be in her 70’s, nothing wrong with that, except ALL her cakes were that terrible 80’s style cakes. She only does chocolate or white cake flavors, and I don’t even know what they taste like because he (FFIL) wants me to pick this cake without ever meeting with this women, without telling her directly what I want, and without a cake tasting.
I feel kind of like a bitch, but I simply do not want a tacky dated cake that I will be embarrassed to have photographed and seen by anyone! I don’t want to tell him that I want someone else to do my cake and seem really ungrateful, but it’s my wedding….it’s only going to happen once! I want it to be a dream come true. Everyone has a vision of how they want things to look for their wedding, and these cakes simply DO NOT match my vision.
What should I do ladies?
Post # 3
What’s the saying about gift horses and mouths? You really only have two choices: accept the gift cake and try to make the best of it, or decline the gift and buy your own cake.
Post # 4
That’s a tough one because I get that you wouldn’t want to upset your Future Father-In-Law, but on the other hand, it’s your day and you want to have an awesome cake that reflects you and your Fiance, as well as your theme and tastes. Can you poitely decline? Maybe say that you’re so disappointed, that you’re already locked into a contract with someone else? (and then quickly get a contract lol) Or maybe just try the honest route – thank him for the offer but say that unfortunately you’re just looking for something a little different?
Post # 5
Why dont you just find a picture of a cake that you do like and give it to your Future Father-In-Law and he can ask the woman if she is able to make that one instead of one from her book because it fits your vision better?
Post # 6
I thought of that, just showing her something I do want, but honestly the quality of her cakes aren’t really what I’m looking for. I honestly think I could make what she makes and I’m by far not a professional. My Fiance told me to just tell his dad I wanted to go with something else. But at this point i’m not sure i have a cake in the budget because from the beginning he said he would buy it. I’m just not sure if I am being unreasonable or not lol.
Post # 7
@RAWR.its.BREN: You are definitely not being unreasonable. If you Fiance thinks that you should just tell his dad you wanted to go for something else, then that just confirms it for me. Do it! You’ll feel so much better – and maybe he will still want to help out with the cost of the cake too.
Post # 8
Can you have her make a groom’s cake and then get another cake more to your liking?
Post # 9
Would your Fiance be comfortable asking his Dad how much he is prepared to put towards the cake? He could then explain that the two of you had a different vision than this woman was able to provide. Would Dad be willing to contribute that amount and you could make up any difference necessary to purchase the cake elsewhere?
Post # 10
You: “OMG FFIL! My friend Mary’s sister’s best friend’s cousin Meg had the most amazing wedding cake, it was so cool, it was like nothing I’d ever seen before and I did a little investigating about the bakery and the reviews were spectacular. And the photos on their website are AMAZING. They’re so creative and different, and the flavors sound so delicious — I showed the website to Fiance and he got really excited about their X flavor, doesn’t that sound amazing? I know your friend was maybe going to make our cake, but we just HAVE to use this bakery. Of course I know you offered to pay for your friend to make the cake, so we’ll understand if you’d rather we take that expense back and we’d be happy to pay for the cake ourselves. Let me show you this sketch I made about our ideas for the design…”
You’d have to have a particular personality to pull this off. I think if you did it right Future Father-In-Law would probably offer to pay for at least part of the new cake, and in the long run I think you’ll be happier if you have to pay for the cake you want than if you settle for a “free” cake that you hate.
Post # 11
I am also going thru a similar experience such as yours. My Future Mother-In-Law is dead set about making our wedding cake from regular box cake. I am at witts end with it and will not have her create a 80’s style wedding cake. I haven’t had the guts to tell her just yet. I keep telling my Fiance that she shouldn’t waster her time and energy with making it. I’ve showed her pictures of the cake I want but it doesn’t come close to the picture and it was even falling apart. I dont want to be rude or seem ungrateful, but I can’t have my wedding cake fall to pieces at the same time. So today, I have decided that I am buying a cake and was so fortunate to find a bake shop that would take my order 2wks prior to my wedding.
I would come forward with Future Father-In-Law and tell him how you feel. It is your day and you have to be happy. Best of luck.