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Ok, so here is the dilemma. I think cake smashing can be messy and well, not so fun -you know, where the Bride & Groom are supposed to gingerly feed each other a piece of cake and instead they smash it in each other's faces? Well, FI is stuck on wanting to smash cake in my face - he seems to think it's not a true wedding without it. I do not want my makeup and hair ruined by this, nor do I particularly want cake all over my face and up my nose. I have expressed this to him and he acts like he plans to do it regardless.
Thoughts? Have any of you dealt with this?
Thanks,
Bella
I agree with you. I dislike it, but I am lucky that my FI agrees. Have you tried suggesting an alternative? I have heard of the couple just dabbing icing on each others noses or something cute like that. He still ensures you wear baked good; you don't have too much to clean off. Hope you find a compromise!
I didn't want it either. My husband knew that I would probably kill him if he did it to me and he didn't want me upset at him.
LOL - oh, MissAsB FI knows I would be more than upset I'd be downright fuming. He doesn't seem to care though...
I would not be happy if FI smashed me with cake. Unless I was totally onboard before hand. Yikes! I hate anything on my face, especially food!
I am NOT a fan of cake smashing, either. First, it'll ruin my makeup, which I'll be spending time and money on. Second, it's a waste of perfectly good cake. My FI also doesn't like it, and actually told me that the only thing I could possibly do to ruin the wedding day would be to smash cake in his face. He REALLY doesn't like it!
I hate cake smashing, personally. If FI did that he knows I would be bull and he wouldn't get any that night. I also don't get it because why would you want it up your noise, ruining your make up and possibly getting on your dress!
Saeliz, we're in the same boat! My FI would be sleeping on the couch if he did it... lol
Considering that feeding cake to each other symbolizes how you will take care of each other and never let each other go hungry, there's no way anyone will be smashing cake in my face. I don't hold with violence, and I told CiarraiMan that if he tries to do anything other than nicely feed me, our marriage will be over before it begins.
Let your groom know that CAKE SMASHING is in the mostly TACKY category... very rarely is it viewed as "cute"
We are sooo not doing this. FI knows that I will not be happy when my hair and make up is ruined! And god help him if it gets on my dress.
If your groom is really set on it maybe you could do a trial at home to let him know just how much he can get away with. Like, just a little teeny dab on your nose so he can get it our of his system.
Cake smashing is definitely on my no-no list, good think my fi feels the same way. I have never understood why you would want to start off your marriage by smashing cake in each others faces. It just doesn't seem kind or loving. Plus, all that money for hair and makeup, just to have it ruined by cake!
I recently read in some bridal magazine that couples who smash cake in each other's faces (or at least do more than just "gingerly feed it to each other") are MORE likely to get divorced. I wish I had the article to give the exact research but I only remember the quote. I have never been a fan - this statistic is even more reason why I will never allow FH to do so - and thank God he doesn't want to anyway.
Honestly, I think this tradition is totally disrespectful. There is no time when my FH would smash food into my face, especially not right after I spent hundreds on my hair and makeup! Teehee ;-)
Honestly though, I have only seen this happen once in real life at weddings, so I’m not sure how really traditional and how much “tv/movie traditional” it is.
We will be gingerly and sweetly feeding it to each other for our wedding. After we were married we had a little cake and we had a heck of a go. But we were also in jeans and coats being silly in the backyard. Let me tell you from previous experience picking cake out of places it shouldn't be and out(and off of) the dress is beyond irritating.
I think a little dollop of frosting on the nose is cute, but I am not wild about smashing the whole piece ... especially after spending all that money on hair and makeup.
I agree with Mermaid - a dab of frosting on the nose is cute, but he better now dare smash it in my face, and I've told him that. I don't think he wants it in his face either. My reasoning is because I've had it done to me... I was MOH at my sister's wedding and for the cake part, that told me to stand behind her and Best Man to stand behind BIL - they said it was for pictures. Well when they were suppose to get each other, they turned and got us. I got cake and frosting in my nose, in my eye (with contacts in) and in my false eyelashes. I was LIVID. Frosting burns when it's in your eye and my eye was all red and bloodshot for the whole night. My makeup looked wierd because it was partially off on one side. And the whole time I had to pretend like it was funny. It wasn't. I'm so not dealing with that on my wedding day!
DH and I had the same dilema (him wanting to smash cake, me not wanting too)...Well, DH really wanted to have a first dance even though we weren't having dancing at the reception. Well, I HATE to dance. So, I compromised. I agreed to have a first dance if he agreed not to smash the cake. It worked beautifully.
I HATE cake smashing.
A few years ago they made a study of how marriages that had cake smashing at the wedding had more than double the divorce rates. One more reason to stay away from it!
I see it as disrespectful too. I mean, many brides spend alot of money on their dress and on getting their hair and makeup done and that icing is colored icing which is a type of dye, and if it gets on your dress, it's possible you could not resale it or even get the spot out. You know how much we spend on our dresses so that doesn't make sense to me, in fact it's wasting YOUR hard earned money imho when a guy does that. I saw several brides in my time end up with icing on their dress and a spot that looked awful in pics and basically ruined the fabric.
And messing up your makeup or hair which you spent maybe a few hundred dollars on just to smash a cake in your face?
My FI knows he dare not touch any icing or anyting like that to my face and that cake smashing is a no no. Only time permitted is imho, at a kids' party where they dive in head first and that is funny. Plus washing kids' clothes is far different from getting a stain out of an expensive dress.
I am def in the no smashing zone.
@desert_teacher - that's an interesting statistic!
I totally agree that smashing cake in the face of the person you supposedly love just seems wrong and so unromantic! Fiancé and I agreed a long time ago we wouldn't do that.
I don't think it is traditional-at least for people i know. I've never seen it done, and it is considered rude and " a bad sign."
so NOT happening... he will be in BIG trouble if he does...lol
I feel that cake smashing is disrespectful, a waste of money (hair, makeup, dress, cleanup fees), a waste of the time and a waste of effort I put into looking beautiful for this one and only day. Why don't I just wear sweats up the aisle instead since clearly my desire to have a beautiful wedding is meaningless next to his need to have an elementary-school food-fight. *Tantrum over*
Well, I have a tendency to be very emotional. So...if he did it anyway I'd probably burst into tears... No kidding...
Then later I'd bill him for the damage. 
Yeah, totally not going to happen. FI is on my side, but if he wasn't I would make him be on my side. I think it's totally rude...and I don't see how it's loving to smash food into your new wife's face. It's just gross. I think you need to stick to your belief and really convey how pissed you will be. Hopefully he wouldn't really want to seriously piss you off in front of all of your guests. This is a total non budge issue for me.
Definitely not! I would be sooo not happy. I just know we are going to have to have a talk about this before the wedding though...I have a feeling he would try it if I don't outlaw all forms of cake-smashing beforehand lol!
I would not be impressed. I think FI has the message loud and clear that there will be no cake smashing. Luckily I'm marrying a neatnik, and I don't think the idea would make him very happy either.
Hate it so much. FI is very playful, so I could see him wanting to do a little smashing, but we discussed it very early and I told him "no way!" He totally understood, luckily.
i told my fi that if he dares to do this he has to run because i will kill him. so he promise me he would not do it because he dont want to mess up his clothes...
I swear...if he did it, I'd push his face into the darn cake.
I only saw one couple do it. He did it to her first, then she got a look on her face and retaliated. She did get mad afterwards (a cousin of mine) and she had to go back into the dressing area to get her makeup touched up again. Not a good foot to start off on imho.
I swear...if he did it, I'd push his face into the darn cake.
I only saw one couple do it. He did it to her first, then she got a look on her face and retaliated. She did get mad afterwards (a cousin of mine) and she had to go back into the dressing area to get her makeup touched up again. Not a good foot to start off on imho.
I wasn't going to comment on this post, but after seeing there is not one pro-cake smashing post I felt the need to defend the tradition. I don't really see what the big deal is about it and I also don't see the need to call it disrespectful or tacky... but to each their own. But to say that you're more likely to divorce if you do it?!? cmon now.
I will definitley be participating in the cake smash. I don't see it as disrespectul but a sign that a couple is playful and can laugh at each other. We will be cutting our cake towards the end of the night so I don't really care about my hair and make up at that point. Pictures will be taken and since i'm a spaz, I'll have likely already spilled something on my dress.
if it's not your thing I can respect that, but can we leave the "T" word out of this please. Thanks.
It's disrespectful and there is nothing traditional about it. You didn't spend $X to get dressed up nicely and then be covered in icing and cake.
I agree with the majority on this one, you spend too much time and money on hair and makeup to have cake smashed on it. Plus unless you are lucky enough to have the cake incluced in your venue price, that's money wasted too. once the wedding reception is near over you don't have to worry about the diet you worked so hard on, enjoy that piece of cake in your belly not on your face.
I refuse to do it. At first, my FI was like yours. He thought it was fun. I said that if I am spend hundreds of $$$ on hair and makeup and thousands on photography, we are not having any ridiculousness like that.
When I put it in terms of money, he backed down. :)
@MissDoodles and anyone else who is pro-cake-smashing, I want you to know that I REALLY respect you SO much. I covet the playful and laid-back approach you have to the tradition. I'm just too uptight, I think. ;)
I don't like it. I don't think most people like to see it done. It makes me feel awkward as a guest. It just seems so sad to do that at your wedding.
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