Post # 1
I was engaged to the father of my kids, we were going to get remarried after we were divorced for a few years, but his ugly side showed and caught him doing things so I dumped him. I still love him but my kids deserve better than his ups and downs and never knowing what he wants and showing up when he feels like it. I’m starting over, but I still have the dress I bought for the wedding. It’s perfect for me, so unique and completely matches my theme I’ve dreamed of since I was 12. I was 8 months pregnant when I first got married, and wore maternity pants lol, so I’ve never experienced or had a real wedding. I’m not sure what to do with the dress though. Is it inappropriate to save it in case I find prince charming (I’m not convinced he’s out there at this point in life), or is it like saving an engagement ring and would it creep out any future guy? Or do I take some pretty professional pictures in it (I have friends willing to do them free) just with me so that I get to wear it and feel beautiful, and then sell it, or is that creepy too? Thoughts? Ideas? I can’t trash it, my mom bought it and it would crush her, but open to anything else.
Post # 2
I think you should do whatever feels right, and not worry about whether it’s creepy or weird! If you want to take pictures in it, do it. If you want to have a movie night in it, do it. You deserve to feel beautiful and enjoy it, if that’s what you want and what feels right. My bff called off her engagement but kept her dress. She loves it; her fiance never saw it, and it has nothing to do with him. A couple of years later she is thinking of letting go and selling or donating it, but I think some of that has to do with the fact that she may no longer fit in the dress, not because she doesn’t still love it and wouldn’t still wear it if the time came.
I also worked with a woman whose daughter in law got married in a dress she had purchased during a previous engagement. The mother in law felt like it was such a blessing that she had this beautiful dress already paid for; didn’t matter at all that it was from a previous engagement. So do what you think is right for you!
Post # 3
Keep it if you want to. You can always change your mind and sell it.
Post # 4
A dress is a dress. Its not like you bought it for him, so my practical
side says to keep it. If it is your perfect dress and you are sure it will be in the future, it seems silly to get rid of it.
Post # 5
kaydrelia: I would keep it!!! I don’t think that’s weird or wrong in any way. You never know, Prince Charming might be on the way and you might get to use your dress! If you never remarry, if you have a daughter she might appreciate the dress in the future. I’d keep it!!!! 🙂
Post # 6
- Wedding: July 2014 - Prague
It sounds like you bought the dress for you and the dream wedding you had in mind– not that no-good man. So I’d go ahead and keep it if you think the style won’t become dated.
Good for you for making the choice not to marry a loser!
Post # 7
kaydrelia: I kept mine for nearly 3 years, after my ex broke off the engagement. I loved that dress, and it didn’t feel weird, because I’d never worn it. And I knew I wasn’t keeping it to hold onto the past or anything, but because I’d paid Good money on a gorgeous article!!!
But on getting serious with my FI (before he proposed) I gave it to charity. I figured that I’d want a new dress when we did decide to get married. And I’m glad I did. It would be too big for me now, and wouldn’t really fit the style of me or my wedding now. But I’m glad I’d kept it just in case. I’m going dress shopping for a new dress next Wednesday!
Post # 8
Do whatever you want with it. If yuo think you may wear it another point in your life, then keep it! I wouldn’t worry about what a future boyfriend/FI would think. kAs a general rule, women invest *way* more emotional energy and symbolism into these things than men do (though I’m sure there are exceptions). Also, why would you ever need to tell a new guy that you had saved your dress from a previous engagement? If you store it in a non-see-through garment bag, a new guy would never even know it was there…
Post # 9
i still kept my dress from my previous engagement. i loved that dress too much to dontate it, sell it or whatnot. i told my bf (now my FI) about the fact that i already had a dress and i wasnt sure what to do. he said if you still love it then that all that matters. i say if you really really love it, keep it in storage until you find a reason to wear it. i had that dress in storage for 3 years. i lost a lot of weight since i bought it and i know i will have to drop a small fortune in getting it altered but c’est la vie. i still love the dress and everyone says it’s so me. and to be honest, if i went dress shopping now for a new dress, i’d proabably still end up with a similar looking dress. so keep it – you never know 🙂
Post # 10
I kept the promise ring my ex gave me (at his insistance because he was convinced we’d get back together) but I never wore it again. It was a reminder of a relationship that sucked, and a reminder that I’m a completely different person with different goals and aspirations now than I was at 19.
I say sell the dress or give it to charity. In a few years you might be walking down the aisle with a new man, and by that time the dress and your idea of a dream wedding could be outdated/not fitting with your personality and style.
Post # 11
If you’re unsure I see no reason to part with the dress right now. Down the line your style could change but then it also could remain the same and it would be a waste to have to search for another dress when you had the perfect one. If you want something different later that’s easy enough to manage.
Post # 12
You ladies have been awesome!! Such good advice and points! I think I’ll get a drastic haircut I’ve been wanting (something my ex didn’t want me to do) and take advantage of the free pictures in the dress. I’ll hang onto it in case I do end up with a new guy, and see if at that time I still want that dress or a new one, and if I get a new one- I’ll have memories of being beautiful in the dress regardless of the pain that came before it. Kind of like closure I guess, but longing to feel beautiful at the same time if that makes sense.