Calling all family members

posted 2 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 2
Member
2455 posts
Buzzing bee

ment.to.be2013:  What? That they do or they don’t? If they DO want it to be just them, that’s total normal and expected and I don’t blame them. Be understanding.

If they DON’T want to be alone, ask them what they need. Do they want someone to hold the baby while they take a shower? Cook or help keep up the house?

Post # 3
Member
2566 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I’m confused.  Basically, they just want to be alone with their baby for the first 5/6 days?

Post # 4
Member
4410 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Making sure I understand: these are family members who are expecting a baby, and they’re saying they want company for the birth and the first 5 days? Or did you mean to say they DON’T want company?

In either case, I would understand. Bringing a new baby into the world is an intense and personal experience. People all deal with it differently, and reasonable requests should always be honored.

 

Post # 5
Member
145 posts
Blushing bee

ment.to.be2013:  I’m thinking that you’re meaning that this family member wants to be alone during the birth and up to 5 days afterward… so here’s the answer to that question.

I’d completed understand as they’ve just had a baby.  Her body is going to be a rollarcoaster in terms of healing, emotions and all the while having to care for a new little being.  For some people, the last thing they want is company when they have a nurse changing their oversized new diaper and checking on their stitches in that area for their stay at the hospital.  This is all from experience with a friend who only had myself and her immediate family (parents) as visitors and she even said that if we’d all leave, she’d be happy.  Sounds mean but she was exhausted and couldn’t do anything by herself without help from a nurse.  I wasn’t mad at her, I understood and let her have her rest.  There’s plenty of time to see the baby after that 5 days!

Post # 6
Member
18 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2015 - St. Thomas USVI

I actually had a conversation about this with my FI the other day. Recently a friend of ours had a baby, and before the parents could even announce it pictures of the baby were flying around on social media. They went into the room immediately after the baby was born and even put up pictures of the mother sprawled out on the bed practically passed out. I thought it was extremely inappropriate! I’m not pregnant but I ever do decide to have a baby I don’t want anyone around for the first 5 days either. Everyone is raised differently and have different ideas about levels of privacy. I think five days is perfectly fine. 

Post # 8
Member
4163 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

Either way, I would respect the parent’s wishes and wouldn’t be upset. Our LO will be arriving next week, and we’re having just the grandparents visit the hospital. My Mom will be coming to stay and help out at some point, but we’re going to let her know when. And we’re probably not having any other visitors the first week.

The hospital nurses stressed several times in our classes to limit visitors for the first two weeks. There’s not that much of a difference for visitors from Day 1 to Day 6 (although by Day 6 the baby’s color, etc. will be a little better.)

Post # 9
Member
2913 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

It is  their baby, they can do what they want.

Post # 10
Member
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

ment.to.be2013:  I understand where they are coming from and would absolutely support their decision. Ultimately it is up to them. It was easy for me to say the same thing when I was pregnant, but after the birth of my son I wanted to share him, and I did. However, we did keep visitors to a minimum when we got home until we were ready.

It’s their baby, and it’s whatever they feel comfortable with.

Post # 11
Member
3756 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

People have the right to feel how they feel. So yeah, someone can get mad all they want at a parent who wants privacy for the first week. Do I personally think it’s ok to be mad at a parent that asks for privacy for the first week? Absolutely not. Becoming a new parent is a daunting adventure and if they want time to themselves to adjust, take all the time you need my friend. I personally plan to allow visitors but I’m very close with my family and friends and they are very excited for us and I want to share the experience with them. But it’s parents’ preference first and foremost and people should respect their wishes!

Post # 12
Member
195 posts
Blushing bee

I’m not sure if you’re complaining because you can’t see someone else’s baby for 5 days after they’re born, or if you’re asking if other people would have a right to be upset if you say you don’t want any visitors for 5 days.

I don’t have any kids yet but after going through labor and delivery, plus trying to adjust to taking care of a newborn with no schedule to speak of, I might want a few days alone to deal with it all before having friends and family around who I have to ‘entertain’ when I’ve probably not been sleeping or eating well for over a week.

I don’t understand what there is to be upset about. It’s not your (the visitors’) baby, and a week-old baby looks more or less the same as a one-day-old baby. The world won’t end if you don’t see that kid for a week.

Post # 14
Member
795 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I actually told my husband that I didn’t want his parents nor mine at the birth. I also told him that when I’m ready to have guests, whether that be at the birthing center or after we get home, we’ll let them know. He’s all for it and says he gets it. I just hate how everyone bombards new mothers and I want that time with my new family to bond – just the three of us.

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