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I think it totally depends on the program. There isn't a blanket answer to that. Is he teaching? Doing research? How many actual classes does he attend? Are there rules for absences?
I would talk to your profs before you book anything. And you all know your respective programs best. When I was in graduate school there were semesters when that was feasible, and then others where it just wasn't. But I've generally found that people are willing to give you the time if they know ahead of time.
He doesn't teach. He does some research, but has several labmates who also do research. He usually has about 4 classes per week. Not sure about rules for absences...I think it's more like getting in good with the professors so they don't get the impression that he wants to slack off...which couldn't be further from the truth! We just want ONE week.
Agree with Jocelyn. This is going to depend on your individual programs and schools. Currently, I attend graduate school at night and work full time. I only take two courses, so two nights a week. If I didn't have a presentation or anything that particular week, I could easily skip a week because it would only be missing one class for each course.
I would talk to your professors individually.
I think this depends. The school I go to caters to part-time students... which means a lot of time we have to miss class b/c of business travel. See if his school is also that way... good luck! ^_^
I think it really depends on his program. If he teaches classes and would have to find someone to cover for him, probably not the best idea. If he is taking classes (especially if he's in the sciences and would miss labs), maybe not a good idea either. But if he's mainly working on his dissertation and wouldn't miss anything earth-shatteringly important, it might be fine. It's hard to say without knowing more about his program.
When I was in college, my Latin TA did take time off mid-semester for his honeymoon (which made me sad because I had a huge crush on him, but that's another story, haha) and it didn't seem to cause him any problems. The professor just held extra office hours in lieu of TA hours. So it can be done, but I think your FI should really talk to his advisors and any faculty he might work with -- they'll be able to give him the best advice.
ETA: apparently I'm a slow typer -- there were no responses yet when I started this!
That's a tough one. it would never work for my husband--he wouldn't be able to do it (he hates missing class!) and it would be really disruptive and harmful to his education.
but I agree that it depends on the program and should be discussed with professors and/or an advisor!
OMGoodness yeah, that'd be killer for me. I'm in mechanical engineering finishing up my masters. With labs, reports, studying hours each day, weekly quizzes/midterms. It'd never work for me and I'm not full time student (I'm working a full time job as an Engineer). Maybe his program is different? I couldn't even imagine a week while I was undergrad. Even if he finished the work the week prior and submitted to the prof's (like before going on your honeymoon), the week prior will be majorly stressful for him trying to double up on schoolwork, then he'll be catching up the week after he gets back double-time too.
It really depends on the program - but I am sure if he asks his supervisor to have a week for his honeymoon - I am positive they will say yes!
My only worry would be his course work!
Good Luck!
Whew. Ok. Here's some more info on the sitch:
He's getting his Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology. This will be in his second semester. I think his only "lab" is a Statistics Lab where they do stuff with SPSS (Stats software). He has the occasional huge paper due, which usually takes a couple of weeks before of really hard work. The biggest thing is his weekly Lab meeting. That's where they discuss what they've done on research projects and plan how to move forward. He's just now registering for classes next semester...so I'm hoping he can talk to the professors NOW and the heads up will earn him a little bit of grace.
Is it callous of me to ask this of him? If I weren't in midterms during his spring break, I'd put it off till then and deal with it myself.
It seems like your FI doesn't want to take off of school, so I think that pretty much answers it for you. You say that he is just now registering... is there any way to postpone making a decision about the honeymoon or buying tickets until he actually starts the classes and can get a feel for them? It would totally stress me out, and I probably wouldn't be able to totally relax on the trip if I was missing a week and had to play catch up when I got back.
I'm in a lab based grad program, and I could totally take a week off whenever (but I don't get any fall or summer breaks so I might have a different situation than your FI). In PhD programs that take 4-7 years to finish, missing one week won't really matter.
As for class-work, he should be able to get notes from a classmate, I mean what if he had the flu? Usually professors are really accomodating.
We are going to get married and honeymoon in between our winter and spring semesters. We have one month: January. So that's when it will be for us.
I would say it depends on his adviser and where he is in the program. If he's a first-year clinical student, it would be really difficult to miss a week of school - especially if he is taking an intensive stats course or has a TA/RA assignment. Is there any alternate option? For example, could you take a mini-moon during a long weekend and then a longer honeymoon at the beginning of the summer?
I'm in a PhD program as well (social psych), but our wedding will be during a semester when my adviser is on sabbatical and I don't have any classes/TA responsibilities. Actually, our wedding is the day after my semester ends!
Good luck!
I think it's fine to ask but he has to be comfortable with it, just don't try to force him to do something he's not comfortable with. Missing lab meeting for us was never that big of a deal - especially if it's because you're getting married - but then again grad school is so different for every person he really needs to talk to other people in his lab and program to figure out if it will work.
My Fiance and I are both in grad school- he is halfway through his PhD and I just started my masters. He also does mostly research-- I know that I have to take Summer 1 off this year because of the wedding/moon/moving thing, but he doesnt have the option to not take class/go to work. I dont know how we are going to make a moon work; I just hope the head of his lab is understanding!
From what you are saying, it sounds like your FI is still taking classes. Both my FI and I are in PhD programs, but we are finished with class requirements and only do research, so it would be easy to take a week off in the middle of a semester. But even if he is taking a couple classes, it might be possible to take a week off if the professors don't mind. It just looks bad because graduate level classes are generally really small.
I second others who say that if he's still in classes, then it's probably not the best idea. I couldn't tell from your post if his stats class is a serious thing or a non-graded skills seminar/reading group. If the latter, it's probably fine (although, this totally depends, again, on his supervisor). If the former, it wouldn't fly in my department--and it sounds like that's more likely, if he's in his second semester.
Can you do something shorter now and plan this as an awesome anniversary trip in a few years, when he's out of classes and just in the research/writing stage?
The reason others are warning you not to push it is that your fiance's supervisor has an enormous amount of power over his career, so he really doesn't want to do anything that will annoy him or her. S/he might let your fiance go, but it still might impact his/her opinion of your fiance's professionalism & dedication. Not saying this is fair, but it's the reality of the power structures in academica. Your fiance really cannot afford to do something that rubs his supervisor the wrong way, and so if he thinks that this request might, you're probably going to have to accept that.
I would never do it.
My post grad work is a bit different as I am in vet school, but our professors reserve the right to issue a failing grade for missing any class or lab unless you have an approved note. My sister was in an accident and broke several bones in her face, had a concussion and had to under go an emergency plastic surgery and the school made me bring in her medical records and proof that we were related all because I wanted to go home for the surgery and miss 2 days of class. I know that it sounds extreme but that is just the way school is. And I would never be able to catch up on the material that I would miss if I were gone a week.
Honeymoon - 1 week.
Ph.D. program/career - lifetime
I agree with others that talking with professors is the best way to go. In my PhD program there were weeks I could miss and many I could not, particularly when teaching was involved. But I think Jacqi raises a great point about whether your FI is truly comfortable with doing this. That is the most important part of the equation and could affect his/your enjoyment of the honeymoon.
I'm a DMA candidate and if it helps, I'm getting married the saturday after my finals, but because I'm getting married 400 miles away, I'm taking a whole week off just before finals to get everything finalized before the wedding. I talked to my professors before hand, and they were fine with it. By this time in the semester everyone is working on their final papers and project and class for us is relatively optional. Take a look at what he'll be doing around that time, it may work, or you may have to wait, but don't try and do it during your midterms!!
When I did my MA I could have missed a week. A lot of people took a week or two when they went to conferences, or disapeared from classes to do research somewhere. I guess maybe it was my program (Asian Religions) where research meant going overseas. I took a week off to visit family when I was a research assistant for a professor, and she was okay with it as long as I did more work before and after. But I'm with the other posters....it totally depends on the profs and the program....
It all depends on the program. In mine it would not be an issue. It would be hard to make up classes but as long as you have a good relationship with the profesors and are already a good, solid worker, it shouldn't matter. I work 12 hour days and as a result, I do not feel bad about my 1 or 2 week/year vacations. In fact, I will be missing 3-4 classes for my wedding and honeymoon. That being said, I do have friends in programs where even taking work off at Christmas is greatly frowned upon. If he teaches, then he will need to find friends to stand in for him.
I think it depends on the relationship you have with your professors. A good friend of mine got married 3 weeks ago and she took off several days (I don't think it was a week but still) before and after. She has a really good relationship with her professors and her department so she just asked for the time and they said okay. It doesn't hurt to ask.
That being said, I would be more worried about the stuff you would miss during the break but if you're on top of things (which I'm sure you are) that probably wouldn't be a problem :)
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Hi Gals and Guys,
We're getting married between my Jan. Term and spring semester and in the middle of his spring semester. We'd like to spend a week in Tolfino (little island town in British Columbia...don't worry about where it is) during Storm-watching season (November to March) so ideally...the week after the wedding. However, this would mean FI is missing a week and a half of his Ph.D. program. Can this work? He asked me if we could go during his spring break later in the semester which would require me to take a week off from school. I'm not sure if that works for my schooling either, especially since that's right when hardcore midterms are.
We originally planned to honeymoon in May after school got out, but I just found out I have to do an intensive internship starting two days after finals and leading up to when he starts back for the fall semester...so that's out. :(
Here's what I'm asking: Would we be crazy to take at least a week off in the middle of the semester to honeymoon?