Weddingbee boards

We're doing a Quaker-style marriage certificate and would like to retain the feel of the traditional wording.  The tricky part it that it's straining my grammar.  :-) 

Would you bees be willing to look at this and check it for grammatical/comprehension/any other errors?  

"On this, the 12th day of September, Two Thousand Nine in Palisade, Colorado

Caitlan C_______

daughter of Dad and Mom,

&

Jed M_______

son of Dad and Mom,

having declared their intentions to each other and having been given the blessings of their family and friends, joined in marriage by each taking the other by the hand in the presence of God and knowing the others faults and strengths, promised to be loving and faithful to each other for long as they both shall live.

As a further confirmation thereof, they set their hands to this certificate

[His signature]     [My signature]

And witnesses, in declaration of their support of the marriage, set their hands to this certificate

[Everyone else's signatures]"

Thanks so much! Hopefully it didn't make your brain hurt as much as it did mine!

Awesome!  Thank you so much!  (Feel free to continue with the suggestions!) 

Re: the 12th vs the twelfth - I kept going back and forth on this one, but I think you're right.  If one's spelled out the other should be as well. 

Re: the running-on-and-on (and Holy Commas, Batman!)- It definitely is a run on sentence, but that's one of the quirky things about the traditional wording that I want to preserve.  I've been teasing my fiance that he's going to love the wording because there are SO MANY commas in it.  (He's an unashamed comma abuser.) 

Re: other's not others - Dang it.  I knew that one!  :-)

missrain - I like taking the other's hand and one another.  Thanks!

Surgie - I'm still fighting with the verbs, but you might be right about promise instead of promising...  (Anyone else ever notice what a weird word promise is?  Promise, pro-mise, reminds me of demise....  lovely.)

Bruschetta - Good catch with the backwards "as long"!  Hopefully my aunt would have caught that when she wrote it out otherwise that would have bothered me for years!  I like adding the "also" at the end as well.  And it's definitely not wrong at all!  I'm glad to take full advantage!  ;-)