- 6 years ago
- Wedding: April 2014
so i posted a thread kind of about this yesterday but we have finished writing everything and i need an outside opinion before submitting our mini-biographies and our essay. i would love love love if you wonderful ladies can read through this and give your honest opinion. WARNING::: they asked for long so we are going to give em long!
I will just start off by saying that i am simply Ashley. I’m probably not that original really but I’m honest and i have a very clear sense of who i am. i like things like animals, crafts, music, and photography. i don’t like things like close-mindedness, prejudice, and spiders. i have a sense of humor that sometimes gets me in trouble and i try enjoy life to the fullest (not always successful but hey nobody’s perfect).i mean we only get one crazy life to live and there will never be another day exactly like today. i am a pastry chef turned stay at home mom and its the best career move i have ever made. seriously i feel like i won the baby lottery with my son. he is the happiest kid i have ever seen. i am engaged to the best man in the entire world (though my opinion may be slightly biased) who has been my rock and my best friend through the good and the bad that has came our way. he is an amazing father to our son and i don’t know what i would do without either of them. i have amazing friends and family who make me feel like the luckiest person in the world. i may be young but i have come to appreciate that life is the thing that happens between your plans and that to really appreciate the good in life you need to accept the bad. i love life, my family, and i have learned to love myself and to me those are three of my greatest accomplishments.
My name is Terry *****. I am 26 years old and currently unemployed. Though I went to culinary school to become a chef certain physical problems that have shown up in my 20’s make it hard for me to continue cooking even though it is one of the greatest passions I have in life. My general interests other than cooking are: technology as a whole, mechanics, woodworking, and history. I like to work with my hands and I like to find out where things came from and why we have them. When I can I would like to go back to school to study anthropology and become a nutritional anthropologist. I have a loving son who every day makes me laugh, and a loving fiance who keeps me in check. I love to laugh and enjoy life as I go through it. my biggest daily goal is to find the humor in bad situations. I’d like to think that I’m fairly level headed and easy going, most of my friends would describe me as “ if the world were to end tomorrow this is the guy I could trust to get me through.” In truth I would probably be just as scared as any of my friends but I would do my best to make sure that they got through. My fiancee Ashley will often refer to me as her rock of stability. In a sense I guess its true. As I said I always try to find the good in the bad. Being from a not as well to do family I have had plenty of opportunity to practice. If there were one quote that I tried to exemplify it would be “Life is like a game of cards. The hand you are dealt is determinism; the way you play it is free will” -Indian Prime Minister Nehru.
like many couples Terry and I started out as friends. having just moved from another state Terry was literally the first person i met. We went to high school together. i was the lonely freshman and he was the “super-cool” senior or at least that’s always the way it seems. we managed to keep in touch through the years as he finished school and college and eventually moved away for a few years. i always thought there was no way that he could think of me in any romantic way. i have never been happier to be so wrong. Four years later and i was starting college and he was in town visiting his family. i finally got the nerve to speak up about my feelings and turns out i wasn’t some crazy starry eyed girl, well maybe i was but, he saw past that and could love what he saw. i used to read romance novels and read about how love sneaks up on you until you don’t know how or when it started but it just kinda socks you in the face one day. It’s funny how you always think something is crazy until it happens to you.
We have been together for over 3 years now. it may seem a bit fast but we were living together by the time we had been together for about nine months. by the time a year rolled around we were very seriously talking about marriage. to the point where Terry had picked out the ring and taken me to see it to make sure its the one i wanted. we both had pretty decent jobs. we had enough income to pay all of our bills and have money to put into both of our savings account so pretty good realistically. here is where the trouble started. within 2 weeks we found out that i had an infected gallbladder that would eventually need to be removed, I was pregnant, and to top it all off Terry lost his job. we decided that it would not be wise to spend the saved money on a ring when there was a need for it in other places. Terry wanted to wait until he was able to get a ring before making our plans known to everyone and needless to say all wedding pans were put on hold. we thought maybe after the baby was born we would be able to be “officially engaged” and plan a nice wedding.
Our son Gabriel was born on October 7th of 2010 at 3:33 in the morning. i needed to have an emergency c-section where they found that my right fallopian tube had knotted and begun to develop necrosis. they had really no choice but to remove it at that time. Because they had to remove the tissue as well my healing time took double that of a normal c-section and i was looking at having to have another surgery sometime in the near future to remove the problematic gallbladder. well that future came sooner than later. about eight weeks after having our baby i was rushed to the ER to have my gallbladder removed. the procedure didn’t go as smoothly as planned so after they were finished removing the gallbladder at the hospital in Coos Bay i had to be sent by ambulance to sacred heart in Eugene to have another surgery to have the obstructions cleared. I don’t know what i would have done without Terry there. I was pretty much useless for three months and he was there holding my hand through all of it. He stayed with me every night while i was in the hospital and helped me do all the things that i just could not do. He would tell me that everything was going to be okay whenever i would stress about running out of our savings because i had been away from work for so long. He made me believe that everything would would be fine as long as i was healthy for him and for Gabriel. he gave me my son who is the light of my life and he gave me hope for the future of our little family.
I was finally able to return to work at the beginning of the year. by that point we had run out of the money we had put aside and had been depending on Terry’s unemployment to pay our bills. We knew that a wedding was unrealistic at that point and figured we could work on saving a bit from my paychecks to go towards a ring and things for wedding planning. things were going well until i lost my job as well. like most of America finding another job in the area was proving very difficult. A good friend of ours, who i consider my sister, asked us to relocate with her to Eugene and so our little family as well as another close friend all relocated recently to Eugene. we used what was left of our savings to make the move in hopes of a new start and more opportunities for our little boy and four all of us.
Things are still tough and we are still trying to play catch up with our bills but things are starting to get better. In October we inherited my great-grandmothers wedding set (that i have always loved) which Terry was finally able to truly propose with and we able to start looking optimistic at the chance of really having a wedding someday. realistically its going to take years to be able to afford even a small wedding with a budget of about $2000. Neither of us come from well to do families so everything will have to come from our pocket. we were originally thinking a spring 2013 wedding and i even had a dress that i got used for a good price off of EBAY but in order to be able to have Christmas for Gabriel i had to sell it. Now we are looking at sometime in 2014 to get married. we have been trying to do little things along the way to help defer the cost for example instead of having real flowers i am making flowers out of coffee filters. we have been scouring Craigslist to find things we can use for the wedding. I will most likely be making my own cake and Terry will be making most of the food. Unless we can find a photographer doing photography for free we are not going to be able to afford having professional pictures done. We are trying to have a nice wedding that any of our parents had and to do that means getting more than a little creative with dollar stretching and some otherwise major aspects have to go by the wayside.
to say that winning the dream wedding would be a dream come true would not even come close to the truth. it is so far above and beyond what i could possibly dream for us and our families. It would mean that my dad would not have to cry anymore because he can’t afford to help us. it would mean that we would actually have pictures to show our children of when mommy and daddy got married like i always wished i had growing up. It would mean that our dream of being able to get married “someday when we can afford it” would come true. I could have a wedding dress and we could have a honeymoon. It would be the difference of having everyone we care about present compared to the small portion we are realistically going to be able to invite to the wedding we have planned. winning the dream wedding at Abernethy would truly be the greatest blessing we could ever receive. we have worked so hard just to get to where we are now that just having the chance to be a part of this is truly wonderful. the dream wedding is so far outside of what we, and people like us, could possibly do on our own is almost unimaginable. thank you for making someones dreams come true.
** if you have made it this far you deserve a cookie and i will love you forever**